Who's an Internet Whore?

I am!

God I don't think I could live very long without going insane if I did not have this glorious thing called the internet. I may try and act like I don't really need it, but god almighty is it an ever important thought in my head. I don't have a MySpace or anything but I'm always wondering if I missed something, or if I have an important e-mail waiting for me, did I miss something on my calrendar? Oh god the inhumanity. I think the government should issue everyone an up to date working computer with DSL or better. I know I'm crazy but you all should have known that by now!! So how was your holiday? My Christmas was beautiful, I got almost everything I wanted. I got my iPod, and my stereo, plus I got mass Nightmare Before Christmas stuff (including a belt, a stocking, a keychain, some magnets, chapstick, stationary, ect) and I got a bunch of gift cards ( I LOVE GIFT CARDS) which allowed me to buy two new video games. Gods I love Christmas and now my b-day is almost here. I love holidays. I love a lot of things now that I think about it. So I guess I'm going to go surf my beloved internet until the sun comes up!! OH Yeah!

Internet Whore Forever,
Sacred Secret

Merry Christmas!

Hey! It's almost christmas, and since I probably won't post again until maybe my birthday, I'll leave yowith something that will entertain you. RANDOM STUFF FROM INFO TECH CLASS! Yaayy!! Okay, here we go!
This first selection is called "Away" I don't remember why...

"Away©"

Do you know how I feel when you touch me?

Do you know I can barely hold back tears?

Do you know how much you remind me of the things I used to know?

Do you know that when you speak I shudder?

Do you know how much your voices are a like?

The only difference I'm afraid is you've taken longer, loved me shorter.

Can you believe that there are people like me?

People whom just want to be truly loved. I cannot believe it has taken me so long.

To realize that I have done this by myself.

Maybe I should go away and try to live alone by myself away from me away from you…

Can you believe that I’ve been waking in the middle of the night, just to make sure your arm is still around my waist?

Just to make sure you are still holding me tightly?

To make sure that my body is still perfectly contoured to yours?

I can't believe I've made it this far...

Or that you've helped me reach it.

Well that was fun right? Kind of interesting if I do say so myself. Here's something else, this is called "Boredom" no wonder...

Once upon a time there was a magical greenbean. The magic greenbean got eaten one day and turned the cow that ate him into a frog that then got eaten by a snake that got eaten by another snake that got eaten by a crocodile that got killed and worn by some people that just happened to all be on the same plane that just happened to crash in the middle of the atlantic ocean. The moral of this story is: Run on scentences are bad for you, so watch your punctuation.

I was reaalllyy bored when I wrote that. Thus the title. This next thing is kind of a song kind of not. I'm not really sure what to call it. But it's technically titled "The End Of Humanity"

"The End Of Humanity©"

This is an end to humanity.

This is the end of my sanity.

This is the end, yes, this is the end.

This is the end of us all.
Can you feel it?

Can you feel hidden deep within your bones?

Can you feel it?

The sorrow searching for a home.
It’s such a feeling that it gives the reasoning to tell you this is the end.

This is the end.

This is the end of us all, us all.

This is the end of us all.
Must I say it again?

I will tell you only once more.

This feeling I’m getting is something I’m fretting.

Not something I can just ignore.
This is the end, yes, this is the end.

This is the end of us all, us all, this is the end of us all.

Morbid little tune isn't it? Well I think I'm doen now, that's all you get. So Merry Chrismahaunakwannzaka to you! lol I so stole that just now. And to answer a recent question Gaiety means cheerfulness and or merriment.

Alright, peace out everyone!

TWMA,

Sacred Secret!

P.S: And A Happy New Year!!!!

The Best Years

Song(s) Of The Day: "Through The Glass" --- Stone Sour & "Behind Blue Eyes" ---- Limp Bizkit

(unedited)
I was just looking at my stuff from elementary school and you know what? Those were the best years of my life. Minnimal drama, recess, cool teachers (mostly), little homework, field trips, man that was the best. I miss going to the Pacific Science Center in the spring and coming in from recess soaked with grass stains on my jeans from rolling around in the grass fields. I loved playing actual games in gym class and looking forward to it. I liked hanging out with my Real friends before/during/after school. I liked the simple gossip that didn't really matter. I though it was cool that it was okay for me to be out of the loop 'cause I wasn't the only one. I think my best experience in elementary school was the sixth grade. I learned a lot then, and I want to go back. But I don't want to feel the pain of splitting up again. That sucked. Me and my friends split up and went to different middle schools, but it's kind of okay now 'cause most of them go to my current school. Maybe I'm just feeling loathesome of my current situation right now, I don't know.

Phrase Of The Day: "Your only as good as what you create."

Punctuation Of The Day: "."

Well, I guess I'l go now. I've tidilated your senses enough. Oh btw check out those songs, okay? Their really awesome.



TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Jeez!

Holy crap can you believe it's almost Christmas already!? That went by hella fast. First I'm rolling down the street trying to go places after Thanksgiving then BOOM! It's Christmas time! Jeez...time needs to slow down a little bit I don't want to be older just yet. I like this age. I'm just settling into it. Doesn't it seem that way? You finally start telling people how old you really are because you haven't forgotten and you've got to start saying something else because your birthday came. It's insane. I know I know I don't have any reason to complain that I'm old but I feel like I can! Old people can't really complain either can they? What's so bad about being old other than you lose your flase teeth all the time and people start calling you gramps? I don't see a problem with being and old person who get's to sit on their butt all day and do whatever they please, be respected by total strangers 'cause your old. I like respect. I like being lazy. Being old sounds perfect to me! I could be wrong of course. Also, if young people and old people don't get along how come middle aged people who aren't kids anymore get along with old people? Is it because their about to be old? I dunno. Tell me if you find out. But then again I know alot of adults who hate old people, and they like seriously cannot stand them. It's funny sometimes. Well I guess I'll get to steppin now. I'm gonna go take a shower and eat some cereal. I like cereal. YEAH!


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Congratulations

Hey, how are things? Hope it's all well. My life has been busy. Or so it seems anyway. The voices lives are acting up again, and as much as I hate to admit it, and as mean as it probably is I love it when they have problems. It's so much more interesting that way becasue none of that ever happens to me. Sorry for those who are offened. I think I have a problem though. My ex-boyfriend and I seem to be hooking back up, not to go out again I can't do that. But we make a good couple when we're not dating. What sense does that make? And a guy I like is going to join the school choir next year, but I want to take French that year, what to do? EEK! Info Tech Teacher is coming g2g


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

I Like What You've Done With The Place!

So what do you think? This place doesn't look too shabby, eh? I like it. It satisfies me, now. OF course I'll have to change the background again soon and the word of the day is probably morew like the word of the week, but it's cool. I'm in Info Tech so I told me teacher I'm "researching website development using hands on techniques". lol he believes me. He also said I should carry a little notebook in my pocket for my ever flowing ideas. I guess it works 'cause I'm always wearing hoodies. So far my day's been alright. One of the Voices will be here later 'cause the way my room looks is pissing them off. (I'm okay with them cleaning my room! ^_^) So I'll be gone for a while after this class. I don't think I'll stay for science either. I'll just leave after I'm done with my blog. Does anyone know where/how you put your profile on this thing again? It was on there before but when I updated it went bye-bye. *tear* I'm sad now, we were so close!! Buwahahaha, I'm happy today I don't know why. Okay I guess I'll go now and I'll think I'll try and post later (after my room is clean) Peace!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S.: 14 days til Christmas!

New Version?

So my concert was great, I suppose I should have been a little calmer during it...but everyone else was too damn stiff! Now then, this new version of blogger brgins suspison to me. I don't know why. I have to go now. I was just keeping my promise of posting after my concert. Now I'm gonna go back to work 'cause the Voice that's here doesn't want to be where they live....if you know then it makes sense. Anyway, peace out.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: My head is greasy. ^_^

Happy Birthday To You!

It's Fange's b-day! I'm happy. My birthday is three weeks and six days from today! lol I hope she's having a good day so far, if she didn't I'll beat up whoever made her unhappy!!!! *death glares the people at Fange's school who piss her off* Anyway ^_^ Today is happy. YOU MUST BE HAPPY TODAY! I'm getting my fro done today too (I think) so I can look fly for the winter ball. Which happens to be right after my choir concert. Yo'll know what day that is 'cause I'll post. I PROMISE. And if I don't I'll post the next day! lol or the day before. So expect a pose either the 8th, 9th, or 10th of this month. (If your smart you figured out what day my concert is already) Well I gotta go do stuff so I love you all and have a happy day!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Black Outs

Black outs...you never expect them. Most people never even have them. But I do. I missed school today because of a black out. I don't remember this morning at all. But from what I was told I wouldn't get up so they left me. I didn't hear anything, feel or see anything, when I woke up around 1:40 I was confused and dazed. I didn't know why I wasn't at school or who was in the house or what was going on, or what day it was for that matter. These don't happen to me too often but sometimes they do. It's better than me going off and killing someone I suppose but it still freaks me out. I'm gonna go to school tommorow...

Darkness Encasing Me,
Sacred Secret

Blogging.

I won't blog for long I don't think. Maybe I will maybe I won't. I'm finishing up a powerpoint (ppt) for school, and I'm adding all the "cool graphics and animation". It's not so bad, just a little boring (I think) because it's for school and I can't put random stuff in it. But it should turn out cool when I'm completley finished. So far I've only done the first section out of four. Which is cool 'cause that's how much I'm supposed to do right now anyways. My Uncle is getting married today. His wedding is going to be off the hook, I saw the dresses and stuff. So cool. I got to help them prepare for the reception 'cause thats what Fange' was doing. Besides I didn't have anything better to do. If your wondering (you probably aren't) The Voices are doing good...most of them anyway. There are a lot of them expecting/having/trying/raising kids. That makes my job as a babysitter so much better. (The pay is beautiful) But they'll grow up eventually *sigh* lol I'm gonna go now 'cause I don't have anything better to do. Peace Out Ya'll.

TWMA
!Sacred Secret!

Back 2 School

I gotta go to school today, but it's 2 hours late. So I don't have to be there until 9:30. Which is cool. It's probably mega cold outside anywayz. I'm hungry though, so I'm going to have some Trix cereal and take a shower (hopefully I'll have time to take one, if not I'll just take one after school) It's hot in my house though, and I couldn't sleep for the life of me. And now I can't type worth crap!!!! Damndable typos, God! I don't know if my sister has to go to school today or not. I'll find out later. Well I'm gonna go do that now, since there's nothing better to do. Have a nice day.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Oh My Gosh!

Okay like I said I'm posting now. But there isn't a whole lot to post about. The snow thing closed my school today. I think I enjoy not going to school but being home makes me sad :( . I want to go outside but it's cold and I take forever to get warm again. But I'll go out there eventually before the snow melts I guess. Until then I'll sit in my house and do my homework and talk to my friends who don't have school as well and sip hot cocoa. I don't think I've written anything new....I'll check for you though. Oh! Here's a story I wrote during Info Tech. If you find any similarities between a few books you've read or not that's probably because I was reading said books at the time. So here you go.

New Beginnings, Sorrowful Endings©:

Jeremiah paced back and forth silently, glancing at the clock."Is she done now?" he looked at his brothers and back to the clock.Leviathan shook his head
"She'll be done when she's done. They come and tell us, man. Wait." Jeremiah sighed and continued to pace. What if they didn't come and tell him? What if they just sat in there, making him suffer on purpose? Had he done something to offend them? He would apologize if that were what they wanted as long as they did not keep her for much longer.
He heard a door open and he looked over quickly.
"Mr..Yove'? Your wife and baby girl would like to see you now, and any immediate family." Jeremiah rushed over to her and looked at his brothers, "Come on, Come on!" He hurried as the five large men roused themselves from their chairs.
"Uh...well..." the nurse stammered, awed by their sheer size, "Are you all family?"
Leviathan looked at her and smiled. "Yes of course. May we see the baby now?" She nodded weakly and beckoned them through the doors.
Russell came last through the doors and shuddered, he did not like hospitals. "Trev, I don't want to go in there." he called softly to his brother, whom was ten years older than he.
"Come on, you want to see Mary and the baby right?" Russell nodded and followed close behind his brother, after taking his hand.
Leviathan walked with Aaron and Mack, talking with them about the game that had been on in the lobby. The Colts had won against the Patriots twenty-one to fourteen, and the twins were psyched. When the nurse opened the door to Mary's room, Jeremiah ran to her side so quickly it did not look like he had actually moved.
"Mary, are you alright? Where's the baby? Did you name her?" questions poured out of him so fast, Mary did notUnderstand, and held a weak paled finger to his lips. "Hush, Jeremiah. Samantha is fine. She's in the nursery." Jeremiah sighed in relief and kissed her hand, staring at her appreciatively.
Trevor and Russell came over and said softy that they were going to go see the baby, with the nurse. They left quietly. Aaron, Mack, and Leviathan joined Jeremiah at Mary's bedside, and smiled at her. She looked up weakly at all of them, smiling. "You all are such good boys. Stay that way, alright?" The twins exchanged worried glances, "What are you talking about?" Mack said frowning. Leviathan walked over to Jeremiah and whispered to him.
Jeremiah spoke softly his reply and a single tear slipped down his cheek. Mary touched the hands of the twins softly and looked back to her husband, "I love you, take good care of her." He nodded and said a soft "I will," before kneeling and covering his face with one hand, barely holding back sobs.
Aaron realized what was happening and backed away, falling ungracefully into a gray hospital chair. Mack's hands began to shake as he covered his mouth, convulsing, closing his eyes tightly attempting to hold back the flood of tears.
Leviathan stood beside Jeremiah, his large heavy hand on his shoulder, "It's going to be alright my brother." Jeremiah shook his head swiftly and stared, teary eyed up at his wife.
Mary looked down at him and smiled; "You have...to be." she took in another breath, "Strong for.Sam." He took her hand and nodded, not able to do anything else.
The nurse came back in with Russell and Trevor in tow, holding the smallest creature Jeremiah had seen in his entire life. And it was his, her soft cry, her smile, and her eyes. They were his, but they were also very much Marys'.
Russell handed Samantha over to Mary very carefully, completely aware of the protective Fathers eyes that watched his every movement. Mary smiled at the child and began to sing to her, in a soft motherly tone. After a while the baby's cries stopped, soon after that the song did as well.
With the baby still cuddled to her breast, she slipped out of the living world."We should take the baby from her now." The nurse suggested only getting six angry growls as her reply.
Jeremiah stood slowly leaning against the bed, his hand over his beloveds for the rest of time. "Jeremiah, take Sam, and lets get out of here." Leviathan instructed, patting the brothers back gently.
Nodding, Jeremiah slipped the child from her mother and held onto her tightly, watching as the motherly smile faded, falling into dust. As the body disintegrated into ashes, the men bowed their heads, praying for Mary's never-ending peace within Paradise.
Jeremiah signed release forms and walked out the door with one less person than he wanted to. He thought the birth of this child would be a happy event, the Samantha's birth would be an occasion the he could celebrate with his wife.
Now he is to celebrate it with only his brothers and Sam. It is not as bad as it seems, though. For Mary is a child, being born right now, who will run across Jeremiah's path in kindergarten class.

There I tried to make it not so...clumped together. But blogger does hate me so who knows. I had to make this post long with something so you got my story. Want a picture too? I neglected you so you can have a picture too. Okay fine. You don't get a picture right now 'cause blogger hates me. Or maybe it hates you...? Well whatever the reason, I'll post one later.

TWMA Ya'll!,
Sacred Secret

Holy Cow!

Wow it's been a while huh? Jeez. I didn't mean for it to go so long but Thanksgiving was a blast and I had so much on my mind. I'm sure you all forgive me. I'll get back to updating really soon. I'll try and post tommorow if the school's computers aren't being stupid. I'm going to sleep now though so, happy belated Thanksgiving all and I'll talk to you tommorow!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Happy 40th!

W00t! W00t! This is officially my 40th post! How Cool! *does a happy dance* How exciting how exciting!! So now I don't know what to do, this post should be really cool and exciting and full of good news! But...I'm not sure I have and exciting news for you...OH! Hey I know you get to know something that's kind of annoying! I'm two choirs right? And since I have two choirs it is a possibility that I will sing something I've sang before correct? Yes. And I'm okay with this. sBut why do I have to resing the songs I hate!??! Grrrrrr that's annoying! Gah, we're singing "African Noel" is both choirs and I hate that song...with a passion. But that isn't going to ruin my day, or this post! ^_^ Happy Birthday blog! Puwahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Now what? Uhm...wanna know a secret? I like cheese! Don't tell. lol I got that from Fange'.

I'M FULL! <---- Taco Bell commercial
Why buy a mattress anywhere else? *ping!* <--- Sleep Country
I hate you, you hate me! <--- Barney song spoof
Backstreets back, Alright! <---Uhm...
Out of the box! Out of the box! <--- Out of the box. Duh.
Happy cows come from california! <---Ahh...the power of cheese.


Okay, bye bye now!

Happy 40th, Mr. Blog!,
Sacred Secret!


P.S. <_<>_> TWMA ya'll.

"It's All Good."

lol I was thinking about my cousin saying that. And about him doing the cha cha. That was so freaking funny. But of course, There have been alot of funny things with them. Lie the creation and destruction of "Meximaru" the dancing mexican dog-man. That was great, and "calming" will forever be funny. The word "putty" too. lol I'm gonna get yelled at for putting all this on here but I don't care right now. I'm too happy. I don't know why either, I just am so I'm going to enjoy the feeling. The enjoyable feeling of being happy. It seems like I'm never happy anymore, by reading my recent posts. So I just want to be happy right now. For this single moment. here's a quote:

"To truly taste happiness you must experience everything but."

I like it. Z said that. It surprised me, 'cause he doesn't normally say stuff like that, but out it came and it was cool. Phury looked at him funny when he did but didn't think much of it. It just must be a day for "those times" you know? Those times when weird moods and ooc things happen? It's a day for those times! Wow, a whole 24 hours dedicated to doing stuff you wouldn't normally do. Saying things you wouldn't normally say, and talking to people you normally wouldn't! lol maybe I'm overly happy. I dunno. Oh! I had a dream last night, it was about Jesus. And him being a goat. And everyone who eats goat dying because they ate Jesus. And the people who drink goat milk turning into pigs because they drank Jesus, and the people who Sacrifice goats got sent to heaven 'cause that's what was going to happen anyway! lol didn't see that coming. The sacrifice thing is another inside joke. I couldn't tell you because it wouldn't make anysense unless you knew the people and blah blah blah. *smiles* It was funny though. SO I think I'm gonna go now and write a story. Yes I'm in class. But it doesn't matter! Let the writing flow, man! Let it flow!

:)

TWMA,
Sacred Secret!

[Insert Title Here]

I stayed home today. I feel sick, and tomorrow I'm gonna have to ask all my teachers what we did in class. Oi what a hassle. But I still have voice lessons today. I'm excited but my nose is stuffy which makes my voice sound weird. So, whatever. I'm listening to Evanesence. But it's their older stuff. My voice sounds like theirs. So I'm trying to get my voice to sound normal again. Right now I'm trying to remember what I was thinking about yesterday. It was something like how astonished I was that my math class was my favorite place to be in the whole school...I don't know why, but it is. I feel good in there.
Somtimes when I feel alone, more so then normal in my bed I place my hand to my stomach, just to feel my own heartbeating. It's a weird thing that I do, I know, but I do it anyway. It makes me feel less alone for some reason. Maybe because when I do that I can pretend I'm not alone at all. I can pretend I have the life I want. Someone ideal to share the bed with and a much smaller someone depending on me. Some I love before I even meet them or hold them in my arms. Have you ever done that? Probably not. I'm odd so I understand if you've never done any of the things I ask you if you've done. *sighs* I...I just want a child. They don't even have to be mine. But I need a child in the house, or someone I can go to that has a child. I'm in one of those maternal moods if you can't tell. Though only Fange' knows I have these moods. These times when I just need a child to talk to an hold on to. To make me feel like I'm doing something important....finally. Matter of fact, want to see the baby I love the most? Here:

It's blurry, so it doesn't do her justice. But she's a beautiful little girl. Telling you her name would be stupide, on my part, so you don't get to know. I watched her on monday and it was so great taking care of her. Watching her walk all around the house and play with her toys. Feeding her was an adventure! *smiles* I loved it though. So anyway.

Now I'm writing down some lyrics. They aren't my own, so don't get any ideas. I think I'll post again later today.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

Flat, Lifeless...

I don't know. I'm feeling...different. It's a new stage of my floaty moods. I've been here before but never so deeply. I'm not even sure I want to be writing this. My mind is so fogged. Such a great heaviness I bear right now...So I'm feeling alone. In crowds of people I feel alone and alone I feel small. Like a lost child, alone and afraid, almost ready to welcome anyone to hold me, but still clutching to the thought that I will find my Mother. But perhaps this is a test, the voices are always testing me so mayhap the current world wishes to test me as well. *closes her eyes* So be it. Alas, I finished my book. "Lover Awakened" was a beautiful book. I think I may read it again, and perhaps a third and fourth time. As I thought I grew to love Phury so much more. And Tohrment...oh my heart breaks for him. Zsadist became closer to my heart as I knew we would, but his female, Bella, has become a favorite too. Someone I didn't expect to get closer with is Butch, the human that hangs out with the Brotherhood. Him and Vishous live together in The Pit, like a guest house of the Brotherhoods mansion. They are not together. I loved the ending and then again I hated it. I still wonder the name of Zsadist child, whether or not he named her Nalla. In the book it says Nalla means something along the lines of 'beloved', so if he did name her that I wouldn't be too surprised. Anyway, I've got to go now. Farewell.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Not Much To Say

The title says it all. I really don't have that much to say. Do you want to see something? It's a half poem/song I wrote. It isn't done but I'm not going to finish it. I don't like it very much....

Home

Dying slowly
Decaying
Faster
One thing, I cannot try to do is
Live without you
How can this have happened?
How can fate do this to me?
What kind of sick game is
Destiny trying to play?
What have we done
To call this upon ourselves?
How could you leave me
To undo
All
This...?
It isn't as funny as it was
This twisted joke
I know its just a plea
Please, now
Can you
Hear me
Lord?
Can you hear me
calling
Home.
Oh, can you hear me calling?
Calling
Calling
This sweet anthem of what death should be.
My destiny your fate
Wrapped in a twisted
Game
Dying
Decaying
Twisting
Down
Calling
My Lord
And Your Savior
Home
I'm calling
Home
Can we go
Home
I want to go
Home.

Yeah so that's all. I don't like it. It isn't exactly my style which is probably why I don't like it. Do you? I'm trying to convince one of the voices voices to put their song on the other blog 'cause it's really cool. It's called............"Your Kiss" it's pretty cool I think. You don't have to. There is only one person who needs to approve of that song and it isn't you. Or me for that matter. *laughs* Well I guess I'm done now. Latah.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

"Spread your wings, and learn to fly in the cold, cold night sky."

WTMI: Way Too Much Information

This is going to be a post you may not want to read. I'm going to complain about being a girl. Maturity Advisory.

Ick. It's that time. I hate it. It's so gross and irritating. It makes me really paranoid. So I'm kinda glad it's Halloween. It gives me yet another reason to wear All black. Besides the fact that it's one of my favorite colors ^_^. So, I sit on my feet during class, just in case. I wear bigger sweaters, just in case. And give my backpack extra weight in toilettries, just in case. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Everything freaks me out. And the Voices? Let's not get started on them. Another thing I hate is that annoying constant pain in my chest when even the slightest thing happens. You go to lay on the desk and you shoot back up because the desk is hard, your boobs are not. *sighs* So painful. I can't tell you how many times I've done that today. Do you remember as a little kid you'd just flop on the floor or the couch or whatever and not have to worry about protecting those things? Now it's painful. VERY Painful. It's almost like kicking a guy in the crotch. It's just that painful. My friedn gacve me a hug and ran her chest into mine and we both pulled back and grabbed out chests and almost cried. After a little while we started laughing and hugged more carefully. Oi, that was painful. Anyways, yeah. I think I'm gona talk about something else.

Quote Of The Day: "Do you know who Kittie is???!"-J.Minor

Word Of The Day: Ninny

Definition: Fool

Sentence: You are a ninny, you will always be a ninny."

Song Of The Day: "Hey Ladies"--- Destinys Child

Now I think I'm gonna go se Peace.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S.: Happy Halloween, Happy Birthday, Congratulations! (You know who you are)

It's not usually this bad...

Okay so as you all know, I have been having a few days that could have been better. Of course today was just peachy. *rolls her eyes* But I won't go into that. I don't want to get that worked up again. I took a long tie to calm down when it happened. Even thinking about it pisses me off. So in short...today sucked. Utterly and completely sucked. Now I'm going to talk about an idea that's been floating around my head:
Do you ever find it hard to stretch out the description and ideas, dialogue and insignificant babble while writing and type of literature? I've associated writing with a lot of things but I find it's most like torture. I know that sounds weird at first but think about it. When you read about it, sometimes you feel like the writer is just toying with you, being an asshole on purpose. Stretching everything out like a bloody soap opera. Don't you want to get back at them for torturing you like that? You want to be able to torture your own readers, make them squirm in their seats. Make them sweat, make them dream the ending and then change it. Torture the characters to make them scream. Make them cry and wish they had never picked up your book but they stay with it because they love the pain. It's such a glorious pain that they can't stand it and they read faster and faster, keep turning the pages until the page they turn is the back cover. And you have dealt your final blow. The End. You see now? You see how it is so greatly like torture? How it's concepts are the same? How each and every little prick in writing or torture is significant? Each point of pain or pleasure, each little moan or scream. They all matter. The slightest twisting of your character makes the reader want more and more. Until they can't take it. Until they're crying with such a hate toward you that they can't wait for your next book. They fly to the shelves to find it, they scream your name to their friends pushing your book into their hands encouraging their torture. Wanting them to experience the same pain and agonizing pleasure. Alright I think I'm done now..maybe...yeah. I'm good now. So I'll talk to you all later when I'm...myself again.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

The Gift Of Knowledge

Today is my Mom's birthday. I got her my grades and I made her a CD. She was happy. lol I'm so cheap. None of it cost me anything, but she's just happy 'cause I'm not failing school and I'm cool with that. It was a cool idea though, right? I think so. Okay okay now,

W.O.T.D: Sciaphobia
Definition: Fear of shadows

I like this word. I like it's meaning.

Movie.O.T.Week: Stick It

This movie rox my sox. WATCH IT AND REVEL IN IT'S BRILLIANCE!

^_^ And finally my personal favorite catergory

Song. O.T.D: "A Song For Mama" -- Boyz II Men

I love this song!! Tomorrow's will probably be "Unleash The Dragon" by Sisqo. 'Cause that song is awesome (and funny). Hm hm. What now? Do you know what it feels like to have your whole world ripped apart slowly, and then painfully sown back together? I don't. I hope to never experience the feeling. I know someone who has, however. She's very sad today. Her boyfriend (of six months) broke up with her, 'cause her best friend is crazy. But she's crazy in a good way, and personally I think it's a great thing they broke up. But she doesn't. She's very depressed, and I feel for her. He only broke up with her a little while ago so he's still floating around somewhere (bastard..). He such a loser though. He got in an "accident" and she has been helping him get better. Now, since he can walk, he's leaving her. Did he thank her or anything? No of course not (not that she cares or anything but still) did he even apologize? Nope. I think her best friend is going to go after him again for making her sad, but then again she might not. It all depends. Anyway, I feel bad for her and I hope things get better.
On another note, I have a concert tomorrow. I'm only singing four songs (the shortest concert I've done so far) and it's kind of weird to think about that I have to wear a robe, and that my normal choir people won't be there. But, eh I guess it's a new experience to benefit my singing career. I hope it all goes well. Wish me luck.
I don't really know what to write about now, but the song I'm listening to. It's called "One Of Us" by Joan Osborne. It's kinda like gospel but not. I like it. It's about God being one of us. It's a good song. I know. Here's the lyrics:

"One Of Us"

By Joan Osborne

If God had a name, what would it be

And would you call it to his face

If you were faced with him in all his glory

What would you ask if you had just one question
And yeah yeah

God is great

Yeah Yeah

God is good

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

What if God was one of us

Just a slob like one of us

Just a stranger on the bus

Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like

And would you want to see

If seeing meant that you would have to believe

In things like heaven and in Jesus and the Saints and all the Prophets
And yeah yeah

God is great

Yeah Yeah

God is good

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

What if God was one of us

Just a slob like one of us

Just a stranger on the bus

Trying to make his way home

He's trying to make his way home

Back up to heaven all alone

Nobody calling on the phone

Except for the Pope maybe in Rome
And Yeah Yeah

God is great

Yeah Yeah

God is good

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

What if God was one of us

Just a slob like one of us

Just a stranger on the bus

Trying to make his way home

ust trying to make his way home

Like a holy rolling stone

Back up to heaven all alone

Just trying to make his way home

Nobody calling on the phone

Except for the Pope maybe in Rome...

Isn't it a good song? I think it is I think it is. Even if you don't think it is. I don't care 'cause my opinion matters most 'cause it's my blog. NYEEEEAAAAHHH! Heehee, Just kidding. Your okay. What now? I've said 'now' a lot this time. Do I say it a lot period? I think I might. O_O Oh no. Noooooooo!! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm bored now. I'm signing out people.

TWMA,

SaCrEd SeCrEt

P.S: I had to change it up a little ^_^

"The secrets out.."

Poem

Okay I have to sdo this really quick so this is unedited as well, I know I've become extremely lazy when it comes to editing, but take me out later.

W.O.T.D: Daemonophobia

Definition: Fear Of Demons


Now then, this is why I'm writing to post this poem, tell me what you think!

Black Roses ©

You can smell the salt of the tears as you walk into the room
The perfect rows of people in the pews
Taking it all in.
Black Roses
You can see his Mother crying
His brother so distant, his wife so…
Alone
Black Roses
Do you feel the heaviness of sorrow?
Can you hear their cries?
Lord, what have we done to deserve this?
Such pain in
Black Roses
In the picture they are crying,
When they were married, there were tears of joy, not pain
Alas, now all is near it’s end and the
Family
Is in ruin
How can they move on when he’s lying in a casket?
She’s due in a month and still she’ll be
Alone
Black Roses
Feel their soft petals; take in their alluring scent,
For nothing is more potent in death than
Black Roses

I wrote it for english class, so if it sucks that's why. It's not one of my best but it worked for it's purpose. Peace out now!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Question.

W.O.T.D: Autophobia

Definition: Fear of being alone

(unedited)
The word of the day has almost nothing to do with the rant I'm about to impose on all of you. Which I refuse to apologize for right now because if you don't want to listen to me rant then maybe you should juust stop now, hm? Now anyway, first I want to ask you: Does everyone reserve the right to be a bitch at atleast one time? I think they do. I think today was my day for that. School pissed me off because people are morons, and it was apparantly "pissed-of-touch-sophmore-day" and no body told me so I got threatened by a lot of people. Then I got home and I know this is petty but the slightest change pissed me off. see normally there'sonly one person at my house because I get home earlier ten my mom does and my grandma doesn't work so I don't have to worry about her bothering me, so I just go in my mom's room where the computer is and reside in my sanctuary untill I have to leave again or talk to people. But today my mom stayed home and when I got here my mom was sitting in my sanctuary (the computer chair) playing some stupid game, then my gandma pops up and starts touching me (which I cannot stand) asking me obvious questions and shit. Then when they finally leave me alone I had to go to choir, which I'm normally okay with. So I went to choir, when I get there, no one was even there yet so I had to sit outside, alone, very very alone. Not for long or anything like 10-15 minutes but thats....quite long enough...and then when my choir teahcer got there she told me she wanted to switch me to an Alto (if you know me, you know how hard I workd to be a Soprano.) and she said I could switch if I wanted. I gracefully declined. After we started choir, everyone was being stupid, throwing the notes around, mixing up each others parts and when I tried to straighten it out, guess what? I got told to shut up. She wasn't making any damn changes! Was she fixing anything? No. She wasn't. She was helping the Altos. Did she ever come over to the Sopranos? No. She didn't. That irritated me all the more and then the little annoying girl-child whom I've so 'lovingly' nicknamed 'Vitalany' after the lion in Lion King II Simba's Pride. She was being more annoying than normal today. The idiot blonde behind me whose nickname is 'Assdo' was being more blonde than normal. Joe, who is normally the only guy in the choir that I talk to (Other than the Angelic-Boy-Of-Doom) seemed easily irritated as well. So me and my partner in crime (H.H) spent the time laughing, making fun of people, and pissing off Vitalany, who sits in front of us. The Angelic-Boy-Of-Doom helped my mood though. After choir, I ran home (as is normal) and was once more alone. Now I sit here ranting, just getting back from Red Robin (resturant) with Nightmare sitting on the chair back, behind me. Talking to my friend, writing a letter, writing a poem, listening to music, and doing my homework...since I'm bored you guys get a picture...:

Well now I'm done. I have no more to say

Nightmare: *purr purr* Mow...

Later people,

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

Bloggin' From School

That's right, I finally figured out how to blog from school. Isn't that great? I think so. I haven't blogged in a while because I've been trying to figure out how to do so from school and then school itself and Oi what a hassle. Anyway, man my legs are hurtin! Fange' and me went on a 10 miles walk on Sunday and omg my legs. My back hurts too, but my legs are screaming. Tells you how much exercise I get. On another note, I got the new Evanescence CD. The Open Door, the CD is sick. I'm in love with it. My favorite songs are "Lithium", "Lose Control", and "Sweet Sacrifice". "Call Me When Your Sober" is cool too. But I do like the whole CD in itself. It's really awesome I recommend it. If you like the band anyway. Uhmm what else? Oh, today so far at school it's been okay. I couldn't concentrate on anything in English. My teacher, who reminds me a lot of my 'Uncle', kept coming over asking me if I was okay and stuff. I'm like yeah yeah I'm fine I just hurt. And my voice died in second period (choir). So I sang real quiet. Third period (algebra 1) we went to the computer lab so I didn't have to do much but now I have homework, how stupid. And now here I am in fourth period, Info tech, listening to the fools around me do absolutely n-o-t-h-I-n-g. My teacher for this class, Mr. Urner, is sitting in the back of the classroom doing anything but helping us. Or guiding us or anything. I'd have to say I love this class. Its like being at home with a faster, but older, computer. I love my background for this comp too. I got the idea from Fange' because it's sexxy. lol sorry if I stole your idea, I love you. Well I'm gonna go back to playing games 'cause I'm bored now and there isn't much more to talk about. Later.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Do I Look Troubled?

Okay so I didn't get to post from school today...but only because I forgot my username and password (genius) Anyway, today after school and old guy came up to me and gave me a Bible. What do you think that means? Do I look devious to you? Well...those who know me. Do I? Huh? Huh? Do I Do I? I don't think I do. But maybe I'm kidding myself. But I don't think I look like a very troubled young person....maybe....I don't know. But anyway. I'll try and post from school tommorow. If I can remember my bloody password!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Not Really

I'm not really awake right now. Or maybe I am and I don't know it. I'm not blogging from school yet. I'll do that later. More around 12:00 I think. You'll know. I might blog from school more often if its easy. I'm kind of hungry.....and I'm kinda bored. Don't really know what to do right now, 'cause it's really early and I can't listen to musik. So I guess I'll just go eat something and write meh stories or something. TTYL


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Loathing

W.O.T.D: Loathe/Loathing

Definition: To dislike greatly/extreme disgust

This is the word of the day because I have a rant coming on. See at first today I was wondering to myself why the hell people read out loud. OMG that is so irritating. Expecially people like Breann. I cannot stand that. You give them something to read and they read it out loud. Not even good. They read it all stupid, stumbling over words and mispronouncing things. Can't they just read it in their head? Is it so hard? I don't think it is. I think she does it just to piss me off. I already told her. "Read in your head" But noooooooooo! Of course not. Then there are people who stop in the middle of the hallway to molest each others faces. They don't step to the side, or move when people ask. They just stand there and suck face in the middle of the flippin hall. No room to get around them without being rammed into other people. Then when you try to get around them and you do run into other people. However accidental. You still get threatened to be beat up. *sighs*Is that just me? I hope not. Another thing that makes me kinda sad, actually, is that high school totally killed my relationships with my friends. Now I don't have any of them in my classes, and I see some of them during passing periods or at lunch but otherwise. Nada. Now what? Oh yes. Have you ever seen those things in the classrooms that are like 'motivational' posters? Tell me something. The ones about homework, like the one that says "Homework: Don't Leave Home Without It." why are they telling you that AFTER you get to school? That doesn't make any sense to me. Are they reminding you for tommorow? I dunno. My grandmother is another pet peeve of mine, but it would be extremely disrespectful to put my thoughts of her on this site. Even if she'll never see it. *shakes her head* As disrespectful as I am, I don't want to go to that kind of extreme. I think thats my word of the month. "Extreme". It's a cool word. I finished my book today. It was sad, and funny, and exciting. It's called "New Moon" By some lady. Its really good, I have to give it to Fange' this weekend so she can read it and I can move on to a different book. I forget the name of that one but its the Third in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. This one is about Zsadist. The most dangerous, and mysterious brother. I think he's my favorite. Other than Vishous, and Phury. Rhage is cool too, and Wrath is kinda spooky. Tohrment is awesome. He's really smart. I think Tohrment is my third favorite. Zsadist, Vishous, Tohrment, Phury, Rhage, and Wrath. Yeah that sounds about right. I might change my mind as I read this book. But I doubt it. I might grow to love Phury a little more. Anyway, enough about them. I'll have to write to you all later about a thought forming in my head. I can't write it down yet. It doesn't make any sense.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

"Alls Fair in Love and War."

Unwanted Emotions

I don't really know what's going on right now. I feel like a want to cry but I can't because....I just don't do that...ever. I mean there is the rare occasion lie just now that I'll cry because something really really really sad just happened. But I don't knoww what's happening right now. I can't figure it out and I'm not sure I want to. I want to write down all my thoughts and not be bothered with it. I want to get it out so that I'm not choking on it. So it's not threating the life of me. But I can't and it is. I want to sing, I want to....I don't know. I want to do a lot of things. I want to have a lot of things that I can't have right now because I'm not the correct physical age for it. I have an old soul. Someone told me that. And they were older than me. He's a Junior. He looked straight into my eyes and said I ahve something no one else has. Cyle doesn't normally say things like that. Matter of fact he doesn't normally talk to me at all. But to day we were on the same level I guess. I should be doing my homeworkd but I can't concentrate enough to do that. I got kicked out of doing what I love most. Maybe that's why I can't concentrate. Normally around this time I'm at the Elementary school up the street. Helping the little kids because that's what I love to do. I love listening to them and helping them solve their little disputes. I love playing games with them and making sure they don't hurt themselves. It's so fun.......but I can't do it anymore...becuase the principal is going through PMS and he said I couldn't come on campus anymore. I didn't even do anything....all I did was help...I mean it's not like I can say "NO! I'm Coming to your school whether you like it or not so NYEAAH!" I wish I could. I wish I had the courage to stand up for myself. But no, I'm just a doormat, who alows everyone to step all over me. *sighs* I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. I want to be at Fange's house. I don't have to think about these things while I'm there. She makes life carefree again. Hm. Well I guess I'm gonna go now cause even I'm getting tired of my rambling. Even though I don't know what I'm going to do after I publish this. probably just get off line until my friend gets on. Then I'll talk to her for two hours get off finish my homework go to sleep and repeat this ever vicious cycle, that is slowly but surely destroying my mind, my self-esteem and my beloved creativity....*sighs again* Oh well....

May Your Wings Take Flight,
Sacred Secret.

"Always on the wrong track..."

The End Of My Story...

Keeping in touch with you

Has become time

Consuming

Taking away from my

Life

So in this

Situation

I'm forced to say

Goodbye...

....Because I'm....

Slowly losing my mind to

You

Fearing I'll never touch you again

Lost without your warmth

I am cold and

Oh so....

Frozen...

...Because...

Somewhere hidden deep inside my

Mind

I remember you taking my

Memories

Out of all you have

Taken

I miss those the most....

...Only because....

Suddenly I've lost your

Touch

And somewhere along the

Line,

I've forgotten how to

Breathe...

...Because you...

Taking my breath in your

Hands

Laughing as the snow gently

Falls

Reminds me of the times when

I had no

Problems

At all...

...But because I cannot say....

Oh heart, quiet thy

Voice

Of booming thunder that

Deafens

My ears

Soon my overwhelming

Happiness

Will flood me so I may

Never

Be the same...

...Because of the....

Long lasting impressions

Leaving

Imprints of your

Love

In my mind

sometimes I wish I had

Never

Met you, then you wouldn't

Have the

Power

To break my

Heart...

...Because I'm...

Thinking about the

Days

Spent with you I have

Noticed

Your lack of interest in me...

...So...

This is it

It all comes down to

Now

But this is the time when I must say

I cannot continue this

Facade...

This is the

Story

Of my relationship how it happened

In Poetry form

Whether in

Dream

Or

Reality

It Is How It Is....

Sacred Secret

W.O.T.D Poetry

This is a poem I wrote during Info Tech class. My opinon on it doesn't matter so I won't even say. I hope you like it...so enjoy.

Take My Memories...©

Take my memories…
Take my dreams…
Take my sanity…
And simply let me dream
Locked in to reality
With nothing more to say
Forever considered
Insane

So often thought to be a
Genius
When simply lost in the
Translation
Of technical speech and
Morality
What can be done to save
Her?
How can he possibly reach her here…?

What can be done?
What can be done?
Nothing-left in this to
Run From
Nothing left to hold me lying Here
No one left to turn to so I will
Run from Here
Away from Here

Sometimes when I think about the lost ones
The ones who have held their lives in tears
Thinking about those that speak a tongue of
Fear.
Kami help those who understand not.

Take my memories…
Take my dreams…
Take my sanity…
And simply let me dream
Locked in to reality
With nothing more to say
Forever considered
Insane

Somewhere I have been lost in
Reality
Its throes of pain and agony
Taking my mind in its grasp
Twisting
And pulling my pictures of reality apart
Sometimes I think my rationality is faltering forever
Lost.

What can be done?
What can be done?
Nothing-left in this to
Run From
Nothing left to hold me lying Here
No one left to turn to so I will
Run from Here
Away from Here

So that's it I hope you liked it.....comments?

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

W.O.T.D

Word Of The Day is actually kind of a phrase. See?

Exotic Exile.

I'll give you definitions too.

Exotic -- 1. Foreign 2. Strangely beautiful

Exile -- 1. A prolonged, often enforced, living away from one's country 2. Person in exile

See? It has an exotic ring to it. Kind of like CellarDoor. Enough people out there know what I mean. If you don't know then watch my favorite movie. The one I got the quote from. If you don't know what I'm talking about maybe you should read the posts before this one? Or maybe you should just stop reading my blog. No one other than Fange' posts anyway. So really...what's the point in blogging other than putting my mind out on the web for millions to see? I'm thinking that I should....just start using my journal. The Voices can have their blog and I'll just resided to letting my friend read what I write in my journal. Though...I refrain from writing what I truly feel sometimes because it's on the internet. One of these days I'll post what I really feel. One of the days that I'm feeling that weird heaviness in my chest that's almost the equivalent of sorrow. That heaviness that needs to be written down in it 's unedited raw form. That needs the world to see it, breathe it visualize it until it is lifted from my chest in such a way that it doesn't come back for a long time. Such a long time that I begin to want the feeling back, unable to bring the feeling upon myself. I don't know what to write about. Sometimes I think what I'm writing is too intense until I go back and read it and then I find out that what I wrote doesn't have the power that I thought it did. Have another poem:

Hatsu's Lullaby©

My life is flashing before my eyes.
So I will shut them.
I want to see your face as my last memory.
Not my eyes wide in fear.
I want to see. I want to know. I want to feel you one last time.
Don't leave me.
Not here not ever.
Please.
Here I lay Again in my sorrow.
My pain is hollow next to your everlasting crisis.
Your selfish.
I love you.
Don't underestimate the power of the haunting lullaby.
I want to see. I want to know. I want to feel you one last time.
Don't leave me.
Not here not ever.
Please.
This haunting tune is my goodbye.
My final bedtime lullaby.
If I die before I wake I pray your dreams I will partake.
Do not mourn my death, my love.
Simply remember my last lullaby.
I want to see. I want to know. I want to feel you one last time.
Don't leave me.
Not here not ever.
Please...not here..
...not ever...
...my love...
...remember...
...my lullaby...

I didn't write that. It was a voice. He's a writer too. He likes writing songs and stuff like that. But he's a bird so that's understandable. Maybe one day I'll explain the Voices to you too. Maybe they'll explain themselves. If they don't. like I said maybe I will. It will be a while. So don't hold your breath, you'll die. I guess I'm done now.....okay....later.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret.

"Death comes to those who call when the callers ask nicely."

Tired

That's my car. Or it's my read car anyway. Sometimes I can dream about driving in it with a mystery guy. I'm old. Not old old but old, lke 24, 25. we're driving down the road laughing and listening to SexyBack. Then we see some cows, and laugh somemore. Sometimes the guy next to me is Tyler, sometimes its Brandon, sometimes its some guy I don't know. This last time it was the boy who sits next to me in Algebra. His name starts with J. I was surprised when I saw him next to me that time. 'Cause he's never been in it before. But when I rode with him we hit a cow. What do you think that means? I didn't hit any cows with any of the other guys! I wonder what that means...I'm not sure. I'm tired right now so if nothing I say makes sense than......It's because I'm tired. I'm not going to edit any of this either so if it doesn't make sense.... it doesn't make sense. My computer is being slow so when I type something and then stop it comes up like three secondes after I type it. Oh 'cause I'm tired and bored...here's a poem I wrote today:


In Touch ©

Keeping in touch with you
Has become time
Consuming
Taking away from my
Life
So in this
Situation
I'm forced to say
Goodbye...



Yeah so I wrote that during Scinence class, I think. Yeah. I'm gonna go now 'cause I have to recede into my mind.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S. The word of the day is Abhorrent. It's definition is Detestable. USE IT!

We're Bringing Sexy Back!!!

AWW YEAH!!!! CHOIR STARTS TODAY!!! YESSSSS!!!!!!!! I know I'm in the school choir but I LOVE this choir! IT starts today and I'm sooo ohappy I've been bouncing off the walls annoying everyone all day. 'Cause I can't stop talking about it. I love choir so much. It might becom a little confusing with BOTH choirs but I'll deal, cause I love choir as previously stated about twenty times. I'm gonna see all my choir buddies. OMG I can't wait to see Joe! YAY JOE! Lol Joe is so awesome. He's like 60 feet tall. Err 6'0 lol. I should get going. It doesn't start til four but I want to go I wanna be at choir and flip out on all my friends and shnite. I hope Taylors there. Both Taylors. And Evan and Honora and Chelsey said she might drop by. Oh and Brett I wanna see him too!! Man oh man......I Wanna See My Choir Peeps Yo!!!! Lol I gotta call my bff later and tell her choir started. Which means She'll probably be at my next concert As Always. I look forward to the part of the show when she stands up in the audience and yells "GO HALF-WITT!" lol that's always my favorite part of every concert. Well I'm gonna go now! Latah!


You Never Know Til Ya Try,
Sacred Secret

September 11

What's up all? As you know today is 9/11. A tragic day. Now I don't want this to be a depressing post so I'll make it short. I'm holding a moment of silence at9:11 pm. I know it's so way off the actuall time of this tragedy but...at least I'm being respectful right? I hope you've all held a moment of silence in respect for this traumatic event.


God Bless,
Sacred Secret

Nozoic 2

Okay last post had the title 'Nozoic' because I don't think this is a real word yet. I want you to know what my definition is of it.

Nozoic (nuh-zoe-ick)
Verb
Definition: The irritating nasal sound made by objects such as alarm clocks.

What do you think? Good huh? I like it I'm going to submit it to the Websters dictionary site and see if they'll take it. If they don't oh well. I don't care. So how was your summer? Mine was intresting. Kinda boring. Possibly one of the best/worst summers of my life. Right now I think I want to talk about one of my "forbidden" topics. My Dad. I don't know exactly why I want to write about him right now I just do. For those of you that don't know me and my dad don't have the best relationship in the world. He lives in Hawaii with his wife and son. He has a nice little house and he has a nice car. Though the downside of his perfect little life ss that he's in the navy and he hardly sees his family. I live in Washington. As you all know, if you've read my profile. And you knowe what? I don't want to write about him anymore. I want to go listen to music and write in my journal. I did my homework already. Second day of school and I already have homework. What kind of crap? Anyway. ttyl

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Nozoic

School is weird, and I'm going back today. I have to be there at 7:30. So not long from now. I'm barely awake. But awake enough to be writing this. I think my brain is going to die. I can't keep this "wake up at 6 and go to sleep at 10" thing for much longer. It hurts my insomnia. My body craves the moon and I forever want to stay up and watch its slow yet beautiful dance across the midnight sky. Where this giant pale ball calls to me as it floats carelessly amongst the stars. Where I so desperately long to be. Sometimes I think about joining them. The stars I mean. Just so I can be around the moon. Have conversations with other stars that know about it. I know you don't understand me right now but just keep reading okay? I think if I ever had to go to counseling my mom would have to pay a lot for the extra time I would spend there just for the hell of being with someone I know I can talk to for hour(s). When I think about going to a counselor though I can't help but think that they won't understand me at all. That they'll just nod and smile and pretend their listening and then I'll go back for another session and ask them a question and they'll be like "Oh well, last time didn't really count. And I had so much on my mind blah blah blah." Then I would have to leave. I would have to walk out. My mom would have wasted her money and then I would be without someone to talk to....Again. Still I can't help but wonder if I'm the only one in the world who can live without speaking to anyone and simply observing. I know this would be pretty hard at first but I think I can do it. This part of the blog is just the thoughts that pop into my head so bear with me. I don't understand why people are so greedy. It just doesn't make sense. Why fight and demand and be a backstabber just so you can have that spiffy iPod Nano? It's not even that cool. I find it quite ridiculous. But then again...so are a lot of things. I guess I'll go now... I'm gonna go eat some Golden Puff cereal....

"I find it kind of funny. I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."

Sacred Secret

Bad Poems

So I'm only doing one thing on this post 'cause my friend said I should I'm posting a crappy poem because she likes it so here t is:


Haunted ©

Never ending drifting through the world of the
Living
Simply drifting nothing more
As though death himself has taken refuge upon
My shoulder
Whispering sweet nothings to me
Promising pain nor pleasure, save sweet bliss
Of nothingness
Only to be free in the state
Of mind the crowds
Me
Soon my life will end in a flash of quick
Motions and songs
Sirens of the sea will
Devour
My physical being until my soul
Is left
Floating with no where to go
Soon my spirit will have no where to
Go but deaths awaiting
Arms
Then I will no longer be drifting in the
Sea
Of human flesh I will be an Immortal
Again
Living the undead life only an Immortal
Maybe
Able to live
Death has taken me into his
Arms
Still his warm breath engulfs me
As I dream about his
Promises…..


Don't steal it please.


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

I'm in love with a stripper! Lol no no. Though they refer to him as the soccer stripper. He's not. I just wanted to say that. This post really isn't about anything. I'm going camping on Thursday. That's so sexxy. I haven't gone camping in forever. I hope someday I'll be able to take my kids camping. What can I say? I have overly maternal needs. I Want kids. I don't think I'd be able to live without being able to have my own kids or be around little kids for long periods of time. I love kids. Babies especially. I can't get enough of them. Though....I think it's going to be hard for me to have kids because of the hereditary complications within my family for pregnancy. So yeah. I think that I'm going to go in my room now and crank up some musick, cause I just had a weird mood swing and my mom is pissing me off. Or....I could just recede into my head....I think I'll do both. See you all later.

The picture mimics my mood.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

Today

I think this is just a random post of boredom so if anything in this doesn't make any sense. My mind is filled with roaming thoughts that I just want to get out because the writer in me needs release It needs to be wreitten down quickly and unedited. It needs to be unread by human eyes. Only to be reread and reseen by me and the Voices. I think I'm going to go and scribble down random thoughts. Without being edited. My thoughts unedited and uncut. Sounds like something you'd see on Comedy Central. I guess it might be if your not me. You probably wouldn't understand anything that I wrote. But....that's not the case. Since I don't feel like giving any of you a picture. I'll give you a blurb from my newest writing project. Titled in my mind Project: Secrets ....You don't have to like it but if you do...coment. NICELY.


"Bound. Bound completely. What am I talking about? My feet of course, what else would you bind? Yes, they’ve bound my feet. I told them I didn’t want to….but who cares what I have to say? I’m only the princess….no big. It really hurts, I can’t feel my toes. You know why? They broke them. Yes, they broke my toes and then tied them in black and purple silk strips. I can’t run anymore, I can’t do anything but lay here because of the pain. It hurts so bad. But Reumara, my sister, she said when I get older it won’t feel as bad. Her feet have been bound for a while now and she walks gracefully. Like a cat. Though she cannot do so for long. Do you want to know what exactly happened to me today?"

Well that's it. Project: Secrets in stores probably never. Look for it.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Boredom

I'm going to go through some extreme boredom over the next few days (excluding Thursday which I'll explain later) You wanna know why such boredom will be going on? My Best Friend for....god...10 years? Has gone to Califonia for 7 days! Yes S-e-v-e-n a whole friggin' week! I'm going to be soooooooo bored. I hope she has a fantastic time though. 'Cause she's never been out of our little state. I've been out-of-state before and had loads of fun, so I hope she does the same. Anywho....What am I going to do? *sighs*....You know I think I'm going to sleep, play video games, eat, and repeat until she get's back. *shakes her head* Nah nah. I'm already extremely out of shape (not fat just out of shape) So I'll...beg my mom to take me down to the pool or somethin' enroll in some Gymnastics classes, get back in shape and try out for the gymnastics team at my new high school. It's too late to try out for Soccer so I might try to get on a non-school team. Might be fun. I'll keep Choir up, only because I was begged to death by my parents, my friends, and my fellow choir members. Hmm....I wonder why? Okay about Thursday.....I don't know if I should put this on the interweb....Okay. Well I have a "Date" on thursday. Nothing big but me and Tyler (my b/f) are going down to the water to walk aroud for a few hours, maybe grab something to eat at the Jack in The Box up the street. lol I told you it was nothing big, hopefully I'll be able to call my bff afterwards and tell her all about it. Maybe beforehand too and get some advice. My mom isn't ready for this but I am. My b/f is sweet and gentle, he's not at all rough. I'm sure he could fire out some punches if need be but when it comes down to it he's a lover not a fighter. Which is cool 'cause so am I. I think that's what my mom is worried about though. She doesn't want him to touch me. Like he's going to. *rolls her eyes* Whatever. I just want to spend some time with him. Alone. I say that because he acts so weird around everyone else. Like he's trying to impress everyone. I guess I do that too though. When we're alone...he talks so much sweeter and freely. His true nature comes out and he's very artistic and observant. I want to say more about him but I can't. I don't know what else to say other than he's a great guy. Well I have to go put Nightmare to bed. (he's falling asleep in my lap) Peace out and wish me luck!

TWMA
Sacred Secret

Home again...

Yeah I'm home. Home is good. This is a random post about nothing other than me telling you I'm home. I got a cat. His name is Nightmare. Maybe I'll post a picture of him when I get a chance. He's so cute. Heehee we got him yesterday, and he's two months old. If you can tell me when his b-day is then I'll kiss you! lol j/k j/k I wouldn't kiss strange people that I don't know. Actually...I don't even really kiss people I do know! I do kiss my Nightmare though. Lol sorry I can't stop talking about him. Anyway I'm going to go now....I don't have anything to give you so...Maybe next time?



TWMA
Sacre Secret