New York: Day 11

A thunder storm woke me up at 9am.

At first, I was completely confused and disoriented. I sat straight up in my bed and looked around. Thunder rolled overhead, lightening flashed in the sky. I glanced outside and couldn't help but grin. Today, would be a good day.

I didn't really eat anything this morning. I waited until about one to have a bowl of cereal. The little guest is here again, she was wearing an adorable little ruffled dress with Hawaiian flowers all over it. She makes me miss my Pooka so much! She's asleep right now, on my bed. They'll move her eventually, so I'm not worried.

I read until I got stir crazy. I went downstairs and my cousin and the little guest followed me and we went to the park. There's a pop-up piano in the park, and a little water play area. My cousin really seems to enjoy playing the piano, so I didn't mind walking down there to listen to her play. Her favorite is "In The End" by Linkin Park. She only knows the beginning, and she can't read music so she can't learn the rest. I sincerely hope that she continues to nurture her love of music. It would sadden me greatly is she cast it aside.

We wandered around for a while before the little guest got tired. So we made our way back home and I took a nap. I don't know if she took a nap too, but when I woke up, I assumed that she did.

This is the part of the recap that irritates me the most. Beware my possible use of foul language. Anyway, I was sitting here, minding my own business when my aunt looks over and says "Your scalp needs to be greased." So, she begins greasing my head. Not that I usually mind, but I wasn't really given a choice which annoyed me. She then proceeds to critique how I take care of my hair. Saying "You need to grease it twice a week." "Your head is dry" "You gotta realize that you have black hair."

Excuse me? I have to "realize"? I'm twenty years old. I've been taking care of my hair by myself for a long time. I know what it does. I know that it needs grease. But I can't grease it myself, for one thing, for another thing, no matter how much grease I put on it it will always be dry. I have dandruff. It runs in the WHITE SIDE of my family. I think you need to realize that I am half white. My hair may look like yours but it is dramatically different. Don't tell me what to do with my hair. I appreciate your input but please, shove it. 

Another thing that pisses me off. This "tough love" bullshit. One of my aunts is very blunt and impatient. She doesn't suffer fools. But a child? A two year old little girl? I don't understand why they want to treat a child of two like an adult. Children do not have the capacity for higher thoughts like we do. Their minds are still developing. When you yell at a young child, that child automatically begins to blame themselves for your anger. Whatever is wrong with you is their fault. They can't conceptualize everyday problems and they have very short term memories. Much like dogs, they won't remember what they did for very long after they do it.

Screaming at them will not bring back their memories. And I will always, be firmly against violence as a "discipline". I understand smacking their hand. I understand a firm grasp on their arm or shoulder to get their attention. But shaking? Spanking? Threats to beat them? That I don't understand. Now, I don't want you to think that I have recently witnessed any of these things, I'm just telling you what I think is wrong. Opinion. Not fact. It's just what I think.
It irritates me to no end. But I feel like I'm in Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty. A higher slave that doesn't get yelled at but is in no position to change the fates of others. I can only help myself by keeping myself out of trouble. I can advise the others gently, but ultimately it is their decision. Ultimately, it is their choice. Anyway, I don't like it. But they aren't my kids. I have no say in what happens to them or how they are treated. But my heart breaks...it breaks.

Later, we went on another walk, in the rain, to get dinner. Just my dinner I guess, which I didn't have to pay for. So that's cool. The cheesecake was pretty good. Sweeter than sin, but good. I liked the little candy pieces sprinkled on top.

As we walked back, the thunder and lightning came back. The lightning lit up the sky like the day! It exploded across the darkened sky and split into hundreds of bright white sparks. Moments later, thunder roared. It silenced the world as if the gods were having a shouting match and they wanted us to know. The rain came down on us gently, despite the fight happening in the sky. It seemed to be apologizing. I smiled into the night, as my family looked at me questioningly. None of them understand my love for the rain. My youngest cousin asked me a million questions about Seattle and its weather patterns. She asked me if I owned an umbrella. I said yes, but I never use it.  She was extremely confused about this. I could only laugh.

Now I'm sitting here, while they watch TV, I'll probably go back to reading pretty soon. I love you guys! Sweetness! Mom! Pooka! Nightmare! I miss all of you guys so much! And I can't wait to see you! :) Love you!

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: My back is going to be sincerely messed up when I get back due to this damn bed lol