Day 3 - Parents

Sorry it's a little late I know.

Dear Mom and Dad,
You guys…I don’t even know what to say really. So I guess I’ll do it in two parts.

Mom, You’re the greatest. Despite my hurtness of being neglected over the baby, I still definitely love you. I just don’t want everything to be about him. Even though I completely understand. It’s just that sometimes I want things to be like they used to be. Normal. Me and you. Just the two of us alone in the world working on life the best we can. I miss that. I know you’ve grown into a better, happier person because of the changes that have tugged us apart. But my inner selfishness can’t let go of my want for all that back. I really love how you’ve grown though. And I wouldn’t want you to go back into unhappiness for anything. You know me, I hate change. So I’ll get used to it eventually. And I’m really trying to curb my brat like instincts to pull you back and scream “She’s MY mom!” oh geez, it’s difficult. You just don’t understand. But meditation helps me get into swing with new stuff. It’s just been hard to find a quiet moment by myself recently. I’ll get around to it though. I love you, thanks for all you’ve done.

Dad, I’m still stuck on what to say. I mean really…what can I say? We don’t have a relationship. You barely know what grade I’m in and if it weren’t for my mom, you wouldn’t know I’m graduating this year. To be honest, I loathed you for the longest time. Because you abandoned me and my mom to go live with that witch you don’t even like. She makes you depressed I can hear it in your voice and my mom has told me. I can’t see our non-relationship changing anytime soon. In my mind it’s too late for all that. But I try to be a forgiving person. Just…quit lying to me. It’s not helping at all. Don’t make promises you can’t or won’t keep. Don’t tell me you’re going to buy me a plane ticket or a laptop or a damn sweater and then not do it. No “I’ma send you a picture of your brother and me.” And then no picture, no card, no Hey Fuck Off. Whatever man. I’m through with you. Animosity isn’t my style but you cramp me. Ugh.

Love,
SacredSecret