Hey Guys

I don't have anything to say.

Hi guys. Can't wait until tonight.

See you all later

I accept your offer.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: If you don't know, don't speak.

I Love You

You ARE beautiful.



Dove, Campaign For Real Beauty: Amy's Video


I Love Your Body,
Sacred Secret

Quickie

Hey guys it's Christmas and I had a small break so I'm telling you guys I'm alive and well. The Voices have updated their blogs, so check them out. If you read them.


MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS!

Tootles!



Sacred Secret

P.S: What'd you get?

Another Color Quiz Check-Up

For those of you long term blog readers, you know I've done this before. This is the Color Quiz. Take it! Here are my newest results...


Sacred Secrets Existing Situation:
The existing situation contains critical or dangerous elements for which it is imperative that some solution be found. This may lead to sudden, even reckless, decisions. Self-willed and rejects any advice from others.

Sacred Secrets Stress Sources:
An existing situation or relationship is unsatisfactory, but she feels unable to change it to bring about the sense of belonging which she needs. Unwilling to expose her vulnerability, she therefore continues to resist this state of affairs, but feels dependent on the attachment. This not only depresses her. but makes her irritable and impatient, producing considerable restlessness and the urge to get away from the situation, either actually or, at least, mentally. Ability to concentrate may suffer.

Sacred Secrets Restrained Characteristics:
Becomes distressed when her needs or desires are misunderstood and feels that she has no one to turn to or rely on. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.
Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity.

Sacred Secrets Desired Objective:
Wants to establish herself and make an impact despite unfavorable circumstances and a general lack of appreciation.

Sacred Secrets Actual Problem:
Anxiety and restless dissatisfaction, either with circumstances or with unfulfilled emotional requirements, have produced stress. She tries to escape from these by denying their existence, concealing her dissatisfaction behind a proud but illusory claim to self-sufficiency and independence.


Well that's it. Remember it's just for fun. Tell me what you think....I guess. Everything is good. No need to ask. ttyl. Byebye.

Hi Boyz,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I don't really have any idea what's going on.

I live the perfect Life

I live the perfect life.

I live somewhere in the suburbs of some nice little town. I go to a uniformed private school. My parents are happy and live together. I see my dad all the time but mostly he's away on business. I'm okay with that. My little brother goes to a private school in a different state because that school better fits his needs. My grandma and grandpa are happy together and they live together in a small house. My grandma bakes cookies all the time and loves all of her children and grandchildren equally no matter their age. My grandpa is retired and wears a bathrobe in the morning , smokes a pipe, and reads the newspaper everyday to critique the world in an observant way. My cousins are in college studying to be doctors and lawyers. I will follow in their footsteps. We have a perfect yard and our home life is great. I go to a wonderful school with all of my friends. My teachers are nice and I have A's in all my classes. I have a wonderful boyfriend. I can tell my best friend anything, we share all our secrets, she's just like my sister. Every summer my family goes on vacation to somewhere exotic like last summer we went to Hawaii, this summer we plan on going to Africa to visit the rain forests. My dad wants us to be well rounded in our travels. I speak three languages and I am working on my fourth right now.

This is the perfect world I live in in my dreams. I have created this world because on the occasion that I visit it I can predict exactly what is going to happen. In my little world of sheltered and naive people I have no Voices. I am a mindless zombie and in this little world of major conformity I am obliviously happy because I am ignorant to any kind of pains. I have never fallen down or scraped my hands or knees. I have never failed at anything. I have never been poor or without anything. I have never talked about sex or abortions or politics or poverty or genocide or anything or the sort. You know why? Me either. I don't even know why I'm writing this, telling you all this. None of it matters because I don't understand it. Don't reply. Don't tell me some weird ass bullshit I've heard thirty thousand times before because like everything else that is said to me I take it to heart until someone else shoots down myself esteem to what seems to be beyond recreation. Then I listen to someone else's bullshit and *sighs*.....whatever anyway. It doesn't matter. I'm going to go lay around in my bed for about three hours. until I fall asleep to stay in my dream world for a while. Then when I wake up I'll go to school and do the same thing I've been doing everyday of my life. I'll fake it.

I don't have any problems. I live a perfect life. My problems are truly insignificant I have no reason to complain or bitch or moan or gripe about anything because compared to people with real problems I am fine. I am perfect. My life is careless and fancy free. I need no help. I am not dependent. I can make my own decisions and someday I will go off and have a family of my own that is just like my dream world. Deep deep under the surface we will have the most fucked up problems you could ever imagine. That's alright, because I'll still be perfect. And that's all that matters. I don't understand what's going on. I'm not going to reread this to make sure it makes sense for your benefit. I'll spell check it though, so that when I come back to this in a couple of weeks and read it I'll be able to just barely make out what was going through my head this night. I'm going to go now. And maybe in the morning I'll be perfect again.

Sincerely,
Fallacy
aka Sacred Secret
aka Half-Witt
aka BooBoo
aka Baby Girl
aka Sweetie
aka Babysitter lady
aka Cynthia
or whatever you want to call me.

P.S: Like that wasn't enough for you?

TGIF!

This post really isn't about anything but its FRIDAY! WOOT WOOT! lol every time I say WOOT it reminds me of Hito. Because he used to say WOO allllllllll the time. For any occasion, he even had different versions of it. It was hilarious. Anyway, I want to have a party. It's HAT DAY at North Hill and so I took pictures with the kids and ran around telling everyone that its hat day. It was fun. Now I'm waiting for Fange' to get here and wondering how I'm going to tell her things. See this weekend we are going to go to The Victorian Christmas show and then on Sunday we're going to my boyfriends soccer game. I really want to go and watch him. He's really good at soccer and he likes it a lot. lol he's been trying to get me to go forever now, so I finally just said yes, because we aren't going to the winter ball together. Why? 'Cause I have a concert that night (like last year) and so I think he's just going to have dinner with us (Mom, Grandma, Fange', Myself) If Fange's comes over that weekend. Which she probably will because she doesn't miss any of my concerts unless she absolutely has to. But thats all fine and dandy. I just hope they can get along. Tyler doesn't have any problem with Fange' but she still has a grudge against him I think. I can never tell. But I DO understand why she doesn't like him. I mean she's allowed to hold a grudge, but...oh I don't know. Never mind I'm going to shut up cause It doesn't even matter. OH YEAH! I have good news. The Counselor has a girlfriend. Well she's not technically his girlfriend yet, they haven't known each other very long, but soon. He's already really protective of her but she's still kind of involved with her "ex" they still live together and they still "play" together but they're not going out. She's really quite and when she does talk her voice is really soft and kinda raspy like she doesn't use it a lot which she probably doesn't. The Counselor loves her voice. Like really he does. He smiles every time she says his name. It's cute. So to give them their time to get to know each other I've been hanging out with Hito and Kin. And Williem and his crew. Speaking of Hito, those of you that know about the event, Mae woke up the other day after being unconscious for about a week. She's doing alright now, and the pHd's are deciding on whether or not she'll be able to have kids again. She doesn't remember what happened she does know she's lost something, but Hito is unsure when to tell her. It will be hard on him. :( . But Hito is strong, and so is Mae, so they'll get through it. Alright well I think I'm done now. GO HAVE A PARTY BECAUSE ITS HAT DAY AND I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Latah ^_^

TGIF,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Who am I dating?

Happy Turkey Day

YO! omg it's been foooreevvveerrr! I'm sorry I haven't posted in forever but not a whole lot has happened to post about. Which is a good thing right? Normally I just post about my problems because if I were you, the reader, thats all I would find interesting. Humans seem to be interested in the pain of others. Even the most sympathetic ones and interested. It's just a common curiosity I think all of homo-sapiens share. But its okay, I mean I'm the same way, so... Right! How are you all? I'm doing well (as earlier stated) me and my boyfriend are happy (for those that care) and school life is great for the most part. I got my report card and goes as such:

French 1: A
Geometry: B
Integrated Science 2: A
English: B
World History: A
Quality Fitness: B

Cool huh?! I am soooo happy, you don't even KNOW! lol I've been listening to dumb music this week. You can listen to it with me if you want to and visit my YouTube account. Leave me a comment when you get there too, please! That is, if you go.

Sacred Secrets Video's!

I hope you go. If you don't, no hard feelings. What are you all doing for Thanksgiving? I'm going to meh sisters house and stuffing my face. God I love Thanksgiving, for multiple reasons; I get to eat, spend time with family, get out of school, party, sleep, and cooler still is Christmas is almost here too! I know most of you are like "Oh, and your not going to post again until Christmas, huh?" Okay, okay! I know I deserve this. Hounding everyone to read my friggin' blog and when they do I don't update. Well I'm Sorry! But if there's nothing to say can you blame me? I hate reading other people's blogs who only post three sentences and sign off. That's annoying, when I read someones blog I want to learn something about them, or sympathize, feel joy or something. I don't want "Their still alive? That's good, next website." Y'know? I want to feel something when I read it. But maybe that's just the writer in me coming out. Speaking of writing! I'm conducting a "thing" with the Voices. I picked a select few and let their significant others pick out "modern human names" for them. (i.e: boys for girls, girls for boys) and it turned out interestingly well. I would list the names they got but I can't. It's confidential. And if I list them the Girls will know their new names and so will the Boys. I can't do that sooo no luck for you. The only one that might get to know is Fange'. But I have to be careful there too because almost everything she knows, they know. I'm the same way. I tend not to keep anything from the Voices. Sometimes that is an inconvenience however because ALL of them have enormous mouths and can't seem to keep them shut. But I love them all the same. Well I have school tomorrow and it's 11 o'clock. So peace, and happy eatings.

Kiss Kiss,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Your secret today: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

P.P.S: J/K. I've noticed people who usually piss me off tend to be pretty.

Possibly the Best Worst day of my life...

I feel like I've let down everyone today. I let down my son, my friends, my boyfriend, my mom, my sister, and myself. If any of you disagree I don't care. Just let me live out my sorrow for a moment. Oh! And shout out to Suketsu & Family. I love you guys for all you've done in the past 72 hours. You guys rox my sox hard. I mean it. HARD. I have a lot of homework and yet not a lot. School is going well and weird and yeah. Same old shit. I can pretty much close my eyes and make it to each of my classes I'm so used to it now. But I know if something in my schedule changes I'll tweak out because I'm not friends with change. Sudden drastic changes scare the f*** out of me. I don't know why but they do. Deaths and births don't bother me however in the least. But people moving away, changes in my everyday schedule or my immediate house-hold freak me out. I've gotten my fear under control so that I can hide when I'm tweaking out a bit, but there are still somethings...anyway! Well my grandpa is taking me out to dinner and I'm going to go get dressed. See you guys later.

Get Well Soon, Night,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Please, for the love of God, please don't be mad.
P.P.S: Thank you for understanding.

Hey peeps! I'm bored call me. It's only nine and its dead quite around here. Well a quickie update:

Takin the PSAT on Wednesday
Test in French bumped up to Thursday
Favorite color is still dark red
Favorite color combo slowly switching from black and purple to green and black.

Other than that I'm BORED AND NOT A LOT OF TIRED
I think I'm going to call Fange' and see whats doing. Maybe catch up on the HW.
So yeah. sorry this isn't longer. But...I'm bored.

Til Pigs Fly,
Sacred Secret

P.S: At school I try to remember what I do, the choices I make, and the things I say. Then I reflect on the during the bus ride home.If I feel I've dissapointed myself, or stepped out of my own moral boundaries I vow to apologize to whoever I wronged.

Do I Really?

Current Song: "I'll Cover You" --- Rent


I don't think I do but I'm not going to say anything for fear of being eaten by all of the people that think otherwise. I'm nervous and excited and dreading the time...but I'm so tied up I guess I'm floating around in a weird euphoria. Just floating and nothing more. If I'm not insanely tired I'll get on when I get back and tell you how it went. If your wondering what it is, its Homecoming. And the game yesterday? We lost. Big time. Like Forty something to twenty something. How gay is that? Dammit! I messed up the makeup again. Maybe I'll send you a picture if you reall want to see. But not right now. Later, when my mom puts the pics on her MySpace. So yeah like I said....lots with the nervousness. I think I should probably eat something before I go...I don't know if he's taking me out to eat or not though...so should I? *sigh* I wish I could have a handful of the Voices in my purse the whole time so I can ask them for advice. I know I can have them in my head but....I want a pocket pal!! Oh well. The Counselor says I'll be fine and Hito said I look like a goddess, *smiles* I loved the look in his eyes. Kin said I shouldn't go because Tyler doesn't deserve to look at me dressed this way. But Kin is protective. Batman was hitting on me more than usual, so was Adrian and Vaun. One of Zenisha's darkies was too, which is weird. Well I guess I should get going and eliminate the Voices that are going to make me more nervous and keep the ones I'll need for advice. On top of the other stuff I need to be doing so yeah...God I'm scared..

Waiting For Tonight,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Please, please, please don't let me down....

Welcome To The Bloody Parade...

So I'm here talking about nothing and everything at once. Figuring that if I can just say it and get it off my chest then my soul and mind will not be so heavy laden with guilt. Alas...I have a feeling I won't be able to attain this bliss. I'm going to continue listening to my new favorite song "Falling Inside The Black" by Skillet. It's a good song. I will admit it's a little emo but I like it so shut up. Sorry I'm being an ass. And the was I was speaking earlier is just a type I fall into when I'm writing sometimes. So just excuse me for that. I honestly don't have a lot to talk about. I want to see Suketsu's kids. I haven't seen them in a long time and I really want to know what has gone down to make Ryuu sound so grievous. Or maybe I'm just imaging his pain, but I'm pretty sure there is something wrong. Also, to remind myself I'll write it here, I have to get so many birthday presents for the people with upcoming birthdays. And the new ones that are coming. I hope the wolves return soon and in good health. I want to see the Brothers. I want to see everyone. I've been holing myself up in The Counselors office (his house) for a while now and he looks at me with concern. When I'm not with him I'm with Fange' and Sy helping them with what I can. Speaking of him he's doing well last I checked and should be coming home soon. Gods I hate the Italian doctors right now. They know nothing! D.C knows more than they do and she's barely almost seven. *sighs* But whatever they will get replaced soon enough. You know how vamps can't get sick from human diseases or sicknesses? Well apparently they aren't immune to the illnesses of the Mist. Four civilian vamps I know have come down with flu and fever after reportedly talking to someone of the Mist. The three I do know, know nothing of this sickness and are almost fearful of it. And whatever makes Mist afraid makes me outrageously nervous and scared for my life. But they don't seem that worried just a little like it might circulate their house and get the l****e k**'* sick. So yeah. Oh my mom is totally enthralled in the BDB right now.. of course so am I but she's a n00b she doesn't know anything yet, but she's almost done with the first book. I started the fifth today but I was already on page fifteen cause I actually started the day we got it (Sept. 25) so yeah... but I'll post more about that later (I'm going to come talk to you V..I have a...some questions ^_^) Alright I'm done. Peace easy fo' sheezy.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: When I don't get that maternal fix my heart feels like it's breaking and my mind says I'm losing my purpose. I know its not true and I'll keep on living but I surround myself with children each day to stave off that horrid feeling. It's like a drug I can't get rid of because I'm afraid of the pain...Sometimes...I am so pathetic...

Hey Peeps

I'm not posting about much, just sayin' Yo. 'Cause I'm tired and I gotta study for french class still. My weekend was good. Fange' and me walked down to the marina and back (well we took the bus half way back) And truly it was some of the Voices so yeah. I'm going to start giving them credit where credit is due. So I'm gonna get. Tell me how your weekend was everyone! I hope your monday is just as good as my Saturday!!! Peace

Stayin Above The Water,
Sacred Secret

Thinking About Tomorrow...

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't posted in forever. For some reason I thought that if I just kept checking my own blog something new would pop up and tell me something about myself. The Counselor corrected my foolishness, and so here I am posting. Ever since school started I've been really tired and my knee has been jacked up and shite. Well, I'm tired and my mom wants to give me a friggin' horse pill for the pain in my knee. And I don't want to stop because I haven't posted in so long but I can't focus...and I haven't written anything in forever except for the stuff on my laptop and I can't transfer that to here. Maybe I can find a picture for you. There that one's cool right? It reminds me of Yukiko, because of the bright green eyes. Her eyes are so pretty, and her son's are almost the same color. Want another? This one reminds me of....guess! You'll never guess never mind. But it reminds me of Rehmidy. I don't know why, but it does. I've been talking to her a lot lately...she makes me sad, but she also makes me appreciate my life and the people around me. She's been very sickly ever since....well if you don't know then shame on you. And recently she's taken a liking to coming here for about two classes everyday, and then she leaves and Fherosity carries her around until she falls asleep in his arms. He is very worried about her and she refuses to see anyone, medically I mean, about it. Fherosity won't push her on it because he loves her so, and I think he's worried about her health as much as her brother was...no as much as her brother is. I'm very sure that he is watching her, however disapproving his gaze maybe. But all of us know how much he loves her and I think his passing is taking it's toll. Not that it didn't directly the day of but now...*Sigh* I'm going to stop, and go check on her and get to work because despite my sleepiness I still have work to do. Yawn yawn. Goodnight everyone. Sorry again for not posting sooner.

Waiting On The World To Change,

Sacred Secret

P.S: When I'm around people who think little of them self, it makes me think that I am even worse off than they are. Even if there's nothing truly wrong....do you understand?

School Starts in 16 hours

Oh my god. I'm tired and bored and I don't have a lot to say. School starts tomorrow I have to catch the bus at the top of the hill at seven. I hope I'm not late on the first day....picture day is Friday I think so I have to get meh hair done. The Voices lives are going smoothly for the most part. I'll update you all on that later maybe. Right now I want to write about something. It's a story ideal that is quickly unraveling. Here's my idea:

A little boy, about the age of six is standing at his front screen door in the middle of a terrible lightning storm. His mother is out at work and he is waiting for her patiently to return. Eventually he goes to bed without her and hopes in the morning she will have come home. But when he wakes, his mother is no where to be found. Days go by and the boy sees a car crash on the news, and a picture of his mother beside it. Unable to read and not quite comprehending the announcers words he figures she had something to do with the accident. The little boy is undiscovered for three years, living of the money and food that was left, the continuing checks that are sent to the house from welfare, child support and some other government branches. One day the boy is discovered by a neighboring cocaine addict and is sold for money. The rest of the story is how the little boy survives, from his point of view, and his travels. There's more but if I write this I don't want to spoil the ending for you.


So what do you think? I might write it and I might not. Sounds kind of weird to me. I'm supposed to be editing and updating A Touch Of Poison, but I'm burnt out. Maybe later....Anywayz check you out in a quick minute peace.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Yes, actually, I am scared to start school tomorrow.

Holy Crap! Summertime!

It's summer you know and I'm at Fange's place, posting from her computer! (Fange' says Hi) So how are you all doing? I'm good, awaiting school again. I'm anxious to go back but I know that when I do I will be bored again. But atleast then I'll have something to do with my freaking life. Because GAH! Summer is boring. I haven't done anything like all summer and I cannot wait to go camping. The Voices will probably be there the majority of the time but it will be fun any way. You know why? BECAUSE WHATS-HER-FACE WILL NOT BE THERE!!! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heehee that was mean but I don't want her there because she's Emo when she's not with her boyfriend. Bleeeeehh. God sometimes...anyway! It's cool though because Fange's house is fun when it's not boring....does that make sense? It doesn't have to. Anyway. I'm gonna go now. So PEACE


TWMA,
SACRED secret


P.S: You can't be serious, you think your going to get a secret? It's SUMMERTIME. Read the title. Duh.

Happy Summer!

It's summer time and I don't have a whole lot to say. I went to Ozzfest last night (ROCKED) going to Ozzfest again tommorow (ROCKS X2) Currently in a CUlinary Arts class (yes during the summah) and gettin .5 credits toward school. Thats awesome right? Sha. So like I said I don't have much to say but Happy Summer!!

Peace, Love, & Rock N' Roll,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I don't know how to tell you that I love you....love you more than any words can say. I'm not sure that I'll ever tell you just how much....I need you.

The Burger, The Shake...But No Fries...

In my last post I said you might get A Touch Of Poison's latest installment...but...you don't. Sorry but It's just not ready. I transferred all of my info to my computer at home and so everyrthing is out of wack and...ugh. So I have to still make the rest of my writings on this computer go home. And I have three days to do so. If only Shiroi and Ryuuzaki had their hacking skillz here. Those two! All of the boys are going through some weird thing where they feel they have to kill each other to claim their place in the family. All of them have gone insane, and try and kill each other when they aren't around the cooresponsive sister. The sewt up is like this:

Ryojin --- Nami
Shiroi ---- Uitara
Kyarameru --- Yokozuna
Ryuuzaki ---- Tesu

So all of them have different floors of the house, paired with their own sister. The girls can interact with each other fine but the boys...oi. There are like...6 or 7 different floors above ground, two below. Yes, their house is huge. So each of them get their own floor (yes, each floor has its own bathroom and mini kitchen, not that they use the kitchens) and unless they have to go to school or someplace they stay there, not wanting to kill each other. Because the boys are not of equal strengths. I'm sure out of all of them Ryojin is the strongest, for now, Kyarameru is close behind him. Ryuuzaki is the tallest and has a lot of strength behind him too and Shiroi is pretty much his twin just a little shorter. If they all got into it...it would not be a pleasant outcome.
In other news, remember when I said I would get to babysit for Yukisora and Xiao? OMG It was way more interesting than I thought it would be! Pheleon' (Xiao's Son) and Veiraun (Yukisora's Son) are practically inseperable. They were born around the same time, so they are the same age. I forget which one is older. Everytime one of them got an idea of something to do he would look at the other and say "Yeah. I got it." Then they'd hop off the couh and go about their bussiness. *sighs and rolls her eyes* I'll update you guys more in a New York minute. My info tech teacher thinks the last three days of school are important. Oh btw Ryojin and them are out of school already!! How unfair is that!? Well...they are a day ahead...Pfft still not fair.

School's Out For The Summer,
SacreD SecreT

P.S: I can't WAIT until OSC

P.P.S: I Love You!

Defective

I think I might be defective because in Math class were doing Slopes and Intercepts for the fiftyith time and I still don't get it. We're having a District Wide Final Exam Thurs-Fri and I'm NOT ready. I think maybe I should just do as my dreams suggested and cheat. NOT! I would never cheat on something this big. Though it is a good idea....lol just kidding. I'm still working of A Touch Of Poison. In my next post I should be ready to give it to you. But we'll find out. I finally get to babysit for Xiao and Yukisora at the same time. I want to see their kids interact together. They haven't seen eacher other in a while so that should be interesting. ^_^ Well I have about ten minutes left of this class and not a whole lot left to say. Its been a good day. I've been getting my Yearbook signed like crazy. How about you? You better get a lot of signatures from the seniors 'cause they ain't comin' back! lolz I love seniors they're fun to talk to. I don't have a lot of senior friends though, more Sophy's (sophmores) instead. Well I'm gonna go now. Peace out Girl Scout!


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

100th And Counting...

This post is supposed to be happy, but I'm not sure it will be. See I've got a lot to say this time and I've been waiting a while to say it. And because I can't say it face to face to all the people I want to say it to at one time I'm going to post it and I'm going to try and not take it back. Alright....

Have you ever listened to someone and then figured out you should have made your own choice? Wanted to take back something that you didn't choose yourself? I've done that a lot. I've changed myself. Given myself a fake smile I can't rip away from, given myself a completely different life in order to fit in because I'm afraid to be myself around anyone. Alone I act differently. When I'm alone I can be everyone I'm not and everything I am. Do you want to know who I am? I would love to tell you.

At School: I'm a retard. I'm only intelligent to people who think they truly know me, people who I've let see a little bit of my light. I'm indecisive and always waiting for someone to make the decisions for me. I'm waiting for people to talk to me, to talk for me. I am never alone, forever clinging to someones arm following someone around waiting for someone to lead me. Around some people I am forever thinking about sex. My mind is gutter and I have nothing better to think about. Some people I'm beautiful, I am vain and I think about myself. To others I am selfless, I think of only others. This is me while I'm in school. What people see me as, in the place I'm supposedly supposed to feel the safest.

At Home: I am a student who doesn't know how to study. I am a singer with an amazing voice and no idea how to use it. I'm stubborn and family oriented. I love every child I see and I might be too trusting. I am an aspiring author and able to go anywhere I want and do anything I wish. With my intellect I can be whatever I want. I know who I am and I show it. I am a loving daughter with paternal issues that need to be solved. I am the miracle of my mothers life and I am the most special person she knows. This is me while I'm in my home. Where I am supposed to be able to be myself.

Around My Family: I am everything they want. I speak only what they want to hear. I dress the way they want and do everything I can to appease them. I do as they ask and revel in doing so. I give kisses and hugs freely. I'm always willing to help and constantly willing to learn. When asked about school I tell them imaginary highlights, the ones they expect and want to hear. I am loving, caring, devoted, beautiful, and happy. The ideal teenage daughter/niece/granddaughter/cousin.

Around My Best Friends Family: I am open and myself. I'm the youngest sister. I'm klutzy, and forgetful. But I'm a wonderful singer, a hopeful lawyer and an intelligent student. On occasion I maybe forgetful of my place but easily rebound. I'm supportive and interesting and annoying and sometimes very to the point. This is who I am around my best friends family.

Around Fange': I'm what she needs. I try to be all that she needs in and a friend and in a sister. I am loyal, I am caring. I'm entertaining and dumb. I'm there for her when she needs to rant, there when she needs to cry and I'm there when she just wants to talk about whatever. Intellectual conversation and retarded banter is what I am here for. This is who I am around one of the most important people in my life.

And you know what? I can't take it anymore. I'm getting my lives mixed up, not to mention the Voices. I don't even want to get started on them yet. Maybe in a later post...because I can't handle them right now. I want to be able to be myself around anyone and everyone. I want to stop hiding behind my many faces and just be me for once. I know I'll probably never get this chance. And through all of my many faces I am a little bit of all of them. But now I want to be all of them combined and if I can't handle the weight of everyone's judgement at once I'll probably just crumble and enclose myself in my mind for the rest of my life. But its a bet I'm willing to participate in. I'm tired of people telling me to be myself and thinking "Yeah Right." I want to be able to actually believe them. Oh gods...I still have so much to say, so I'm going to get the important stuff over with.

Fange: Your the biggest part of my life and probably always will be until I have kids or get married or something. I always put you into the equation when deciding on anything. I know I think about you more than you think about me. I realize how different we actually are and I strive to be everything you need. I understand that I can't be. I love you in every way shape and form. I'm sad that I couldn't tell you this to your face.

I love him. I love him and I don't care how many times we break up, get back together, fight, argue or whatever. I love him. He holds my heart in his hands and I don't care what anyone says about him anymore. He's mine. He's my retarded, ugly, dim-witted, arrogant, loserish, bastard. He's my immature child. He's mine and I don't care. I will utter his name as many times as I want. I will write on the walls. I would scream his name from the highest point on earth. Because I can. Because I want to. Because he's mine. I want to experience everything that every other couple does. I want to be able to be open with my feelings about him to everyone. I want to be accepted because of who I am, and who I love. So with pride, happiness, love, and sincerity do I say: I love Tyler Richard Pappas with all my heart. And If you can't accept that I'm sorry. If you don't want to associate yourself with me anymore because of that, I will forever wonder why I let you dictate my life. So with this do I say farewell until my next post.

Oh...and if you don't like what I have to say...I suggest you get your own blog and voice your own opinions about whatever the hell you like. I don't like flamers (haters, people who are mean) so please don't come to me and tell me how stupid you think I am. I don't need that.


Till We Meet Again,
Sacred Secret


P.S: This entire post was a secret. What more do you want from me? What more can I offer?

P.P.S: I'm smiling right now, because my body is heavy with a sorrow that tells me if I try...I will be crying later on tonight.

One Two Skip A Few...

This is our 99th post! I had a lot to blog about today but I have since finding the inspiration, lost it. I apologize for not updating sooner. Things have been well with me, though my math teacher is from some kind of twisted path of sick humor is taking great pleasure in my torment. See I was reading "Dark Prince" and she took my book from me saying "I will give this back at the end of the week." Promptly I told her that I would not be doing anything in her class until my literature was returned to me. This, somehow, confused her. She asked me if needed anything to help with my studying in this class. It struck me as extremely idiotic of her to ask this after I had explained that I would not be doing anything until I was given my book. So patiently I retold her such. Still, she remains confused. So I have detention, served 30 minutes to any willing teacher, on any day I am available. I should no doubt continue on working on my final project for this class (I.T) so farewell to you for now, until we meet again.


This is very important. To all of those who have read the so far workings of "A Touch Of Poison" Please voice your opinions on the following:
Should Liras die? Why, Why not?
Should Atreyu be forced to return to his homeland, if Liras dies? Why, Why not?
I understand this sounds kind of like a school assignment but I cannot continue until I know what the readers want. Please respond thoroughly and promptly.


TWMA,
Sacred Secret


P.S: I understand the above was probably childish and immature of me to do, but I felt I had no other choice. Yes, I could have simply shrugged it off and did as she asked but I was feeling....rebellious...we'll say.