Update Status

First off, I glimpsed Internet yesterday. lol Very sad I know. Anyway.

Last Good Book I Read: Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

Latest Happy Song: Paper Planes by M.I.A (karaoke by HOPE BALES! lol)

Current Bane of My Existence: English Homework

Last Time I Felt Sexy: Yesterday

My New Goal: I WANT ABS.

Reason I Come To School n Thursdays: French Club (EVERY WEEK who needs to be an officer?)

And now a message inspired by Hope Bales.

"Hope Bales sits next to me typing up her 'Huckfinn' essay frantically as it is due fifth period. She occasionally exclaims "FUCK! fuckfuckfuckfuck!" And becomes seriously agitated. Taking frequent gulps of water from her peculiarly shaped water bottle (seriously. PADLOCK), she giggles over my should as I type about her. She then states "I should make a blog, connect it to yours, and then we can have like blog-wars and debate about stuff." As I watch her procrastinate this essay even now, she tells me how much she often does this. Saying "I should win an award for procrastination. Of course, I'll never get it cause I'll never apply. It'll be like 'I need to apply for that'" she then goes on to say, "Which is like the philosophy of my life." As the end of the period nears, and hovers above Hope Bales's head, she becomes overly retarded and begins typing crazily as she nears the final moments of her essay. Reaching the end of it she takes a breath of relief and in that moment....her head explodes. Spraying me with the guts and knowledge of Hope Bales. May her mind rest in peace(es) lol"

Okay! And that's first period with Hope Bales today. hahaha, how does your first period go?

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

"For you, a thousand times over."

For you, a thousand times over.

Over, and over, and over.

My heart bleeds for you once.

And then tears.

Then I bleed again.

More tears.

The once more.

Another waterfall.

What you don't see is my secret pining.

How I wish so desperately, that you would see how much I've changed.

Wish that you would just look and imagine, and want to try.

How can you be sure this change occurred?

You can't, I suppose.

You would just have to reach out in blind faith.

And trust me again.

Which, as I understand, would be unfair.

So I completely understand, if you don't want to.

I understand my mistakes.

My faults.

My flaws.

What I have done to hurt you.

And I changed because of it.

I changed for you, because of you.

Hn.

Not that it matters now.

But always, I will bleed for you.

Anything, for you.

Shed tears of bitter happiness and miserable sadness for you.

For you, a thousand times over.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

Internet Loss

Typing up my thoughts on random computers with available Internet seems so...wrong. Understand? It's just not right. Not sitting in front of MY computer seems to cease my thoughts all together. I find it extremely hard to push forth the words even now. As I sit contemplatively at the computer in North Hill's office. With their secretary reading awkwardly over my shoulder. lol It's very weird. Not a happy place for my inner thoughts. I can't WAIT until I have Internet again. Until I can resume my WebComic readings, beating people up on Facebook, complaining on MySpace, and being a grammar nazi on Gaia. I miss it so much. SO much. But alas, I can only access so much through these school computers. Since places like facebook, gaia, myspace, and youtube are all on a "Global Block List". Really rather unfortunate. Oh well. Maybe someday, I will tour the unadulterated world of the Internet unhindered once more. Until then...


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

A Tale Of Unfortunate Events

Wow. That's all I've got really. I can't say more, unless I want to become that horrible person I strive so hard to go against. I do not, want to be that person. I don't want to be the person that is looked at as "selfish" or "bitchy" or other unpleasantness. I want to be the person you can lean on and tell your darkest secrets to. I want to be the person who can make you forget all of your troubles and worries. Take them onto myself and fix your whole world. That's what I want.

However.

This isn't going to happen.

I will never be the one to shelter you from the rain.

Never be the one to hold you close for warmth and comfort.

Never be the one to wipe away your tears and tell you not to fret because I'm going to fix it all.

I'm not good enough to be that person.

Apparently, I didn't pick the right numbers. I lost the lotto and I can't go back.

So I'm going to give up, and whatever happens from here is just...meant. I guess. Because I don't want to continue to be stepped on and dragged through the mud. I don't want to do things with you that I hate. I don't want to tell you things that aren't true just because you want to hear them. I'm not going to stop doing things just because you don't like it. I'm not going to agree because it makes you feel better. I'm going to tell you the truth.

Of course, every once in a while, my merciful nature will come into play.

It will cease my harsher words and create soothing ones for me to whisper to you. To ease your distress and heartache. IT will come in and whisper over my lips and onto your skin like a soothing balm. But I will reign myself in. I have been too long your carpet. I have been your pet too often. The roles must switch if they will not be played correctly.

Now.

I'm going to try and pursue something worthwhile. Something I want.

I want to be a model. I want to see Celtic Women in concert. I want to go o the mall with my friends. I want someone I can trust to accept me for who I am and what I do. What I want. What I need. I want to get as much as I give.

"It is better to be hurt by the truth, than comforted by a lie."

I'm unveiling the truth.

And it burns me.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

Bless the courteous and considerate! :)

Ramblings 1

I learned about Active Voice in World Lit. today.
Really interesting stuff that.
Also, an EXTREMELY difficult skill to master.
Apparently, Active Voice does not allow you to use "is", "have", "to be", or "are".
Words such as these weaken your writing.
These words make you appear uncertain about your point.
Which is completely unacceptable.
So, I will continue to practice this valuable skill.
Of course, this blog holds compilations of my thoughts, so I may not always post in Active Voice.
However, I will try.

Anyway.

"The girl with the Tokidoki bag, with sharpies shoved head down in their pocket and the little iconic figures swinging lazily from their silver chain, plodded slowly down the stairs before me. As my foot hits the bottom floor I dart toward the glass double doors serving as my exit. Sunshine blinds me as I step outside, momentarily embraced by the emitted warmth. However my advancing steps carry me farther into the courtyard and the cold wintry air slides against my skin like an old lover. Eager, impatient, startling. I shiver against it and step onto the bus awaiting my arrival. Tossing my bag into the seat, I slide in after and tuck my knees up to my chest, resting them lightly against the seat preceding mine. Before the others can manage to sit down, I crack open my latest reading material, pop in my headphones and prepare for the thirty minute ride home."

How was that? I think it sounds alright. Of course, I haven't read it yet. Cause I just wrote it and I never reread immediately after writing. I dunno why. Just don't. Of course, spell check is necessary. But that's different. Don't you think? Well, now I have ramen and I don't need you anymore. lol j/k

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

I have to write a poem for school. Soon as i left my classroom, they flooded me. Swamped my mind making me mentally gasp for breath. So it shouldn't be hard.

I swear! The kids at my school wear the WEIRDEST shit!