Ranting...

(unedited)
I hate this class with a firey passion. The only time I learned anything in here is when we has that really mean old fat lady. But atleast we were learning then. I have a feeling if the original teacher had stayed I would be working right now, instead of wondering what the hell I'm supposed to be doing...*sigh* I wish SOMEONE would HELP me maybe you know maybe someone like the TEACHER after he gets some breath mints because that stuff is rank to high heaven! Seriously, who has that rancid of breath? Sure he looks a little more clean shaven than before but his breath is still gross. SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS CLASS!!!!!!!!! I wish someone could like come in here and ask me what I really wanted right this moment. I would say "another class please." and then they would wave their magic wand and I would be in a new info tech class like that. So much better that way. I want to work on my story for English class. I'm going to go home and leave, have someone else clean my room and the bathroom then I'll come home and work on my my story. I want to cry now... I don't know why either I just do. I want to burst into tears and run out of here. It would feel so good. These people are stupid. Can't someone please, for the love of GOD get me out of here? Please? I can't wait until the freaking school year is over so I can go to french class everyday instead of this hell. Please let me get transfered out of this class please please please!! Its not always like t his but I hate Excel (microsoft program) and God forbid he tell us what to do at all. No. He just writes some questions on the board without telling how we're supposed to answer them. Bah! I hate this class! Hate hate hate! Utter loathing. Grrrr I'm leaving.

Eternal HATRED For Info Tech,
Sacred Secret

Hey

Hey people I didn't post yesterday because of the following reasons;

1) I was sending all the stuff from this computer to mine.
2) The computer was especially slow yesterday.
3) I had an actual assignment to complete
4) And lastly, there just wasn't enough time!!

There wasn't enough time because the schedule is all screwy because of WASL testing. I don't expect you to know what that is, but it is a standardized test for the state I live in. I won't tell you, you'll have to figure it out ^_^ But otherwise how was your yesterday? What about yesterdays tomorrow? Mine is fine. I recieved interesting news last night and even before that equally happy news, Congratulations Lie & Tori. So I'll have to tell Fange' about my discoverings later, if she doesn't already know...which I don't think she does. Hmm. Well I think I'm done for today I don't want to give my stalkers too much to read for now. Maybe you guys will get luckier later...freaks. ^_^ Byeee!!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I'm Not as nice and meek as everyone thinks. ^_~

Title

So how are you all? I'm kind of bored today as once again I am posting from my head. I didn't want to come to school today because Fange' and the elementary schools didn't have to go to school today, but cest la vie. I'm Stickerfiying everyone today with Shamrock stickers. It was my mom's idea. I'm having fun. Moberry's friend gave me a cookie and I shared it with Honora, as we wandered through the halls. Hey, do you know any guys that can scream really high pitched? Like a girl? Some guy did that today, it scared the crap out of me! Needless to say I was very surprised. I'm writing something wrote now because the voice that's here is soooooo nice. She's very tolerant. I'd come actually be here but I'm watching some kids and waiting for their parents. Their asleep now, so I have time to write this but when they wake up I'll have to go. I've been going to career cruising.com and they said in order for me to be a Writer I should take classes like Computer Tech and Keyboarding. As well as English Literature and a bunch of business classes. I didn't think that it would take so much! If I become a Freelance writer I won't have to take all that stuff, plus I won't ever have a deadline I can work at my own pace. That would be awesome but I would need a day job to keep the cash flow. Hmmm I wonder what I'll do. Of course I have other options, other ideas, but right now that's the only one I really see. Do you have a dream job? One you hold tightly in your grasp, a dream you don't plan on letting go anytime soon? I used to want to be a Scientist, I thought I would find the cure for breast cancer but they seem so close now that by the time I got there they would have long since found the cure. But childhood dreams die...though...I still want a horse...^_^ anyway! Crap! Their up and starving (little vampires do that when they wake up =_= oi.) Got to keep their teeth away from me so peace out! Oh! And have an awesome weekend!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Friday is not my favorite day of the week, Monday is.

It's Pie Day!

My nail broke. I never thought I'd say that because my nails are so strong but it broke on the door or something. I don't know. It hurt. Today in Info Tech we are writing about what we know about Global Warming. Isn't it amazing that we're working in I.T.? Mr. Urner must have gotten yelled at or something because now we're working (yes, I'm back at school) and it's kind of fun. Oh BTW its Pie day! You know the mathematical sign, pi? Well it's March 14 which makes it 3.14! Get it? It's a math thing. Anyway Happy Pie Day. So what are you all doing this weekend? I'll probably hang out with my friend and it should be a happy weekend. We're expecting kids this month but nobody has had any yet. :( I'm sad because I love it when people have kids. It's so fun everyone gets excited and happy. Like when Darius and Sayuri had their kids everyone went psycho! Everybody was like "Omigod!" lol it was funny and cute because of the babies and everyone was jumping around wanting to see them and *smiles* It was cool. I guess you could say I'm having a good day today, yes I was here. I've been here all day. And you know what? I'm not invisible in I.T. today. People are talking to me and noticing me. I didn't change anything about myself so maybe it's because I was gone mon-tues. I dunno. Well I guess I'll go now , I actually have to pay attention a little bit! See you all later!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood. (I like to try odd foods as long as the LOOK good)

P.P.S: Does anyone other than me HATE the labels?

"Contemplation Demenstration"

(unedited)
It's something a friend of mine says a lot. I'm not quite sure what it means but he says it all the time. Sometimes though when I'm not paying attention it sounds like something else. Figure it out for yourself. I don't know what to write about anymore. Have you ever done that? Started writing and then had to stop because you didn't know where it should go from there? I do that all the time and Fange' get's mad because I don't finish anything. But I guess she'll have to get over it or I'll have to find some self motivation. I have the sudden urge to read now...but I won't for at least another ten minutes 'cause I'm waiting. We're watching Lifetime. The channel for women. I don't know why either, but it's kind of interesting, a bit creepy. Well I guess I have nothing better to say. *yawns* I'm bored. I think I'll let someone else be bored. lalalala lol yeah right I can't sing right now. My throat is so dead its not even funny. I didn't go to school again today, and I reallly want to go tommorow because I missed a test in science today and God knows what I missed yesterday. Aww this movie is making me sad. No I don't know what its called, but it's very sad so far. I guess I'm going to go do something now. Bye bye bye!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: You don't get a secret this time.

Sick

I'm sick, and it sucks because tomorrow I have to sell girl scout cookies and today I think I have to go to choir. It is Tuesday after all, and small ensemble needs me. I don't really want to go but I've been at home FOREVER now and I'm really really bored. When I'm sick I don't want to lay around all day I get too bored. Unless I feel like total shit then laying around is good. This medicine is good though it really works and I love it. I don't really know what I'm going to do now, I'm very very bored. I guess I'll putt around YouTube for a little while, maybe write something. Eat some more. Well I guess I'll talk to you all later. Maybe I'll post again. But I never do when I say that! Maybe!!

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: Sometimes when I'm mistaken for a boy, I just play along.

Friday

Okay so I'm blogging from my head, the voice that is here is kind enough to let me do this. (thank you) because they have other things to be doing. I just wanted to tell you all that I haven't been here all week. I've only come back a couple times and you can bet it wasn't at school. Next week I'll be here more often (promise), cause The Counselor said I should be. But I like being there and talking to other people that are actually intelligent and I don't have to dumb myself down so they can understand what I'm saying. If anything they have to stupify themselves so I can understand them and it's so great ^_^ I'm so used to people saying things like "What?" and "I don't get it." it's just so frustrating to talk to idiots all the time (I'm sure at least some of you know what I'm talking about) If there weren't intelligent people for me to escape to I think I'd be permanently stupid. So I'm glad for my house, Fange's house and the Voices because I don't want to be dumb all my life (though sometimes I do lack common sense) Enough of my ranting! It's Friday and I am happy. I ate good food, played games, spent time with the coolest kids in the world, and now I'm going to go visit some babies (and their parents) and talk to some other people and get to know new ones! I love my job ^_^ Speaking of jobs I think I've acquired a new one. I don't want it for permanency. It's just fun to do sometimes, okay? Stop asking me to do it for an actual job because I already have one and I LOVE what I do, okay? Okay then. Fill in for someone when I'm not doing anything? Sure. Got an extra job when I'm bored? Okay. Offering a couple dollars when I'm broke? Of course. But keep in mind that I do enjoy babysitting and I want to keep that as my job. Alright? Now that I think about it some people will not understand what I was just talking about and because of it your going to have to stay confused because I'm not going to explain for you. Either try and figure it out yourself or let it go. Alright, I'm done now. Peace Eazy people.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: If I had a true confidante' I would tell them everything about myself the first time I talked to them. I try not to do that with everyone because it gets me into bad friendships. The people I'm close to already know a lot.

Sorry 'Bout That

lol thank you my sistah, I completely forgot after being slapped. That I didn't give you guys your secret! To explain the being slapped thing, some kid walked by and hit me. I don't think it did it on purpose but it still pissed me off because I'm apparently invisible in that class. Anywho here are your secrets for today, later!


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Talking is like a guessing game to me, I tell people what they want to hear, but if I say the wrong thing I play it off.

P.P.S: Sometimes I think I'm something that I'm not and it makes me feel better than everyone else because I pretend they know.

Betches

This post was going to be happy until I got slapped just now. That totally ruined my day just now. This had better not get any worse. I try to make the most of Monday's because they start every week and there's going to be a lot of them. Life is what you make of it so why can't Monday be the same? There's a boy in my Info Tech class who looks (and reminds me of) a rat. Not a very smart rat either, not one you use for testing. Just a regular old ugly, smelly, rat. And he's annoying too! (bonus points!) Otherwise, today has been pretty good. I wish people would watch where their going sometimes, instead of just stopping in the middle of places without thinking about the other people that are trying to get by. You can't say excuse me because they take manners as sarcasm, and you can't just flat out tell them to move because then they get all huffy and hostile talkin about "Why should I?" and "Go around!", "You move." and ish like that. I don't understand why people have to be jerks all the time. Jeeze. Anyway, I haven't completed my publicity stunt yet, I keep forgetting to cut out my blog address. I think I'll just bring scissors to school. In Info Tech I'm writing a lot of things and I'm not letting anyone read them because after I know what someone else thinks about it it makes me feel like the written piece is used and old. So there's a bunch of stuff no body's read yet. And when I'm done with them I'll send them to my house computer and post them up here or print them out and give them to Fange' and my Mom. My Info Tech teacher, Mr Urner, is a pretty off the rocker kinda guy. Like right now there's a kid drawing a "picture" of him on the whiteboard and he's totally cool with it. When class started he made everyone shake his hand before they cam into the class. It was so weird, but he does odd ball stuff like this all the time. Wow. Anyway I think I'm gonna go now maybe I'll post something later...I doubt it though. Hmm....whatever, peace ya'll or as the newest voice says: Later bye-bye!


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Daddy's Little Girl

Daddy's Little Girl
Frankie J

He drops his suitcase by the door
She knows her daddy won't be back anymore
She drags her feet across the floor
Tryna hold back time to keep him holding on
And she says

Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you
Daddy Daddy don't leave
Mommy's saying things she don't mean
She don't know what she's talking about
Somebody hear me out

Father listen
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go
Father save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
I pray to you

Now she hasn't slept in weeks
She don't want to close her eyes cause she's scared that he'll leave
They tried just about everything
But it's getting harder now
For him to breathe
And she says

Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you
Daddy Daddy don't leave
The doctors are saying things they don't mean
They don't know what they talking about
Somebody hear me out

Father (father) listen (listen)
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go
Father (father) save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
I pray to you

Please don't let him go
I'm begging you so
There open his eyes
There ain't no more time
To tell him that I love him more
Than anything in the world
Is Daddy's little girl

Father (father) listen (listen)
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go
Father (father) save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
She was Daddy's Little Girl

Mmmmm Oh

Choir

This Picture Is Dedicated To Those Who Have Ever Had A Shitty Day.

Okay so I went to choir today, didn't have very much fun. I was really bored and I'm going to quit (don't try to talk me out of it this is my last quarter) I ate milk and cookies and I want to write about stuff but I can't and I....UGH! I don't want to go to school anymore, 'cause today right before lunch and then again before 5th period depression hit me. Like a wave I couldn't control it, it bum rushed me and left me shaky and on the brink of tears for reasons beyond me. When I was steady I went on with my day and I was fine until the next time. But ugh...maybe I'll just stay in y head from the time my alarm clock goes off until I get home and crawl into my bed @ which time I'll leave again and restart the cycle. "The Counselor" says that I should spend some time here just to keep up with things. But I don't want to because it hurts...*Sighs* I'll just come back every once in a while so that I'm doing bot h what I want and taking the suggestion of "The Counselor". So I'll probably post from my head when I'm at school. Speaking of school I have a "Student Led Conference" on Friday. It's a take-home thing though so there won't be any teachers there. Now I'm going to do something I have been wanting to do. It's probably very dumb and it won't do much but it's another "publicity stunt" I'm going to print out my blog address and put it into random people's lockers tomorrow at lunch. I don't know what will happen and I'm not expecting much but I want it to be something good. If not oh well. I guess I'll go now. And do something...or something...Here's a pic:It reminds me of the voices.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: Singing makes me tired.

Nothing To Do With Me.

The following poem/thingy has nothing to do with me, though I did write it. This is the morbid poem thingy I was talking about yesterday and don't worry about me because I like life too much for me to do any of the things listed in the following poem. Okay? All of those I know that may freak out about this please don't worry 'cause like I said I like life too much for this to happen. I think the only person I've talked about this poem to is "The Counselor" and he said it scared him too. But I explained it to him and now he understands. But he also only read the unedited version. I don't think this version is as scary. So...here goes...

"My Note"

Created By: Sacred Secret

I ran all the possibilities through my head
I wrote them down in script.
I thought about the people that would be affected
But figured my pain was greater
Than any, they could know.
I did it very quiet
I left them in the dark
The paper lay beside the spot where I would fall.
For a moment more I thought of them
The people I held close.
Of all the good times and the smiles
I thought of all the children I had yet to have
The significant other that would never hold me close
I thought of my Mother and what she would think when they found me
My Father and his tears.
Then the darkest angel came into my thoughts.
Their face blurred my vision and they whispered my name
I trembled and lost control of my legs.
Tears streamed down my cheeks
I screamed
“Don’t come any closer! You have done enough!”
And they stared in disbelief
I brought it to my head
Felt it swirl in my loose grasp
I pressed the cold steel to my temple
And adjusted my grip
“Please...”
They whispered as I closed my eyes
“This can’t go on you’ve hurt me enough.”
I said calmly
As my baby sisters little hands reached up at me in my mind
For the last time.
I heard my older brothers deep laugh and remembered the vibration in his chest from it.
For the last time.
I opened my eyes and stared straight at my dark angel
I told them to look
Look at what they have done.
I told them not bring another this fate.
And I released the blast into my own head.
I saw the ceiling
I could hear my dark angel scream my name
I saw my blood pool around me
Felt it mat my hair
Then I was cold and that was the last I felt.
I saw my baby sister again
I saw my brothers disapproving frown.
Saw my Mother and Father curled into themselves bawling.
I saw my dark angel and me on the swings of the schoolyard.
Saw myself as a child.
And in that moment I actually
Regretted Everything.
As I continued falling into what seemed to be an increasing cold
I wished I could go back if only for a moment
And rewrite my note…
But now I can’t
And this is what I have left them…

“Dear those I thought cared,
How could you have been so cold? Didn’t you care?
Obviously not or else, I would still be sitting there talking to you instead of you reading this smiling. Though you’re probably enjoying this, watching my blood seep from my wounds to pool at your feet. I hope you have fun at the party celebrating my death.
To My Angel, I sincerely hope…
You take full blame.”

There you have it. Please don't freak out, as I said. Take it in, and comment. Thank You.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: I actually edited this poem. I don't ever edit anything most of the time.

Hey Look!

I'm having a good day. And I don't want anything to ruin it because they have been so few and far between these past days. Right now life is good and there is nothing negative on my mind. I love it. I've been at my friends for winter break and I had mad fun. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Lol and all the people that tried to comment but couldn't don't be discouraged! Sometimes Blogger just hates everything and wants to be Emo so just try again some other time! And I found out that more than just one person reads my blog! Yay 'You know who'!!! I luvs ya!! I forgot what I was gonna say. I was writing a poem in my head but its morbid and unedited and it doesn't make any sense so you don't get to read it yet. I'm gonna go do other stuff now so I'll posty posty later okay? Okay. Peace

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I'm not sure which world I like more, the one in my head or my "reality"

...

(unedited)

I don't know who'ss winning or losing in this situation but I know its not both at the same time because if it was then we wouldn't be so confused, he wouldn't be so pissed off, and I wouldn't be so irritated. How dare he be mad at me! Like he couldn't have this coming when I told him! When we broke up the first damn time I told him: "YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM ME I BRING BAD NEWS AND CONFUSION!" did his dumbass listen? God no! Jesus he acts like its all my fault I wuite clearly remember giving him full warning and a clear chance to get the hell away but did his stupidass take the hint? Nooooo of course not he just figures I'm lying to him and I don't have aduquate reason to break up with him becuase "I'm crazy blah blah blah" You know "crazy" people normally know what they're talking about. Someone should listen to them one day and find out. But "crazy" people make "sane" people feel crazy so they don't talk to them I guess because they don't want to admit their dumb. Well I'm gonna go now. Peace

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I Hate Life.

Updation

I don't know if that's really a word but I like it. And as for the updation in question...do you like? Comments and things please!

P.S: This isn't a real post so you don't get a secret

I'm Changin' Some Things...

Where will it go from here? Where will they stop?

Sigh...

I'm happy/frustrated because someone other than Fange' read my blog (Thank you) and Blogger hates me right now and I can't do anything!! This is the third time I've written this. Maybe I'm the incompetent one but good lord! Was I mean to it? Why does it hate me? I'll have to thoroughly edit this later when I get home so you can get all the cool stuff. I was going to post a picture and a poem/story/song thingy but as I said Blogger hates me right now and I can't do anything. I'll see you all later I guess.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret


P.S: I know I'm a good singer but when other people say it and I agree out loud I'm conceited, when I don't agree I don't know how to take compliments.

P.P.S: I love dual meanings (especially the gross ones)

Publicity

I'm handing out my web address to the people I know will read it. This is a big step for me especially since I've been putting my actual secrets on here. Oh I hope I'm not making a huge mistake. I'm only giving it to people who have Info Tech, and I think I can trust. My mom already has the site address but she doesn't come here she just wants to show her friends we have a "close" relationship. My horoscope says I'm not supposed to talk to Scorpio's (my Mom) I'm a Capricorn and it says we are incompatible. But I guess whatever is whatever. I'm working in my Geography Final right now because the Voice that was here last night didn't finish (she looked exhausted, and yet so happy) I love having my music with me because I can block out all the stupidity around me. But I guess sometimes I just want to get lost in my own little world where no one can bother me except for the people I want to. I don't know why I pretty much only post during Info Tech but that's just because it's easier I think. A lot of people don't understand what having a "blog" is, but I tell them it's just like MySpace. Except less stress and less popularity. I have a blog so I can release myself and let someone else read it without knowing who it was that read it. I suppose I should go now. Peace Out 07'!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I still like my Ex-Boyfriend but I'm afraid I'll confuse him (and me) if we go out again.

Ephebiphobia

Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers

I'm bored today, and I'm not sure whats different about today either. Maybe I'm just not feelin' it today. By It I mean that vibe you get when you know your alive. In Info Tech class right now and Mr.Urner is teaching us how to take notes (because we don't know how to do that. @_@) I've also found an interesting quote that I am supposed to save. I'll post it:

"It's hard to believe that moments that once brought a smile to my lips now bring tears to my eyes." -- Suketsu Tenshi Aleandera

Don't steal it, because it isn't yours and you didn't say it. I'm tired now. I want to write stuff but I can't because I don't know what to write. I want to read something but I can't because it will look like I am not paying attention. I talked to my dad online the other night and I never want to do it again. Just because of how stupid he is 'sometimes' (because he isn't dumb all the time...at least I'd like to believe so) I want to cry but I can't because I don't know how in a sense. That's my secret for today. That I can't cry. No matter how hard I try to I just can't. Crying pisses me off for some reason and when I do it I hate myself for crying in the first place and hate myself for not being able to show the emotion others can. When I can though...when I am on the brink of tears I hold them back, even though I know I won't be able to do it later. I should stop explaining this because I'm going to regret doing so later.
I have a question for you all, what would you want your epitaph to say? For those who don't know what and epitaph is look at the bottom of the page for "Word Of The Day" I haven't changed it in a while so those who frequent that section of the blog I'm sorry. Now I want to post this before I have to type it again because I think the computers are going to "mysteriously" go out again like on Friday.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Crying pisses me off, but when I can't cry I hate myself.

Celebrity Deathmatch

I'm watching Celebrity Deathmatch and it's funny. If you've never seen it before (you live under a rock) it's about clay celebrities beating the living hell out of each other. It's great. So yeah. I haven't posted a picture in a while and that one's pretty good. I like it anyway. So how are you all? I'm fineish.

I'd tell you but I don't really want to. I'm only posting 'cause I'm bored. See you all later.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret


P.S. I'm jealous of my best friends body, and I hate my own.

P.P.S:
“Large fibs; offing eye theodicy zero nigh ash one region black panther. “ --- Half-Witt & Fange'