New York: Day 4

I didn't go to sleep until five last night.

Today was sort of hectic in a smooth kind of way. If that makes any sense. I didn't really do much reading. But it was so cool that I finally got to wear pants. (my favorites actually) It was wonderful. I had decided I was going to go outside, when my phone decided to have a seizure. That lasted four hours. After a thorough panic session and some consulting, I dragged both of my aunts, my youngest cousin, and our little guest (she's two, three in may.) down to the Sprint store. Where I waited for another two hours (they kept skipping my name for some reason) for the to do a hard reset on my phone, erasing everything. The hard reset? It took ten minutes. Yeah. Oh! And it was also free. Except for I paid in two hours and ten minutes of my life. Anyway! After getting my phone fixed, my aunt and our little guest decided we'd walk back home. (the store wasn't far) And on the way back I bought some much needed head scarves. And I Bought some video games. Fable 2 and Fable 3. I had them once before, but I sold them...for a silly reason. Now I have them back, and tomorrow I hope to be able to hunt down Mortal Kombat. Which out here is $22 and in WA its still $45 for some stupid reason. Yes, the pre-owned one. Crazy, I know. Well, when we finally returned home I chowed down a Velveeta noodle cup and watched Law & Order SVU with my family until they decided to go to bed. After that, I was on the phone with my Sweetness until I convinced her to go to bed. And now. I'm sitting here, journaling my day. So today, overall, wasn't so bad. I let my emotions get control of me earlier. I regret that. I don't like being so dependent on my phone. I understand that because I am in a new place, far from my home, I need something to connect me. But that isn't the only reason. I can also use it for GPS, which in the described setting, is very handy.

I haven't started my period yet. Which is weird, but probably due to all the stress of moving around.I know that you all didn't need to know that, but I told you anyway. Ha!

As the days pass, it is getting easier and easier for me to loosen up and ease my mind into a state of relaxation. However, I have noticed that the exact opposite is true for Sweetness. I can't help but wonder why that is. Of course, there are multiple reasons. But I just can't seem to figure out why. I keep turning it over and  over in my mind. What can I do to help? How can I make this easier for her? What can I say to make her see? Nothing ever comes up though. Only the things I've already said. Just things I've already done. And it saddens me to not be able to help aid her in her journey.

Although, a realization occurred just now. Maybe I can't. I cannot help her and that is why we are failing to figure out how to do it. She must do it on her own without me. If I help her, then she will continue to be dependent on me for her answers. I must teach her, by not teaching her, to look to herself and her resources for answers. This...is an extremely difficult lesson. And I'm not sure I will be able to teach it. Also, it could be that I am incorrect. I am very sleepy so it could be nonsensical rambling.

In other news, I went to Fulton Mall. It's not small, but its not huge. There's a Marshalls, Target, Victoria's Secret, Children's Place, Gap, yada yada yada. The same stuff you find in regular malls. I snapped a few pictures, but not many. I'm not a very good tourist photographer, and the only thing that keeps me clicking is "How am I going to explain this to Sweetness?" If I can't think of a way to describe it accurately, I take a picture. So they are few and far between. Though I will admit that some of them are very random with little purpose.

My back hurts...and I and sleepy. Hopefully I will be able to post something more relevant tomorrow. My apologies.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: Research Ageplay if you get the chance. I, personally, find it to be quite fascinating.