Ephebiphobia

Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers

I'm bored today, and I'm not sure whats different about today either. Maybe I'm just not feelin' it today. By It I mean that vibe you get when you know your alive. In Info Tech class right now and Mr.Urner is teaching us how to take notes (because we don't know how to do that. @_@) I've also found an interesting quote that I am supposed to save. I'll post it:

"It's hard to believe that moments that once brought a smile to my lips now bring tears to my eyes." -- Suketsu Tenshi Aleandera

Don't steal it, because it isn't yours and you didn't say it. I'm tired now. I want to write stuff but I can't because I don't know what to write. I want to read something but I can't because it will look like I am not paying attention. I talked to my dad online the other night and I never want to do it again. Just because of how stupid he is 'sometimes' (because he isn't dumb all the time...at least I'd like to believe so) I want to cry but I can't because I don't know how in a sense. That's my secret for today. That I can't cry. No matter how hard I try to I just can't. Crying pisses me off for some reason and when I do it I hate myself for crying in the first place and hate myself for not being able to show the emotion others can. When I can though...when I am on the brink of tears I hold them back, even though I know I won't be able to do it later. I should stop explaining this because I'm going to regret doing so later.
I have a question for you all, what would you want your epitaph to say? For those who don't know what and epitaph is look at the bottom of the page for "Word Of The Day" I haven't changed it in a while so those who frequent that section of the blog I'm sorry. Now I want to post this before I have to type it again because I think the computers are going to "mysteriously" go out again like on Friday.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Crying pisses me off, but when I can't cry I hate myself.

Celebrity Deathmatch

I'm watching Celebrity Deathmatch and it's funny. If you've never seen it before (you live under a rock) it's about clay celebrities beating the living hell out of each other. It's great. So yeah. I haven't posted a picture in a while and that one's pretty good. I like it anyway. So how are you all? I'm fineish.

I'd tell you but I don't really want to. I'm only posting 'cause I'm bored. See you all later.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret


P.S. I'm jealous of my best friends body, and I hate my own.

P.P.S:
“Large fibs; offing eye theodicy zero nigh ash one region black panther. “ --- Half-Witt & Fange'

Water Bottle

There was a much better version of this post that I was in the process of writing before this nimrods in my class restarted ALL the computers by turning off the main power. God I could strangle them! I want to switch out of this class but I can't yet. I have to wait. I don't think they'll let me switch anyway it's not important. Anyway this post WAS about

Water Bottles
Fears
Epitaphs
Dumbasses
Bathrooms

But now it's not because I don't want to write all of that over again. But because their stupidity isn't fair to you, I'll post all my fears (some of them I just like the sound of)

Favorite/Self Phobias:
1. Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself
2. Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
3. Achluophobia- Fear of darkness
4. Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.
5. Anglophobia- Fear of pain.
6. Atelophobia- Fear of imperfection.
7. Belonephobia- Fear of pins and needles.
8. Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness.
9. Catagelophobia- Fear of being ridiculed.
10. Chronophobia- Fear of time.
11. Daemonophobia- Fear of demons.
12. Eremophobia- Fear of being oneself or of loneliness.
13. Gerontophobia- Fear of old people or of growing old.
14. Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666.
15. Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
16. Hypegiaphobia- Fear of responsibility
17. Isolophobia- Fear of solitude, being alone.
18. Kakorrhaphiophobia- Fear of failure or defeat.
19. Lygophobia- Fear of darkness.
20. Microphobia- Fear of small things.
21. Monophobia- Fear of solitude or being alone
22. Nyctophobia- Fear of the dark or of night.
23. Uranophobia- Fear of heaven.
24. Parturiphobia- Fear of childbirth.
25. Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.
26. Phengophobia- Fear of daylight or sunshine.
27. Poinephobia- Fear of punishment.
28. Pyrophobia- Fear of fire.
29. Sciophobia, Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows.
30. Selenophobia- Fear of the moon.
31. Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words
32. Teratophobia- Fear of bearing a deformed child or fear of monsters or deformed people.
33. Triskaidekaphobia- Fear of the number 13.
34. Zelophobia- Fear of jealousy.
35. Zeusophobia- Fear of God or gods.

Well that's all you get because I'm feeling pissed off and lazy, like I said, and I don't want to write all that again. Maybe I'll do it later when I get home. Probably not though so don't hold your breath. *sighs* This was going to be a long post. That saddens me. W/e its too late now. Want to read part of a 'poem' I wrote? Of course you do. It's called "How Does It Feel?©"

"How Does IT Feel?©"

How does it feel to be left by the world?
So alone not even the rain will give you company.
So this is the life you’ve chosen little bird.
The kind that does not bring friendships but enemies instead
You’ve entered a land that no one is willing to walk through with you, even though you loath them all, still you wish for their company, don’t you?
So this is what you want, little bird?
This is what you’ve chosen.
Accept that now even the clouds shun you for your betrayal.
You shall live for neither side.
Nor shall you die for either.
You have chosen this path, little bird.

A destiny you must live with.

What do you think? I like it but I don't think it's too good. I like the last one better, you know the one I'm talking about? "Let's Go To Paradise". I like that one because a lot of other people like it. I showed it to almost everyone in my fifth period class. A lot of them laughed at the title though, but they can kiss my ass. There's only a couple minutes of class left so I guess I should start wrapping things up. How are you all? I'm fine. From now on at the end of my posts I'm going to put one secret that I have. That way I can feel better and begin my new years resolution. I started working on it late because most people have broken theirs by this point. Okay see you all later.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S. I lie to my loved ones more than I lie to my enemies.

Let's Go To Paradise

I wrote this yesterday after talking to a couple of the voices. I guess you could say what we talked about inspired me....here you go:

Let’s Go To Paradise.©

Take me away to a place I can feel
Where the winds and the rains are forever calm
Where the grass is green on both sides of the fence
Where no matter how long you’re in the tub you never wrinkle up.

Take me away to a place I can live
Where children can fufill all their dreams
Where adults always have enough money
Where the elderly are not taken for granted or given limits.

Take me away to a place that doesn’t hurt
Where teenage hearts can prosper
Where the widowded can find love again
Where children and ‘puppy love’ are taken seriously

Take me away to a place far away
Where the people are new
Where everyone knows your name
Where the coffee shops are different and there isn’t one Starbucks

Take me away to Paradise
Where I can meet with my loved ones again
Where life doesn’t seem so pressured
Where you and I can rest peacefully together every morning and play every night.

Take me away to a place where we can be together

And not judged or told what we do is wrong because of our

Age, race, backgrounds, raisings, income, clothing, friends, parents,
or living status.

Take me away, and I’ll take you and together we can play in the neverending field.
Take me away from my problems and I’ll take you
Take me away.
And I’ll take you.

I hope you like it, and for the people who inspired it I hope its good.

Time has been flying by really fast today. I took my math final and...*shudders* I'd rather not relive the moment. I have my music today. ^_^ I'm happy. And I haven't gotten it taken away! But I don't want to jynix myself so Shhh! Buwahaha hey you know what's really gross? Thinking about my ex-boyfriends' mom doing his step dad. *gags* Yuk. So grody. I'm telling you because my mom told me yesterday. Ick ick ick. SO nasty. Anyway, I've got to study for my Info Tech final. PEACE! (try to get that image out of your mind ^_~)

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: Calm Down '07, its gonna be O.K.

No Musick...

I have no music because the banned it in the Exploration academy and I don't want it taken away from me. :( I'm very sad and very bored...I'm bringing it tomorrow.

Bored Out Of My Ever-Lovin' Mind,
Sacred Secret

Color Quiz!!

Personality Analysis of Sacred Secret.
Generated on Wed Jan 24 10:05:59 2007.

Sacred Secret's Existing Situation
Dissatisfied. The need to escape continued involvement with her present circumstances makes it imperative for her to find some solution.


Sacred Secret's Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.


Sacred Secret's Restrained Characteristics
Feels that she is burdened with more than her fair share of problems. However, she sticks to her goals and tries to overcome her difficulties by being flexible and accommodating.
Trying to calm down and unwind after a period of over-agitation which has left her listless and devoid of energy. In need of peace and quiet; becomes irritable if this is denied him.


Sacred Secret's Desired Objective
Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feeling into which she can blend. Responsive to anything esthetic and tasteful.


Sacred Secret's Actual Problem
Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.



Take the ColorQuiz yourself right now!

Flying Without Wings

Flying Without Wings Lyrics

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the faces of their children
Some find it in their lovers eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you find that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing in every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the works of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You'll find it in the deepest friendships
The kind you cherish all your lives
And when you know how much that means
You have found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cuz who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete

But for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place
It's the little things that only I know

Those are the things that make you mine, all mine
And it's the flying without wings
'Cuz you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
You're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy it brings
I'm flying without wings



TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Alright Cool

(unedited)
6oth post. Alright woot woot!

So anyway second post today I know kinda weird for me but I want to write. I don't know about what. I look over my old writings and I hate them. I mean I really loathe them with a passion, but I can't delete them off my computer because I know I'll regret doing that later. I'm bored though. Io should do my homework and study for my many tests but I don't really want to'cause that requires movement but so does eating. *sighs* I guess I should get to it...Oh yeah my english project is due tommorow I think instead because Mr.Sampson wants the essay to be good. I'm watching the news I know kill me now but I can't help it 'cause it's on. I'm so tired and I've been asleep for like four hours. I feel really heavy too. I think I'm going to leave. Yeah I have to work anyway.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Hey People

Hey guys what's up? I'm doing alright I guess. I mean nothings really pullin me down but I already feel under. You know? I feel like I can't get back to where I was before. But I guess that's okay as long as I don't feel any worse. I got new songs for my iPod. They're good. I'm listening to "Welcome To The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. They're good. I like their music but some of it's weird. Kind of like that one guy on ABS. lol I love that. abs at ABS. Albino Blacksheep rules. So does Bored.com. That place is awsum too. I spelt awesome stupid. Does anyone know why people have to be illiterate on the Internet? I just don't get hat like it takes so much more effort to put an 'o' in 'you'. And about iPods and other MP3 Players...people don't blast those tiny little speakers. If you have t he big ones (Fange') you can play it as loud as you want because no one can hear it but you. I know rock songs and songs that you really like you want really loud but when your around other people or somewhere quiet...don't be stupid. Thank you n_n. Now for other news my ass hurts and I have to work on these essays for class tomorrow so I'll talk to you all later. Peace!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S.: Pssstt! HeyFange'....HI!! ^___^

School Again

Well I'm back at school now and I'm working on my essays for tommorow. Ehhh I'm not doing well I only have two done out of six! Plus I think I bombed (did badly) on my math test today in third period. *sighs* As long as I'm not failing. And Finals are coming up. I need stuff for my diaorama for English class plus the essay to go with it. Jeez I'm shoulder deep in homework. I hope next semester isn't so bad...


TWMA (Maybe)
Sacred Secret

P.S.: Don't go to high school it's bad for your back _-_,

Oh My God It's Still Snowing!

It's still snowing guys. And I've got today off again. Brr it's cold, I'm just watching the snow fall and I'm cold. I think after it stops it should stay for a few more days. Not that I don't want to go back to school....<_<>_> You know though I can't help but think when I'm going to get out of school in June. I dunno. My cousin, Randy, got back from New York yesterday and so he's in the living room on the phone right now. He's always on the phone and bothering Nightmare. *sighs* my poor cat. Well it's cold and I'm bored. So guess what I'm going to do? I'm gonna crawl back into my bed and turn on my music. Hey Fange' I heard you have school today. Sorry, :( I love you.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Editing

Hey, I'm editing my blog. So if you experience some weirdness that's why. Just refesh it a couple times or come bac later. No big. Tell me how you like the changes!


Mixin' It Up,
Sacred Secret

Quick

(unedited)

Today is weird so far and I'm not sure why. It just is. I think it's because I don't have my music with me. And I'm actually aware of what is going on around me. *shrugs* I dunno. But it's weird. The crazy sub choir teacher is gond now (FINALLY) and Rosey is back! Yeesss! IT's so great. He had a baby and his name is Jeremiah, born on December 12 2006. He's almost two months old already and Rosey is just coming back! Oh well. lol when I have kids I'll probably quit my job for a year or two! I'd be too attached to go back to work. Unless it's just me. Then I wouldn't have a choice. So I haven't updated in a while, sorry about that. I've just been busy. Midterms of sorts are coming up now that the holidays are gone gone gone. I'll try to post more often, and tell you guys more. Right now I've only got a couple minutes left of class to tell you that a guy in my choir has been hitting on me (I think) so far he's gone out with two different girls in the choir. Maybe I'm trippin' but I think he's trying to get to me. O_o I hope I'm mistaken. That weird girl that sits next to me is talking but I'm not really paying attention, and it smells like hairspray...I blame Ciara for that. Lakeyah, my ex-best friend is in the doorway withher weird pink back thing talking to the kids in this class. Well I've only got five more minutes of this pathetic excuse for a class. Timwe to pack up and bolt. (Science is next)

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Dreams

What wonderful things they are that allow us to live and yet die in the same scene. Dreams are blissful unrealities that unable us to live out all of our dreams and all of our fears. Who would want to live out their own fears though? Someone who has never experienced fear, one who has yet to experience pain. A child. Though I would never wish any fear or pain upon a child I would like for them to experience the feelings at least once, if not in life than in their dreams. Dreams are the core of your imagination, if you do not dream you possibly are not as creative a you could be. But I digress. Or perhaps I don’t. Is it not possible that rambling is only a forming idea? Quickly ever so quickly does it for and take over thine mind with overwhelming anticipation and giddiness. Soon after this idea is formed you would wish to carry it out would you not? By doing so possibly giving someone else an idea, being creative is a wonderful thing, truly it is. Maybe you can figure out a way to dream and be awake at the same time? Like breathing and talking, like relaxing and working. Things that wouldn’t normally come together until it is invented or found through accidental experimentation. Alright my odd rambling is over for the time being. Farewell.

TWMA,
SACRED SECRET

Who's an Internet Whore?

I am!

God I don't think I could live very long without going insane if I did not have this glorious thing called the internet. I may try and act like I don't really need it, but god almighty is it an ever important thought in my head. I don't have a MySpace or anything but I'm always wondering if I missed something, or if I have an important e-mail waiting for me, did I miss something on my calrendar? Oh god the inhumanity. I think the government should issue everyone an up to date working computer with DSL or better. I know I'm crazy but you all should have known that by now!! So how was your holiday? My Christmas was beautiful, I got almost everything I wanted. I got my iPod, and my stereo, plus I got mass Nightmare Before Christmas stuff (including a belt, a stocking, a keychain, some magnets, chapstick, stationary, ect) and I got a bunch of gift cards ( I LOVE GIFT CARDS) which allowed me to buy two new video games. Gods I love Christmas and now my b-day is almost here. I love holidays. I love a lot of things now that I think about it. So I guess I'm going to go surf my beloved internet until the sun comes up!! OH Yeah!

Internet Whore Forever,
Sacred Secret

Merry Christmas!

Hey! It's almost christmas, and since I probably won't post again until maybe my birthday, I'll leave yowith something that will entertain you. RANDOM STUFF FROM INFO TECH CLASS! Yaayy!! Okay, here we go!
This first selection is called "Away" I don't remember why...

"Away©"

Do you know how I feel when you touch me?

Do you know I can barely hold back tears?

Do you know how much you remind me of the things I used to know?

Do you know that when you speak I shudder?

Do you know how much your voices are a like?

The only difference I'm afraid is you've taken longer, loved me shorter.

Can you believe that there are people like me?

People whom just want to be truly loved. I cannot believe it has taken me so long.

To realize that I have done this by myself.

Maybe I should go away and try to live alone by myself away from me away from you…

Can you believe that I’ve been waking in the middle of the night, just to make sure your arm is still around my waist?

Just to make sure you are still holding me tightly?

To make sure that my body is still perfectly contoured to yours?

I can't believe I've made it this far...

Or that you've helped me reach it.

Well that was fun right? Kind of interesting if I do say so myself. Here's something else, this is called "Boredom" no wonder...

Once upon a time there was a magical greenbean. The magic greenbean got eaten one day and turned the cow that ate him into a frog that then got eaten by a snake that got eaten by another snake that got eaten by a crocodile that got killed and worn by some people that just happened to all be on the same plane that just happened to crash in the middle of the atlantic ocean. The moral of this story is: Run on scentences are bad for you, so watch your punctuation.

I was reaalllyy bored when I wrote that. Thus the title. This next thing is kind of a song kind of not. I'm not really sure what to call it. But it's technically titled "The End Of Humanity"

"The End Of Humanity©"

This is an end to humanity.

This is the end of my sanity.

This is the end, yes, this is the end.

This is the end of us all.
Can you feel it?

Can you feel hidden deep within your bones?

Can you feel it?

The sorrow searching for a home.
It’s such a feeling that it gives the reasoning to tell you this is the end.

This is the end.

This is the end of us all, us all.

This is the end of us all.
Must I say it again?

I will tell you only once more.

This feeling I’m getting is something I’m fretting.

Not something I can just ignore.
This is the end, yes, this is the end.

This is the end of us all, us all, this is the end of us all.

Morbid little tune isn't it? Well I think I'm doen now, that's all you get. So Merry Chrismahaunakwannzaka to you! lol I so stole that just now. And to answer a recent question Gaiety means cheerfulness and or merriment.

Alright, peace out everyone!

TWMA,

Sacred Secret!

P.S: And A Happy New Year!!!!

The Best Years

Song(s) Of The Day: "Through The Glass" --- Stone Sour & "Behind Blue Eyes" ---- Limp Bizkit

(unedited)
I was just looking at my stuff from elementary school and you know what? Those were the best years of my life. Minnimal drama, recess, cool teachers (mostly), little homework, field trips, man that was the best. I miss going to the Pacific Science Center in the spring and coming in from recess soaked with grass stains on my jeans from rolling around in the grass fields. I loved playing actual games in gym class and looking forward to it. I liked hanging out with my Real friends before/during/after school. I liked the simple gossip that didn't really matter. I though it was cool that it was okay for me to be out of the loop 'cause I wasn't the only one. I think my best experience in elementary school was the sixth grade. I learned a lot then, and I want to go back. But I don't want to feel the pain of splitting up again. That sucked. Me and my friends split up and went to different middle schools, but it's kind of okay now 'cause most of them go to my current school. Maybe I'm just feeling loathesome of my current situation right now, I don't know.

Phrase Of The Day: "Your only as good as what you create."

Punctuation Of The Day: "."

Well, I guess I'l go now. I've tidilated your senses enough. Oh btw check out those songs, okay? Their really awesome.



TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Jeez!

Holy crap can you believe it's almost Christmas already!? That went by hella fast. First I'm rolling down the street trying to go places after Thanksgiving then BOOM! It's Christmas time! Jeez...time needs to slow down a little bit I don't want to be older just yet. I like this age. I'm just settling into it. Doesn't it seem that way? You finally start telling people how old you really are because you haven't forgotten and you've got to start saying something else because your birthday came. It's insane. I know I know I don't have any reason to complain that I'm old but I feel like I can! Old people can't really complain either can they? What's so bad about being old other than you lose your flase teeth all the time and people start calling you gramps? I don't see a problem with being and old person who get's to sit on their butt all day and do whatever they please, be respected by total strangers 'cause your old. I like respect. I like being lazy. Being old sounds perfect to me! I could be wrong of course. Also, if young people and old people don't get along how come middle aged people who aren't kids anymore get along with old people? Is it because their about to be old? I dunno. Tell me if you find out. But then again I know alot of adults who hate old people, and they like seriously cannot stand them. It's funny sometimes. Well I guess I'll get to steppin now. I'm gonna go take a shower and eat some cereal. I like cereal. YEAH!


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Congratulations

Hey, how are things? Hope it's all well. My life has been busy. Or so it seems anyway. The voices lives are acting up again, and as much as I hate to admit it, and as mean as it probably is I love it when they have problems. It's so much more interesting that way becasue none of that ever happens to me. Sorry for those who are offened. I think I have a problem though. My ex-boyfriend and I seem to be hooking back up, not to go out again I can't do that. But we make a good couple when we're not dating. What sense does that make? And a guy I like is going to join the school choir next year, but I want to take French that year, what to do? EEK! Info Tech Teacher is coming g2g


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

I Like What You've Done With The Place!

So what do you think? This place doesn't look too shabby, eh? I like it. It satisfies me, now. OF course I'll have to change the background again soon and the word of the day is probably morew like the word of the week, but it's cool. I'm in Info Tech so I told me teacher I'm "researching website development using hands on techniques". lol he believes me. He also said I should carry a little notebook in my pocket for my ever flowing ideas. I guess it works 'cause I'm always wearing hoodies. So far my day's been alright. One of the Voices will be here later 'cause the way my room looks is pissing them off. (I'm okay with them cleaning my room! ^_^) So I'll be gone for a while after this class. I don't think I'll stay for science either. I'll just leave after I'm done with my blog. Does anyone know where/how you put your profile on this thing again? It was on there before but when I updated it went bye-bye. *tear* I'm sad now, we were so close!! Buwahahaha, I'm happy today I don't know why. Okay I guess I'll go now and I'll think I'll try and post later (after my room is clean) Peace!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S.: 14 days til Christmas!