Hey guys! How's it goin? Been a while right. Summer is almost over and its really exciting. How was your summer? Hopefully more exciting than mine. haha I didn't do a whole lot. Nothing really amazing happened that I can think of right now. Uhmmmmz....I gotta type up a lot of short stories and poems that got neglected during the school year that I just haven't gotten around to in the summer. Procrastination is a horrible thing kids! haha anyway, I dont know what to talk about anymore. Sooo...maybe I'll post some Random Thoughts later. Peace out flowers!
TWMA,
Sacred Secret
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
So here it is.
Welcome, my friends, to this final summer. This final wave of "I'm going to school next year." The last summer where you can turn to your school mates and say "See you next year!" This is it. We're almost done. I hope I'll see you there. At the end of the road, when everything is said and done. This upcoming year is going to bring challenges that we could not imagine. But also new experiences, saddened days, happy memories. So lets hear it for Senior Year. Let's congratulate the Seniors long gone, Good Luck in the world! Gain knowledge for us and have helpful advice to hand out when we reach that point. Hooray! For Senior Year! For the last leg of the race! The final lap! Hooray! Time for relaxation and fun. Time for parties and final final exams. Time for you to start appreciating how much you really loved your high school. Memorize your fight song. Show more spirit than anyone else. It's your school now. Officially, you are the oldest, strongest, most powerful force on campus. You Are A Senior. A formidable force. But in your head-spinning new amount of power, remember how you were as an underclassmen and pay attention to the younger kids coming in as Freshmen. Make it a goal to be nicer to them than your Seniors were. Be kind, they are just as frightened and cocky and stupid as you were. They know just as much. And will do just as many stupid and immature things as you. So be patient with them, give them advice. Even if they don't ask for it. Because they'll listen. Whether it looks like they are or not. Be Cool, Class Of 2010. We've got this in the bag. So raise your heads high! And strut your new found stuff! We've only got 180 days to flaunt and brag and hit kids up-side the head! So tell off that teacher you hate. Kick that garbage can. Write on that window. Do it. But be cool about it. And when you are finished. Look back on that year and think....
"This is my life, am I who I want to be?"
2010, Here We Go Again,
Sacred Secret
"This is my life, am I who I want to be?"
2010, Here We Go Again,
Sacred Secret
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Thoughts #1
*Disclaimer: Yes. I wrote this. No, I don't know what it means so don't ask. I don't know who it pertains to, so don't guess. It's just writing. Read it.*
In all the time I've taken to bring you home to me I've only found that I'm falling more in love with you.
I've got to let you go so I can breathe.
Let me be addicted, but let me escape your orbital pull.
I'm just a moon searching for a planet.
I've gotten caught on a few but gravity pulled us a part.
I wish there was a way to defy.
Nature. Society. Nature. Society.
Bring it down on itself. Bring it down.
Let the creatures of this place dwell without the fear I know you hold.
Somewhere deep inside me is a song I can't sing. I'm waiting for you to shout it out loud.
Let me breathe and rid myself of this addiction to your blood.
Your soul.
Voice. Eyes. Kindness.
Nature. Society. Nature. Society.
Bring it down on itself. Bring it down.
Down. Down.
Bring it down.
Like a bucket of air cause I'm drowning in here.
Give me a needle to relieve this pressure.
Building in my chest.
Its hurting. Not helping.
In this hour of sin.
Can we forget where we're going, where we're from, where we've been?
Let's focus on now cause I'm in your pull.
Spinning, spinning, spinning.
If I stop my top will drop.
Ending it all but I guess that's good.
So put your finger on it ans stop me.
Bring it down on itself. Bring it down.
TWMA,
Sacred_Secret
In all the time I've taken to bring you home to me I've only found that I'm falling more in love with you.
I've got to let you go so I can breathe.
Let me be addicted, but let me escape your orbital pull.
I'm just a moon searching for a planet.
I've gotten caught on a few but gravity pulled us a part.
I wish there was a way to defy.
Nature. Society. Nature. Society.
Bring it down on itself. Bring it down.
Let the creatures of this place dwell without the fear I know you hold.
Somewhere deep inside me is a song I can't sing. I'm waiting for you to shout it out loud.
Let me breathe and rid myself of this addiction to your blood.
Your soul.
Voice. Eyes. Kindness.
Nature. Society. Nature. Society.
Bring it down on itself. Bring it down.
Down. Down.
Bring it down.
Like a bucket of air cause I'm drowning in here.
Give me a needle to relieve this pressure.
Building in my chest.
Its hurting. Not helping.
In this hour of sin.
Can we forget where we're going, where we're from, where we've been?
Let's focus on now cause I'm in your pull.
Spinning, spinning, spinning.
If I stop my top will drop.
Ending it all but I guess that's good.
So put your finger on it ans stop me.
Bring it down on itself. Bring it down.
TWMA,
Sacred_Secret
Thursday, May 28, 2009
So Often
Its been a while. I just wanted to let you know I'm alive and working on something new! Fange' knows. And if I can get Perspective's email address....he will know too. But We'll see. I've noticed recently that life is easier if you're not IN it. Its waaaaay easier to stand on the sidelines and watch other people kick their feelings and hearts around. Of course, much like a train wreck, its hard to look away. Harder still not to groan in sympathy pain when somebody gets kneed in the jewels. You know what I mean?
Summer summer summer tiimmeee....
TWMA,
Sacred Secret
Summer summer summer tiimmeee....
TWMA,
Sacred Secret
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
In The End Its All Fiction
“And after everything we’ve been through…after all that I’ve done and all that you’ve said…this is it?” My hands were trembling, my throat going dry while my eyes started to sting with unshed tears. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I needed to though. My mind needed what he was saying to be reinforced. He could only look down at his shiny red Jordans and shrug. I hated him for it, his indecisive head bowing. But you fell in love with that... I thought, the words whispering in my mind. Reminding me that I had, though I didn’t want to admit it, fallen in love with him. Ha! A little late now! He looked at me then, lifting his chocolate brown eyes to mine. I saw what looked like unsure, almost unstable resolve in his eyes. In his mind, he was set to do this. To end this relationship in which he obviously felt was one sided. I couldn’t hold his gaze. Couldn’t look him in the eye knowing that this…this tragic moment…this blunt ending was my fault. I had brought this on myself and it was not within my power to bring it back. I’d fucked up with him.
He was done.
My hand reached up and clasped the blood red garnet handing from around my neck. Who got that for you? I could feel his mood switch to angry as I played with the fragile chain. He noticed I hadn’t worn anything he’d gotten me. Honestly, that would bother me too. Since he wore the cologne I bought him everyday, and made it a point to let me know he still wore it. Even now, as the light summer breeze brushed past me, his scent was still heavy with it. The reason I hadn’t worn the necklace…or the ring, especially the ring, was because I was afraid of losing them, or breaking them. I had bad experiences with jewelry and didn’t want to have to tell him I lost the gorgeous ring and accidently snapped the thin gold chain. But communication was never our strong point, so I guess he thought I just didn’t like them. I fisted my hand around the little gem, and tugged gently in anxiousness. I had to force myself to drop my hand away. This is exactly why you can’t have nice things. I scolded myself and glanced up at him. His eyes and turned molten, churning with an unseen anger an unreleased sorrow. I wanted then to wrap my arms around him and shelter myself in his arms, but the way he was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at me said he wouldn’t have it. I bit my lip. It was really over, and there was nothing I could do to sweep it under the rug. I looked back down and studied the grass. Some ants were dragging a wasp to their nest and I shuddered, looking away. Gross.
When he finally spoke, I flinched his words startling me. “Come on, I’ll take you home.” I snapped my head up, my eyes searching his. I wasn’t ready to leave yet. I was still trying to figure out how to make this right. Not yet! Let me stall a little longer, please! But he was already walking toward his car across the beach parking lot. The gold paint glinted in the sunlight, waiting for me like a hellish carriage. Ready to drag me down. I reached out for him, and grabbed his sleeve, making him pause. “What?” he growled, his tone harsh. “Can we…make one more round first? I’m not ready.” He took a moment to debate if he wanted to walk up and down the beach with me again.
The verdict was positive.
He turned around and watched me for a second, then took off running toward the sand. Confused, I ran after him. Our feet spitting up sand and rock behind us. He was pulling his shirt off and letting it fly behind him, followed by his shoes and socks. I took the hint, pulling off my shirt and shoes as well. As his undershirt finally hit the sand he was already diving into the water, I was right behind him. The water was cold against my skin as a dove deep beneath its surface. Memories swamped me as the water swept my hair back behind me and tightened my jeans to my legs. We had spent so many summers here, swimming, playing volleyball, having bonfires, and just walking along the water at midnight. When I finally came up for air, he was floating there in front of me. “You remember all the time we spent here?” He smiled, obviously enjoying the memories. I nodded and pushed some of my hair away from my face.
He swam closer and I knew if I was standing, my legs would have given out. He put his hand to my cheek and brushed his thumb over my lips, holding my eyes with his. I didn’t speak, didn’t move, didn’t look away from him as he slid his hand into my hair. I felt his fingers curl into it and fist at the back of my skull, a tight grip on my hair. No pain. His pulled my head back firmly, a steady weight pulling my hair back into the water. Gasping, I bared my throat to him, he held me in that position for a moment before kissing my neck softly. We stayed there for a moment, suspended in the water like photographs, his lips pressed to my neck, my hands clutching his shirt and my nails digging into his shoulders. What should have lasted an eternity only lasted seconds. He let me go, smiled that adorably sexy smile and dove under me, apparently finished. Sighing, I retreated under the water as well and let loose a painful scream that would scare someone outside of the water.
He didn’t hear.
When we resurfaced and gathered our clothes, we walked back to his car and he drove me home. It wasn’t a quiet ride, with his stereo blasting Eminem and T-Pain, with the windows down and the wind whipping past. My hair was almost dry when he pulled into my driveway, my mom’s little car waiting in the slanted drive. “See you.” He said as I got out and grabbed my backpack from the backseat. “Yeah..see you.” I mumbled, closing the door softly. As I made my way to the front door, he pulled out and returned his music to its maximum volume. I watched from the porch as he drove out of the cul-de-sac. I stood there in the summer heat, water still dripping down my legs, until I couldn’t hear the bass of his music anymore. When it was quiet again, I slipped inside and stayed there for the rest of the summer. That three months wasn’t nearly long enough..
TWMA
He was done.
My hand reached up and clasped the blood red garnet handing from around my neck. Who got that for you? I could feel his mood switch to angry as I played with the fragile chain. He noticed I hadn’t worn anything he’d gotten me. Honestly, that would bother me too. Since he wore the cologne I bought him everyday, and made it a point to let me know he still wore it. Even now, as the light summer breeze brushed past me, his scent was still heavy with it. The reason I hadn’t worn the necklace…or the ring, especially the ring, was because I was afraid of losing them, or breaking them. I had bad experiences with jewelry and didn’t want to have to tell him I lost the gorgeous ring and accidently snapped the thin gold chain. But communication was never our strong point, so I guess he thought I just didn’t like them. I fisted my hand around the little gem, and tugged gently in anxiousness. I had to force myself to drop my hand away. This is exactly why you can’t have nice things. I scolded myself and glanced up at him. His eyes and turned molten, churning with an unseen anger an unreleased sorrow. I wanted then to wrap my arms around him and shelter myself in his arms, but the way he was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at me said he wouldn’t have it. I bit my lip. It was really over, and there was nothing I could do to sweep it under the rug. I looked back down and studied the grass. Some ants were dragging a wasp to their nest and I shuddered, looking away. Gross.
When he finally spoke, I flinched his words startling me. “Come on, I’ll take you home.” I snapped my head up, my eyes searching his. I wasn’t ready to leave yet. I was still trying to figure out how to make this right. Not yet! Let me stall a little longer, please! But he was already walking toward his car across the beach parking lot. The gold paint glinted in the sunlight, waiting for me like a hellish carriage. Ready to drag me down. I reached out for him, and grabbed his sleeve, making him pause. “What?” he growled, his tone harsh. “Can we…make one more round first? I’m not ready.” He took a moment to debate if he wanted to walk up and down the beach with me again.
The verdict was positive.
He turned around and watched me for a second, then took off running toward the sand. Confused, I ran after him. Our feet spitting up sand and rock behind us. He was pulling his shirt off and letting it fly behind him, followed by his shoes and socks. I took the hint, pulling off my shirt and shoes as well. As his undershirt finally hit the sand he was already diving into the water, I was right behind him. The water was cold against my skin as a dove deep beneath its surface. Memories swamped me as the water swept my hair back behind me and tightened my jeans to my legs. We had spent so many summers here, swimming, playing volleyball, having bonfires, and just walking along the water at midnight. When I finally came up for air, he was floating there in front of me. “You remember all the time we spent here?” He smiled, obviously enjoying the memories. I nodded and pushed some of my hair away from my face.
He swam closer and I knew if I was standing, my legs would have given out. He put his hand to my cheek and brushed his thumb over my lips, holding my eyes with his. I didn’t speak, didn’t move, didn’t look away from him as he slid his hand into my hair. I felt his fingers curl into it and fist at the back of my skull, a tight grip on my hair. No pain. His pulled my head back firmly, a steady weight pulling my hair back into the water. Gasping, I bared my throat to him, he held me in that position for a moment before kissing my neck softly. We stayed there for a moment, suspended in the water like photographs, his lips pressed to my neck, my hands clutching his shirt and my nails digging into his shoulders. What should have lasted an eternity only lasted seconds. He let me go, smiled that adorably sexy smile and dove under me, apparently finished. Sighing, I retreated under the water as well and let loose a painful scream that would scare someone outside of the water.
He didn’t hear.
When we resurfaced and gathered our clothes, we walked back to his car and he drove me home. It wasn’t a quiet ride, with his stereo blasting Eminem and T-Pain, with the windows down and the wind whipping past. My hair was almost dry when he pulled into my driveway, my mom’s little car waiting in the slanted drive. “See you.” He said as I got out and grabbed my backpack from the backseat. “Yeah..see you.” I mumbled, closing the door softly. As I made my way to the front door, he pulled out and returned his music to its maximum volume. I watched from the porch as he drove out of the cul-de-sac. I stood there in the summer heat, water still dripping down my legs, until I couldn’t hear the bass of his music anymore. When it was quiet again, I slipped inside and stayed there for the rest of the summer. That three months wasn’t nearly long enough..
TWMA
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sick...?
So I'm sick. As an intermission to my poem and my weird Jesus story/dream. I thought since I'm feeling like death and sitting at the computer listening to music, I should blog. Everything other than me feeling like shit is good. there isn't a whole lot to tell you...if you give a shit, Tyler is dating Abby. .... Yeah thats what I said. But its all good. They're...happy. So thats all that matters. I was typing with one hand for a while and things were moving really slowly.
Its WASL week, in other news. And I don't have to get up until 930 (technically) 'cause school starts, for me, at 10. But I went today at normal time (its an option) and wandered around until I ran into a friend and we ended up in the Ceramics room with another friend. We made dumb stuff and *crosses fingers* hopefully they'll get fired. ^_^ That was fun, and tomorrow I'll probably go in at the same time to do it again. 'Cause it was really fun. How did your past weekend go? I don't want to talk about mine. What are you doing next weekend? Thats cool...Uh....The song I'm listening to right now is;
"1,2,3,4" by the Plain White T's.
Normally, I can't stand them. But its an alright song. And I had to see what the hype was about. Well I guess, I'll go now and maybe lie down or something. Ugh....
Twma,
Sacred Secret
Its WASL week, in other news. And I don't have to get up until 930 (technically) 'cause school starts, for me, at 10. But I went today at normal time (its an option) and wandered around until I ran into a friend and we ended up in the Ceramics room with another friend. We made dumb stuff and *crosses fingers* hopefully they'll get fired. ^_^ That was fun, and tomorrow I'll probably go in at the same time to do it again. 'Cause it was really fun. How did your past weekend go? I don't want to talk about mine. What are you doing next weekend? Thats cool...Uh....The song I'm listening to right now is;
"1,2,3,4" by the Plain White T's.
Normally, I can't stand them. But its an alright song. And I had to see what the hype was about. Well I guess, I'll go now and maybe lie down or something. Ugh....
Twma,
Sacred Secret
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Telephone 1
I was sitting on the couch sippin' a dry martini, and watchin some dumb horror movie on T.V, You know the ones where all the women are stupid and the men die? Yeah. Anyway, watchin T.V when the phone rings. -RING RING RING- Thanks. So, I glance over at the caller ID and it says 'Calling...Home.' Sighing, I picked it up and expected my mother to launch into some crazy rant about how my socks are always dirty or something. With my eyes trying to see my brain I spoke into the receiver my reluctant greeting; "Hello?"
"Hey, Kris. How're you doing?"
I pulled the phone away from my ear, placed a hand over the speaker, and looked down at the Caller ID again. It said 'Connected...Home.' It shifted looks between the ID and the receiver as though one of them was lying to me. I didn't know who this guy was, or how he got my number but it was freakin' me out. He sounded like he could be my older brother if I had one. I reconnected my ear to the phone, still watching the ID to reassure myself it stayed on 'Home'.
"Who is this?"
"Will you believe me if I tell you?"
I rolled my eyes. "Well it depends on who you think you are."
"To be honest, I know my name and I know who I am. I'm calling to answer your questions though so, My name is Jesus."
It couldn't help it, laughter exploded from me and I almost spilled my martini. It was a good couple minutes before I could breathe again and reply, "Your name is what? Your not serious!"
"I expected that response. You asked me my name and I told you."
"I didn't want you to lie to me."
"I would never. What reason do I have?"
"I dunno. Prank call?"
"Prank call? I don't have time for prank calls, Kris. How can I prove this to you?"
"What am I thinking right now?"
"Your very confused, nervous, afraid. You think I'm crazy. You think your paranoid. This could never happen. Do they have phones in heaven?"
"Holy shit!...er...sorry about that."
He laughs. "Its alright, I like that one."
So I'm sitting there, blinking with my mouth pulling its own goldfish act. "Wow...Okay so...what did you call for...Sir? Mister? Do I call you My Lord or something?"
He's still snickering on the other end of the phone...wherever the other end was... "Nah, Jesus works, or Son, or whatever. Call me John if you want."
"What about Smithy?" I had just finished playing 'Smithy's Quest' online a while ago.
"If you want."
"Right. Okay, Smithy, what did you call for?"
"You had a question."
"Do you call everyone that has a question?"
"Everybody gets one."
"Okay then...Wait one question or one call?"
"Well obviously you get more than one question."
"Oh."
"So?"
"Okay...Why is the sky blue?"
He sighs and there's some kind of rattling on the other end. "That's a fluke. The atmosphere is really reflective so its mimicking the color of the water."
"Really?"
"Well I'm not lying."
"Right Right. Sorry."
"Its fine. Next? C'mon give me something difficult."
"Does everyone have a soul?"
More rattling, "Yes. Your soul determines where you wind up in the afterlife. Heaven, Hell, Earth, Limbo."
"Shit, there's really a Hell?"
"Wal-Mart exists doesn't it?"
"True..."
TBC....
"Hey, Kris. How're you doing?"
I pulled the phone away from my ear, placed a hand over the speaker, and looked down at the Caller ID again. It said 'Connected...Home.' It shifted looks between the ID and the receiver as though one of them was lying to me. I didn't know who this guy was, or how he got my number but it was freakin' me out. He sounded like he could be my older brother if I had one. I reconnected my ear to the phone, still watching the ID to reassure myself it stayed on 'Home'.
"Who is this?"
"Will you believe me if I tell you?"
I rolled my eyes. "Well it depends on who you think you are."
"To be honest, I know my name and I know who I am. I'm calling to answer your questions though so, My name is Jesus."
It couldn't help it, laughter exploded from me and I almost spilled my martini. It was a good couple minutes before I could breathe again and reply, "Your name is what? Your not serious!"
"I expected that response. You asked me my name and I told you."
"I didn't want you to lie to me."
"I would never. What reason do I have?"
"I dunno. Prank call?"
"Prank call? I don't have time for prank calls, Kris. How can I prove this to you?"
"What am I thinking right now?"
"Your very confused, nervous, afraid. You think I'm crazy. You think your paranoid. This could never happen. Do they have phones in heaven?"
"Holy shit!...er...sorry about that."
He laughs. "Its alright, I like that one."
So I'm sitting there, blinking with my mouth pulling its own goldfish act. "Wow...Okay so...what did you call for...Sir? Mister? Do I call you My Lord or something?"
He's still snickering on the other end of the phone...wherever the other end was... "Nah, Jesus works, or Son, or whatever. Call me John if you want."
"What about Smithy?" I had just finished playing 'Smithy's Quest' online a while ago.
"If you want."
"Right. Okay, Smithy, what did you call for?"
"You had a question."
"Do you call everyone that has a question?"
"Everybody gets one."
"Okay then...Wait one question or one call?"
"Well obviously you get more than one question."
"Oh."
"So?"
"Okay...Why is the sky blue?"
He sighs and there's some kind of rattling on the other end. "That's a fluke. The atmosphere is really reflective so its mimicking the color of the water."
"Really?"
"Well I'm not lying."
"Right Right. Sorry."
"Its fine. Next? C'mon give me something difficult."
"Does everyone have a soul?"
More rattling, "Yes. Your soul determines where you wind up in the afterlife. Heaven, Hell, Earth, Limbo."
"Shit, there's really a Hell?"
"Wal-Mart exists doesn't it?"
"True..."
TBC....
Monday, March 16, 2009
Begin It
Let me tell you this, in words you'll understand.
Where music fails, and pens run dry,
And the keys stick to the board.
When your paint brush busts,
Your charcoal snaps.
Your muse runs from you screaming.
Let me tell you this in wors you'll understand
Cause theres nothing in this word better than
What we've got.
You had it and lost it
I found you there
In the gutter of the City, where no one knows
Your there.
And you needed me so I lent a hand
But you pushed me away,
Said you could stand.
So I watched, and I waited
For you to make your move.
But still you sit there,
Reclined and Recluse.
What can I do?
To mend what they've broken,
Won't you give me that final token?
The gift that will lead me to my Paradise
the field of your heart.
Your soul, that is Light.
Let me find your fountain of tears
and drain it of its sorrow
Let not another teardrop fall
Unless it falls in joy.
Finish It.
Where music fails, and pens run dry,
And the keys stick to the board.
When your paint brush busts,
Your charcoal snaps.
Your muse runs from you screaming.
Let me tell you this in wors you'll understand
Cause theres nothing in this word better than
What we've got.
You had it and lost it
I found you there
In the gutter of the City, where no one knows
Your there.
And you needed me so I lent a hand
But you pushed me away,
Said you could stand.
So I watched, and I waited
For you to make your move.
But still you sit there,
Reclined and Recluse.
What can I do?
To mend what they've broken,
Won't you give me that final token?
The gift that will lead me to my Paradise
the field of your heart.
Your soul, that is Light.
Let me find your fountain of tears
and drain it of its sorrow
Let not another teardrop fall
Unless it falls in joy.
Finish It.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Pssst!!!
Hey dude! Its snowing! In December! Holy cow! No really like, its snowing. We've had late start all week, yesterday school was closed. Today was late start then it started snowing hella hard and everybody went home. HAHAHA its awesome! Anyway, I figured I'd post again 'cause I have some time and nothing to do yet. I can't wait until Christmas, by the way. Its gonna be awesome. GIFTS. To be given! And gotten I'm sure but I'm not excited about those anymore. I want to show give gifts and see faces. YES! Its gonna be awesome. Now I have gifts for all the important people. My mom, Hito,Fange', John, Tyler, Lafa.* Everyone. All is well. ^_^ I'm excited!!! WOOHOO! I'm thinking that my gifts won't be as cool as other gifts but its the thought that counts right? MHM! I'm excited excited excited!!! I hope I'll be able to make it to Fange's this weekend. Cross your fingers!! Well I'm just here to tell you about the snow. Maybe I can get inspired today and look to a deeply neglected Cael. (SORRY! :( ) yup yup. See what I can do. So much free time, don't know what to do with myself. Keep it chill.
Bada bah bah bah!,
Sacred Secret
Bada bah bah bah!,
Sacred Secret
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
To Be
To be loved again.
Wanted again.
Remember what that feels like?
Warm arms wrap around you
Tender embraces
Fond memories
Someone to lean on in times of need.
To be wanted again.
To be loved again.
If only for a night.
Wouldn’t have to pay
For the acceptance I yearn for
It isn’t to be.
I’ve cursed myself to this.
No one to blame but my own calling
Now they all have fallen.
Those who called me by my name
Now lay in separate graves.
Those who call me now are whores.
Who want nothing more than coin.
Those I pay on the coldest nights
Have no name with which to turn my head
Every sigh I draw
Each moan and ragged panting
Scrapes raw at my soul
Lending me no breath of my own
Though my body strains and relaxes
Stress eased for a time
The weight upon my shoulders
Only grows heavier.
With no one to share this burden
I walk.
Guarding the world I once walked in.
Long ago I cursed myself
Blinded by pride, and greed
I experienced agony.
Watching those I have always loved
Fall into nothingness
Wither into dust.
Each member of my family,
Every woman I have ever taken into my heart.
Gone.
Forever alone I wander
Holding myself at a distance
From those who would hold me.
I will not make that mistake again.
When I walk this earth again
Among the living,
Among my friends
I will have proven I am capable
Of learning
Of trying.
I can understand mercy
And sacrifice.
I have learned pain and defeat.
Over the long years I have learned.
I am only One.
Against Many.
Though I may be strong
Perhaps fast and intelligent
There is always one better.
I must work.
Work to be better and learn.
When I may walk again
I hope to find my soul.
Wish to find the one who holds it
And die one day.
Surrounded by loved ones.
To be the one buried instead of the one to
Bury.
To be loved again.
Wanted again.
Do you remember what that feels like?
Remember?,
Sacred Secret
Sunday, November 30, 2008
iPersonic
I Am A Sensitive Doer (SD)
Sensitive Doers are gentle, modest and reserved persons. They cope well with everyday life and like their privacy. With their quiet, optimistic nature, they are also good, sought-after listeners and other people feel well in their company. All in all, this type is the most likeable and friendliest of all personality types. Tolerance and heir regard for others distinguish their personality. They are very caring, generous and always willing to help. They are open to and interested in everything that is new or unknown to them. However, if their inner value system or their sense of justice is hurt, Sensitive Doers can suddenly and surprisingly become forceful and assertive.
Sensitive Doers enjoy the comforts life offers to the full. They are very happy in everyday life.
Sensitive Doers are often gifted artists or very good craftsmen. Creativity, imagination and an especially keen perception are just a few of their strong points.
Sensitive Doers are very presence-oriented; long-term planning and preparations do not appeal to them. They take life as it comes and react flexibly to daily demands. They do not like too much routine and predictability. Their talents come more to the fore when work processes are variable and there are not so many rules. Sensitive Doers like to work alone; if they are part of a team, they do not get involved in competitive or power games and prefer living and working together harmoniously and openly.
Sensitive Doers are completely satisfied with a small, close circle of friends as their need for social contacts is not very marked. Here, too, they avoid conflicts - quarrels and disputes put considerable strain on them. Sensitive Doers are often very fond of animals and are very good with small children.
As partner, this type is loyal and reliable and is willing to invest a lot in a relationship. Mutual respect and tolerance are very important to Sensitive Doers. Their love of pleasure makes them a pleasant companion with whom one can experience intensive moments. They like to look after their partner with attentiveness and small gifts and are very sensitive to the partner’s needs - often more than to their own.
However, should they meet the wrong person, they run the risk of being taken advantage of. They are then deeply disappointed.
Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, practical, emotional, spontaneous, sensitive, peace-loving, reserved, gentle, good-natured, independent, empathetic, friendly, playful, carefree, sympathetic, relaxed, quiet, modest, pleasure-loving, loyal, obliging, caring, helpful, optimistic
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Who Are You?
Sensitive Doers are gentle, modest and reserved persons. They cope well with everyday life and like their privacy. With their quiet, optimistic nature, they are also good, sought-after listeners and other people feel well in their company. All in all, this type is the most likeable and friendliest of all personality types. Tolerance and heir regard for others distinguish their personality. They are very caring, generous and always willing to help. They are open to and interested in everything that is new or unknown to them. However, if their inner value system or their sense of justice is hurt, Sensitive Doers can suddenly and surprisingly become forceful and assertive.
Sensitive Doers enjoy the comforts life offers to the full. They are very happy in everyday life.
Sensitive Doers are often gifted artists or very good craftsmen. Creativity, imagination and an especially keen perception are just a few of their strong points.
Sensitive Doers are very presence-oriented; long-term planning and preparations do not appeal to them. They take life as it comes and react flexibly to daily demands. They do not like too much routine and predictability. Their talents come more to the fore when work processes are variable and there are not so many rules. Sensitive Doers like to work alone; if they are part of a team, they do not get involved in competitive or power games and prefer living and working together harmoniously and openly.
Sensitive Doers are completely satisfied with a small, close circle of friends as their need for social contacts is not very marked. Here, too, they avoid conflicts - quarrels and disputes put considerable strain on them. Sensitive Doers are often very fond of animals and are very good with small children.
As partner, this type is loyal and reliable and is willing to invest a lot in a relationship. Mutual respect and tolerance are very important to Sensitive Doers. Their love of pleasure makes them a pleasant companion with whom one can experience intensive moments. They like to look after their partner with attentiveness and small gifts and are very sensitive to the partner’s needs - often more than to their own.
However, should they meet the wrong person, they run the risk of being taken advantage of. They are then deeply disappointed.
Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, practical, emotional, spontaneous, sensitive, peace-loving, reserved, gentle, good-natured, independent, empathetic, friendly, playful, carefree, sympathetic, relaxed, quiet, modest, pleasure-loving, loyal, obliging, caring, helpful, optimistic
http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html
Who Are You?
Monday, November 24, 2008
Voices In My Head
So you can guess that sometimes when I'm bored (rather all the time for every reason) I recede into my head just to do whatever. And when I'm in my head someone else is here. Right? Right. So today i'm in my head, watching whoever is here (which just happens to be Christina) and she was walking through the halls at lunch, going to the choir room. Whatever. And gets tackled by my stalker (child abuse guy?) and she elbows him in the gut. HARD. It was like reflex. Instataneous. She didn't even like squeak when he pounced on her or anything just *pounce* *BAM* *whimper* It was great. And he backed off like "owwww why'd you do that?" And she was like "oh sorry you scared me." HAHAHAHA it was awesome. First I felt bad for him, then her, then it was hilarious. Anyway. Thats all I got for you. Oh yeah, quick rundown.
Math sucks
French is hard
History is cool
Physics is amazing
Science sucks
IB English SUCKS HARD
and thats it. My day was great and everything is good beans. Later, loves!
TWMA,
Sacred Secret
P.S: F**K YEAH!
Math sucks
French is hard
History is cool
Physics is amazing
Science sucks
IB English SUCKS HARD
and thats it. My day was great and everything is good beans. Later, loves!
TWMA,
Sacred Secret
P.S: F**K YEAH!
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