The Burger, The Shake...But No Fries...

In my last post I said you might get A Touch Of Poison's latest installment...but...you don't. Sorry but It's just not ready. I transferred all of my info to my computer at home and so everyrthing is out of wack and...ugh. So I have to still make the rest of my writings on this computer go home. And I have three days to do so. If only Shiroi and Ryuuzaki had their hacking skillz here. Those two! All of the boys are going through some weird thing where they feel they have to kill each other to claim their place in the family. All of them have gone insane, and try and kill each other when they aren't around the cooresponsive sister. The sewt up is like this:

Ryojin --- Nami
Shiroi ---- Uitara
Kyarameru --- Yokozuna
Ryuuzaki ---- Tesu

So all of them have different floors of the house, paired with their own sister. The girls can interact with each other fine but the boys...oi. There are like...6 or 7 different floors above ground, two below. Yes, their house is huge. So each of them get their own floor (yes, each floor has its own bathroom and mini kitchen, not that they use the kitchens) and unless they have to go to school or someplace they stay there, not wanting to kill each other. Because the boys are not of equal strengths. I'm sure out of all of them Ryojin is the strongest, for now, Kyarameru is close behind him. Ryuuzaki is the tallest and has a lot of strength behind him too and Shiroi is pretty much his twin just a little shorter. If they all got into it...it would not be a pleasant outcome.
In other news, remember when I said I would get to babysit for Yukisora and Xiao? OMG It was way more interesting than I thought it would be! Pheleon' (Xiao's Son) and Veiraun (Yukisora's Son) are practically inseperable. They were born around the same time, so they are the same age. I forget which one is older. Everytime one of them got an idea of something to do he would look at the other and say "Yeah. I got it." Then they'd hop off the couh and go about their bussiness. *sighs and rolls her eyes* I'll update you guys more in a New York minute. My info tech teacher thinks the last three days of school are important. Oh btw Ryojin and them are out of school already!! How unfair is that!? Well...they are a day ahead...Pfft still not fair.

School's Out For The Summer,
SacreD SecreT

P.S: I can't WAIT until OSC

P.P.S: I Love You!

Defective

I think I might be defective because in Math class were doing Slopes and Intercepts for the fiftyith time and I still don't get it. We're having a District Wide Final Exam Thurs-Fri and I'm NOT ready. I think maybe I should just do as my dreams suggested and cheat. NOT! I would never cheat on something this big. Though it is a good idea....lol just kidding. I'm still working of A Touch Of Poison. In my next post I should be ready to give it to you. But we'll find out. I finally get to babysit for Xiao and Yukisora at the same time. I want to see their kids interact together. They haven't seen eacher other in a while so that should be interesting. ^_^ Well I have about ten minutes left of this class and not a whole lot left to say. Its been a good day. I've been getting my Yearbook signed like crazy. How about you? You better get a lot of signatures from the seniors 'cause they ain't comin' back! lolz I love seniors they're fun to talk to. I don't have a lot of senior friends though, more Sophy's (sophmores) instead. Well I'm gonna go now. Peace out Girl Scout!


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

100th And Counting...

This post is supposed to be happy, but I'm not sure it will be. See I've got a lot to say this time and I've been waiting a while to say it. And because I can't say it face to face to all the people I want to say it to at one time I'm going to post it and I'm going to try and not take it back. Alright....

Have you ever listened to someone and then figured out you should have made your own choice? Wanted to take back something that you didn't choose yourself? I've done that a lot. I've changed myself. Given myself a fake smile I can't rip away from, given myself a completely different life in order to fit in because I'm afraid to be myself around anyone. Alone I act differently. When I'm alone I can be everyone I'm not and everything I am. Do you want to know who I am? I would love to tell you.

At School: I'm a retard. I'm only intelligent to people who think they truly know me, people who I've let see a little bit of my light. I'm indecisive and always waiting for someone to make the decisions for me. I'm waiting for people to talk to me, to talk for me. I am never alone, forever clinging to someones arm following someone around waiting for someone to lead me. Around some people I am forever thinking about sex. My mind is gutter and I have nothing better to think about. Some people I'm beautiful, I am vain and I think about myself. To others I am selfless, I think of only others. This is me while I'm in school. What people see me as, in the place I'm supposedly supposed to feel the safest.

At Home: I am a student who doesn't know how to study. I am a singer with an amazing voice and no idea how to use it. I'm stubborn and family oriented. I love every child I see and I might be too trusting. I am an aspiring author and able to go anywhere I want and do anything I wish. With my intellect I can be whatever I want. I know who I am and I show it. I am a loving daughter with paternal issues that need to be solved. I am the miracle of my mothers life and I am the most special person she knows. This is me while I'm in my home. Where I am supposed to be able to be myself.

Around My Family: I am everything they want. I speak only what they want to hear. I dress the way they want and do everything I can to appease them. I do as they ask and revel in doing so. I give kisses and hugs freely. I'm always willing to help and constantly willing to learn. When asked about school I tell them imaginary highlights, the ones they expect and want to hear. I am loving, caring, devoted, beautiful, and happy. The ideal teenage daughter/niece/granddaughter/cousin.

Around My Best Friends Family: I am open and myself. I'm the youngest sister. I'm klutzy, and forgetful. But I'm a wonderful singer, a hopeful lawyer and an intelligent student. On occasion I maybe forgetful of my place but easily rebound. I'm supportive and interesting and annoying and sometimes very to the point. This is who I am around my best friends family.

Around Fange': I'm what she needs. I try to be all that she needs in and a friend and in a sister. I am loyal, I am caring. I'm entertaining and dumb. I'm there for her when she needs to rant, there when she needs to cry and I'm there when she just wants to talk about whatever. Intellectual conversation and retarded banter is what I am here for. This is who I am around one of the most important people in my life.

And you know what? I can't take it anymore. I'm getting my lives mixed up, not to mention the Voices. I don't even want to get started on them yet. Maybe in a later post...because I can't handle them right now. I want to be able to be myself around anyone and everyone. I want to stop hiding behind my many faces and just be me for once. I know I'll probably never get this chance. And through all of my many faces I am a little bit of all of them. But now I want to be all of them combined and if I can't handle the weight of everyone's judgement at once I'll probably just crumble and enclose myself in my mind for the rest of my life. But its a bet I'm willing to participate in. I'm tired of people telling me to be myself and thinking "Yeah Right." I want to be able to actually believe them. Oh gods...I still have so much to say, so I'm going to get the important stuff over with.

Fange: Your the biggest part of my life and probably always will be until I have kids or get married or something. I always put you into the equation when deciding on anything. I know I think about you more than you think about me. I realize how different we actually are and I strive to be everything you need. I understand that I can't be. I love you in every way shape and form. I'm sad that I couldn't tell you this to your face.

I love him. I love him and I don't care how many times we break up, get back together, fight, argue or whatever. I love him. He holds my heart in his hands and I don't care what anyone says about him anymore. He's mine. He's my retarded, ugly, dim-witted, arrogant, loserish, bastard. He's my immature child. He's mine and I don't care. I will utter his name as many times as I want. I will write on the walls. I would scream his name from the highest point on earth. Because I can. Because I want to. Because he's mine. I want to experience everything that every other couple does. I want to be able to be open with my feelings about him to everyone. I want to be accepted because of who I am, and who I love. So with pride, happiness, love, and sincerity do I say: I love Tyler Richard Pappas with all my heart. And If you can't accept that I'm sorry. If you don't want to associate yourself with me anymore because of that, I will forever wonder why I let you dictate my life. So with this do I say farewell until my next post.

Oh...and if you don't like what I have to say...I suggest you get your own blog and voice your own opinions about whatever the hell you like. I don't like flamers (haters, people who are mean) so please don't come to me and tell me how stupid you think I am. I don't need that.


Till We Meet Again,
Sacred Secret


P.S: This entire post was a secret. What more do you want from me? What more can I offer?

P.P.S: I'm smiling right now, because my body is heavy with a sorrow that tells me if I try...I will be crying later on tonight.