Nozoic

School is weird, and I'm going back today. I have to be there at 7:30. So not long from now. I'm barely awake. But awake enough to be writing this. I think my brain is going to die. I can't keep this "wake up at 6 and go to sleep at 10" thing for much longer. It hurts my insomnia. My body craves the moon and I forever want to stay up and watch its slow yet beautiful dance across the midnight sky. Where this giant pale ball calls to me as it floats carelessly amongst the stars. Where I so desperately long to be. Sometimes I think about joining them. The stars I mean. Just so I can be around the moon. Have conversations with other stars that know about it. I know you don't understand me right now but just keep reading okay? I think if I ever had to go to counseling my mom would have to pay a lot for the extra time I would spend there just for the hell of being with someone I know I can talk to for hour(s). When I think about going to a counselor though I can't help but think that they won't understand me at all. That they'll just nod and smile and pretend their listening and then I'll go back for another session and ask them a question and they'll be like "Oh well, last time didn't really count. And I had so much on my mind blah blah blah." Then I would have to leave. I would have to walk out. My mom would have wasted her money and then I would be without someone to talk to....Again. Still I can't help but wonder if I'm the only one in the world who can live without speaking to anyone and simply observing. I know this would be pretty hard at first but I think I can do it. This part of the blog is just the thoughts that pop into my head so bear with me. I don't understand why people are so greedy. It just doesn't make sense. Why fight and demand and be a backstabber just so you can have that spiffy iPod Nano? It's not even that cool. I find it quite ridiculous. But then again...so are a lot of things. I guess I'll go now... I'm gonna go eat some Golden Puff cereal....

"I find it kind of funny. I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."

Sacred Secret