Pssst!!!

Hey dude! Its snowing! In December! Holy cow! No really like, its snowing. We've had late start all week, yesterday school was closed. Today was late start then it started snowing hella hard and everybody went home. HAHAHA its awesome! Anyway, I figured I'd post again 'cause I have some time and nothing to do yet. I can't wait until Christmas, by the way. Its gonna be awesome. GIFTS. To be given! And gotten I'm sure but I'm not excited about those anymore. I want to show give gifts and see faces. YES! Its gonna be awesome. Now I have gifts for all the important people. My mom, Hito,Fange', John, Tyler, Lafa.* Everyone. All is well. ^_^ I'm excited!!! WOOHOO! I'm thinking that my gifts won't be as cool as other gifts but its the thought that counts right? MHM! I'm excited excited excited!!! I hope I'll be able to make it to Fange's this weekend. Cross your fingers!! Well I'm just here to tell you about the snow. Maybe I can get inspired today and look to a deeply neglected Cael. (SORRY! :( ) yup yup. See what I can do. So much free time, don't know what to do with myself. Keep it chill.

Bada bah bah bah!,
Sacred Secret

To Be

To be loved again.
Wanted again.
Remember what that feels like?
Warm arms wrap around you
Tender embraces
Fond memories
Someone to lean on in times of need.
To be wanted again.
To be loved again.
If only for a night.
Wouldn’t have to pay
For the acceptance I yearn for

It isn’t to be.
I’ve cursed myself to this.
No one to blame but my own calling
Now they all have fallen.
Those who called me by my name
Now lay in separate graves.
Those who call me now are whores.
Who want nothing more than coin.
Those I pay on the coldest nights
Have no name with which to turn my head

Every sigh I draw
Each moan and ragged panting
Scrapes raw at my soul
Lending me no breath of my own
Though my body strains and relaxes
Stress eased for a time
The weight upon my shoulders
Only grows heavier.
With no one to share this burden
I walk.
Guarding the world I once walked in.

Long ago I cursed myself
Blinded by pride, and greed
I experienced agony.
Watching those I have always loved
Fall into nothingness
Wither into dust.
Each member of my family,
Every woman I have ever taken into my heart.
Gone.
Forever alone I wander
Holding myself at a distance
From those who would hold me.
I will not make that mistake again.

When I walk this earth again
Among the living,
Among my friends
I will have proven I am capable
Of learning
Of trying.
I can understand mercy
And sacrifice.
I have learned pain and defeat.
Over the long years I have learned.
I am only One.
Against Many.
Though I may be strong
Perhaps fast and intelligent
There is always one better.
I must work.
Work to be better and learn.

When I may walk again
I hope to find my soul.
Wish to find the one who holds it
And die one day.
Surrounded by loved ones.
To be the one buried instead of the one to
Bury.

To be loved again.
Wanted again.
Do you remember what that feels like?

Remember?,

Sacred Secret