Ramblings 1

I learned about Active Voice in World Lit. today.
Really interesting stuff that.
Also, an EXTREMELY difficult skill to master.
Apparently, Active Voice does not allow you to use "is", "have", "to be", or "are".
Words such as these weaken your writing.
These words make you appear uncertain about your point.
Which is completely unacceptable.
So, I will continue to practice this valuable skill.
Of course, this blog holds compilations of my thoughts, so I may not always post in Active Voice.
However, I will try.

Anyway.

"The girl with the Tokidoki bag, with sharpies shoved head down in their pocket and the little iconic figures swinging lazily from their silver chain, plodded slowly down the stairs before me. As my foot hits the bottom floor I dart toward the glass double doors serving as my exit. Sunshine blinds me as I step outside, momentarily embraced by the emitted warmth. However my advancing steps carry me farther into the courtyard and the cold wintry air slides against my skin like an old lover. Eager, impatient, startling. I shiver against it and step onto the bus awaiting my arrival. Tossing my bag into the seat, I slide in after and tuck my knees up to my chest, resting them lightly against the seat preceding mine. Before the others can manage to sit down, I crack open my latest reading material, pop in my headphones and prepare for the thirty minute ride home."

How was that? I think it sounds alright. Of course, I haven't read it yet. Cause I just wrote it and I never reread immediately after writing. I dunno why. Just don't. Of course, spell check is necessary. But that's different. Don't you think? Well, now I have ramen and I don't need you anymore. lol j/k

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

I have to write a poem for school. Soon as i left my classroom, they flooded me. Swamped my mind making me mentally gasp for breath. So it shouldn't be hard.

I swear! The kids at my school wear the WEIRDEST shit!

What's In It?

This post is really about nothing. I might write again later. When I get on to do my homework.
Ugh.
Anyway. I'm just doing this to let you know that
1) I'm sleepy
2) I dislike newspaper
3) MRHS newspaper sucks
4) I really have to pee
5) I'm going to sleep.


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Shower

What do you do in the shower?
I mean, other than wash your ass.
No not THAT.
Do you think?
Or sing?
Or meditate?
Or relax?
What do you do in there?

Some people are only in the shower for about five minutes, so I know they're "in and out" kind of people. But others, like me, spend forever in the shower. I know what I do. But what do you do?
When I'm in the shower, I think about stuff. I make decisions, and explore my mind. I meditate under the hot spray and come to terms with myself. I reassure myself that I am a beautiful woman, no matter what the world says.
On the occasion, I destroy myself in the shower.
I tear myself apart, nit-picking every single thing I could possibly find wrong with myself. My body, my mind, my voice. Anything. Afterwards, I rebuild myself into what I want to be. I give my self image wings to grow stronger and give myself the courage and determination to become that daring, compassionate, responsible, humble woman I strive to be.
I want to be healthy, and strong.
I want to be mentally stable, in an unstable world.
I want to be relaxed, when everyone else is stressed.
I want to be the rock, when everyone has crumbled to pebbles.
I want to be the strength, the courage, the audacity, they need to be themselves.
I want to be a better person than I am now.

I want little girls to know just how beautiful they are. Despite what society may say.
Every girl is beautiful. Every girl has a right to learn, and be free, and speak her mind.


These are the things I think about in the shower.
If I had a waterfall, I would be president.

What do you do in the shower?

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Note: if you are in high school, wear clothing from your high school. Not your middle school, or your elementary school. Thanks. Love Sacred Secret

Happy Halloween, everyone. Hope your holiday is full of fun and surprises. Be safe, and have a wonderful fright filled night.

No, I didn't have any fun. I was too busy looking for You.

Dark Clouds...

Dark Clouds slither across the sky, leaving darkness and dreary people in their wake. Lower, the rain is falling, forcing the beat of the world to shift and accept its hollow pitpitpitpitpit. Above, the Moon sits in a black sky, reigning over her starlit children like a queen with no king to question her demands. The Moon shines brightly down on the weary world of bustling people too busy to look up and notice her in all of her glorious shining. Full, and round she watches her children, protecting them from those that would do them harm. Waiting and watching, she sits in the sky surrounded by the children that have departed the world and now only reflect her brilliance. Surrounded and alone, she remains vigilant in her watch. Down, down, down...below the Goddess of the Moon, far lower than the Dark Clouds and through the rain and its demanding beat....there is a child. This child lives on a gray sidewalk, bordered by an asphalt street. Surrounded and alone in an enormous city, with people passing and stepping over him day after day. He is waiting for his Mother to claim him, he believes. Waiting for Her to come take him home and say "I've missed you, my precious child." Month after year, he sits and he waits on the gray sidewalk bordered by the onyx asphalt. His bed, covered in dried gum and dirt, a place where people relieve themselves in every way and spit, on his pillow. His blanket, the warm summer breeze or a thrown away sheet. Never to be dirtied is his candle of hope, which he holds close to his heart, never to be snuffed. With each year his flame flickers and dims, the flame itself, losing hope. Never the boy. The child only knows loneliness. Only fear, uncertainty, sickness, cruelty. This child, born of the night, son of the Moon, never knows love or compassion. Only hardship and heartbreak. Faith, drives him on. Motivates him to find his next meal. Gives him energy to scavenge something to pawn for a few dollars. Faith. His best friend, dies. Faith meets her tragic end at the hand of this child's own brother. The child's brother drown poor Faith, held her under until she ceased her needless struggling and the last wisp of air floated from her paling lips. Faith had asked for it, however. She said she was so tired, so worn from the boy's constant questioning...she needed an end. A true escape. So Misery held her under, and gave her that release.



TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Going to the fair. How cool right? I'm excited cause who doesnt love the fair? Rides, games, food! Yay! Are you going too? See you there! Twma, Sacred Secret <3

Dr.Pepper

I'm drinking Dr.Pepper. I should be doing my homework. I'll do that in a second. Anything cool happen to you today? I'm sponsoring a child in Zimbabwe. Her name is Rendani, she's eight years old. She's pretty cool. I'm writing a story. Its pretty cool. I'm writing a different story. Its pretty cool. I gotta go now. See you.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Beauty In The Breakdown

Hey guys! How's it goin? Been a while right. Summer is almost over and its really exciting. How was your summer? Hopefully more exciting than mine. haha I didn't do a whole lot. Nothing really amazing happened that I can think of right now. Uhmmmmz....I gotta type up a lot of short stories and poems that got neglected during the school year that I just haven't gotten around to in the summer. Procrastination is a horrible thing kids! haha anyway, I dont know what to talk about anymore. Sooo...maybe I'll post some Random Thoughts later. Peace out flowers!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

I spent today with my mom and my cousin. It was really fun. And i hope to do it again. What did you do today? Twma!

Happy 4th everyone! I'm in Yelm, WA. Hanging out with the fam. What are you doin? Hope you have a safe and happy holiday!!

So here it is.

Welcome, my friends, to this final summer. This final wave of "I'm going to school next year." The last summer where you can turn to your school mates and say "See you next year!" This is it. We're almost done. I hope I'll see you there. At the end of the road, when everything is said and done. This upcoming year is going to bring challenges that we could not imagine. But also new experiences, saddened days, happy memories. So lets hear it for Senior Year. Let's congratulate the Seniors long gone, Good Luck in the world! Gain knowledge for us and have helpful advice to hand out when we reach that point. Hooray! For Senior Year! For the last leg of the race! The final lap! Hooray! Time for relaxation and fun. Time for parties and final final exams. Time for you to start appreciating how much you really loved your high school. Memorize your fight song. Show more spirit than anyone else. It's your school now. Officially, you are the oldest, strongest, most powerful force on campus. You Are A Senior. A formidable force. But in your head-spinning new amount of power, remember how you were as an underclassmen and pay attention to the younger kids coming in as Freshmen. Make it a goal to be nicer to them than your Seniors were. Be kind, they are just as frightened and cocky and stupid as you were. They know just as much. And will do just as many stupid and immature things as you. So be patient with them, give them advice. Even if they don't ask for it. Because they'll listen. Whether it looks like they are or not. Be Cool, Class Of 2010. We've got this in the bag. So raise your heads high! And strut your new found stuff! We've only got 180 days to flaunt and brag and hit kids up-side the head! So tell off that teacher you hate. Kick that garbage can. Write on that window. Do it. But be cool about it. And when you are finished. Look back on that year and think....

"This is my life, am I who I want to be?"


2010, Here We Go Again,
Sacred Secret

Thoughts #1

*Disclaimer: Yes. I wrote this. No, I don't know what it means so don't ask. I don't know who it pertains to, so don't guess. It's just writing. Read it.*



In all the time I've taken to bring you home to me I've only found that I'm falling more in love with you.
I've got to let you go so I can breathe.
Let me be addicted, but let me escape your orbital pull.
I'm just a moon searching for a planet.
I've gotten caught on a few but gravity pulled us a part.
I wish there was a way to defy.
Nature. Society. Nature. Society.
Bring it down on itself. Bring it down.
Let the creatures of this place dwell without the fear I know you hold.
Somewhere deep inside me is a song I can't sing. I'm waiting for you to shout it out loud.
Let me breathe and rid myself of this addiction to your blood.
Your soul.
Voice. Eyes. Kindness.
Nature. Society. Nature. Society.
Bring it down on itself. Bring it down.
Down. Down.
Bring it down.
Like a bucket of air cause I'm drowning in here.
Give me a needle to relieve this pressure.
Building in my chest.
Its hurting. Not helping.
In this hour of sin.
Can we forget where we're going, where we're from, where we've been?
Let's focus on now cause I'm in your pull.
Spinning, spinning, spinning.
If I stop my top will drop.
Ending it all but I guess that's good.
So put your finger on it ans stop me.
Bring it down on itself. Bring it down.


TWMA,
Sacred_Secret

So Often

Its been a while. I just wanted to let you know I'm alive and working on something new! Fange' knows. And if I can get Perspective's email address....he will know too. But We'll see. I've noticed recently that life is easier if you're not IN it. Its waaaaay easier to stand on the sidelines and watch other people kick their feelings and hearts around. Of course, much like a train wreck, its hard to look away. Harder still not to groan in sympathy pain when somebody gets kneed in the jewels. You know what I mean?

Summer summer summer tiimmeee....

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

One armed hugs are the best. Chopped and Screwed.

I didn't Blog like i said i would. But i got caught up in Hw that i didn't REALLY finish. Tomorrow is gonna suck. And Its my fault. FML. twma

In The End Its All Fiction

“And after everything we’ve been through…after all that I’ve done and all that you’ve said…this is it?” My hands were trembling, my throat going dry while my eyes started to sting with unshed tears. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I needed to though. My mind needed what he was saying to be reinforced. He could only look down at his shiny red Jordans and shrug. I hated him for it, his indecisive head bowing. But you fell in love with that... I thought, the words whispering in my mind. Reminding me that I had, though I didn’t want to admit it, fallen in love with him. Ha! A little late now! He looked at me then, lifting his chocolate brown eyes to mine. I saw what looked like unsure, almost unstable resolve in his eyes. In his mind, he was set to do this. To end this relationship in which he obviously felt was one sided. I couldn’t hold his gaze. Couldn’t look him in the eye knowing that this…this tragic moment…this blunt ending was my fault. I had brought this on myself and it was not within my power to bring it back. I’d fucked up with him.

He was done.

My hand reached up and clasped the blood red garnet handing from around my neck. Who got that for you? I could feel his mood switch to angry as I played with the fragile chain. He noticed I hadn’t worn anything he’d gotten me. Honestly, that would bother me too. Since he wore the cologne I bought him everyday, and made it a point to let me know he still wore it. Even now, as the light summer breeze brushed past me, his scent was still heavy with it. The reason I hadn’t worn the necklace…or the ring, especially the ring, was because I was afraid of losing them, or breaking them. I had bad experiences with jewelry and didn’t want to have to tell him I lost the gorgeous ring and accidently snapped the thin gold chain. But communication was never our strong point, so I guess he thought I just didn’t like them. I fisted my hand around the little gem, and tugged gently in anxiousness. I had to force myself to drop my hand away. This is exactly why you can’t have nice things. I scolded myself and glanced up at him. His eyes and turned molten, churning with an unseen anger an unreleased sorrow. I wanted then to wrap my arms around him and shelter myself in his arms, but the way he was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at me said he wouldn’t have it. I bit my lip. It was really over, and there was nothing I could do to sweep it under the rug. I looked back down and studied the grass. Some ants were dragging a wasp to their nest and I shuddered, looking away. Gross.

When he finally spoke, I flinched his words startling me. “Come on, I’ll take you home.” I snapped my head up, my eyes searching his. I wasn’t ready to leave yet. I was still trying to figure out how to make this right. Not yet! Let me stall a little longer, please! But he was already walking toward his car across the beach parking lot. The gold paint glinted in the sunlight, waiting for me like a hellish carriage. Ready to drag me down. I reached out for him, and grabbed his sleeve, making him pause. “What?” he growled, his tone harsh. “Can we…make one more round first? I’m not ready.” He took a moment to debate if he wanted to walk up and down the beach with me again.

The verdict was positive.

He turned around and watched me for a second, then took off running toward the sand. Confused, I ran after him. Our feet spitting up sand and rock behind us. He was pulling his shirt off and letting it fly behind him, followed by his shoes and socks. I took the hint, pulling off my shirt and shoes as well. As his undershirt finally hit the sand he was already diving into the water, I was right behind him. The water was cold against my skin as a dove deep beneath its surface. Memories swamped me as the water swept my hair back behind me and tightened my jeans to my legs. We had spent so many summers here, swimming, playing volleyball, having bonfires, and just walking along the water at midnight. When I finally came up for air, he was floating there in front of me. “You remember all the time we spent here?” He smiled, obviously enjoying the memories. I nodded and pushed some of my hair away from my face.

He swam closer and I knew if I was standing, my legs would have given out. He put his hand to my cheek and brushed his thumb over my lips, holding my eyes with his. I didn’t speak, didn’t move, didn’t look away from him as he slid his hand into my hair. I felt his fingers curl into it and fist at the back of my skull, a tight grip on my hair. No pain. His pulled my head back firmly, a steady weight pulling my hair back into the water. Gasping, I bared my throat to him, he held me in that position for a moment before kissing my neck softly. We stayed there for a moment, suspended in the water like photographs, his lips pressed to my neck, my hands clutching his shirt and my nails digging into his shoulders. What should have lasted an eternity only lasted seconds. He let me go, smiled that adorably sexy smile and dove under me, apparently finished. Sighing, I retreated under the water as well and let loose a painful scream that would scare someone outside of the water.

He didn’t hear.

When we resurfaced and gathered our clothes, we walked back to his car and he drove me home. It wasn’t a quiet ride, with his stereo blasting Eminem and T-Pain, with the windows down and the wind whipping past. My hair was almost dry when he pulled into my driveway, my mom’s little car waiting in the slanted drive. “See you.” He said as I got out and grabbed my backpack from the backseat. “Yeah..see you.” I mumbled, closing the door softly. As I made my way to the front door, he pulled out and returned his music to its maximum volume. I watched from the porch as he drove out of the cul-de-sac. I stood there in the summer heat, water still dripping down my legs, until I couldn’t hear the bass of his music anymore. When it was quiet again, I slipped inside and stayed there for the rest of the summer. That three months wasn’t nearly long enough..

TWMA

I'm at Fange's track meet today. Its nice out. She's doing really well too. I am getting bored though. My fave events are over untill long jump.:) twma!

Uhm...I guess I'm writing from my phone. Kinda cool. Probably always very brief.

Sick...?

So I'm sick. As an intermission to my poem and my weird Jesus story/dream. I thought since I'm feeling like death and sitting at the computer listening to music, I should blog. Everything other than me feeling like shit is good. there isn't a whole lot to tell you...if you give a shit, Tyler is dating Abby. .... Yeah thats what I said. But its all good. They're...happy. So thats all that matters. I was typing with one hand for a while and things were moving really slowly.
Its WASL week, in other news. And I don't have to get up until 930 (technically) 'cause school starts, for me, at 10. But I went today at normal time (its an option) and wandered around until I ran into a friend and we ended up in the Ceramics room with another friend. We made dumb stuff and *crosses fingers* hopefully they'll get fired. ^_^ That was fun, and tomorrow I'll probably go in at the same time to do it again. 'Cause it was really fun. How did your past weekend go? I don't want to talk about mine. What are you doing next weekend? Thats cool...Uh....The song I'm listening to right now is;
"1,2,3,4" by the Plain White T's.
Normally, I can't stand them. But its an alright song. And I had to see what the hype was about. Well I guess, I'll go now and maybe lie down or something. Ugh....

Twma,
Sacred Secret

Telephone 1

I was sitting on the couch sippin' a dry martini, and watchin some dumb horror movie on T.V, You know the ones where all the women are stupid and the men die? Yeah. Anyway, watchin T.V when the phone rings. -RING RING RING- Thanks. So, I glance over at the caller ID and it says 'Calling...Home.' Sighing, I picked it up and expected my mother to launch into some crazy rant about how my socks are always dirty or something. With my eyes trying to see my brain I spoke into the receiver my reluctant greeting; "Hello?"
"Hey, Kris. How're you doing?"
I pulled the phone away from my ear, placed a hand over the speaker, and looked down at the Caller ID again. It said 'Connected...Home.' It shifted looks between the ID and the receiver as though one of them was lying to me. I didn't know who this guy was, or how he got my number but it was freakin' me out. He sounded like he could be my older brother if I had one. I reconnected my ear to the phone, still watching the ID to reassure myself it stayed on 'Home'.
"Who is this?"
"Will you believe me if I tell you?"
I rolled my eyes. "Well it depends on who you think you are."
"To be honest, I know my name and I know who I am. I'm calling to answer your questions though so, My name is Jesus."
It couldn't help it, laughter exploded from me and I almost spilled my martini. It was a good couple minutes before I could breathe again and reply, "Your name is what? Your not serious!"
"I expected that response. You asked me my name and I told you."
"I didn't want you to lie to me."
"I would never. What reason do I have?"
"I dunno. Prank call?"
"Prank call? I don't have time for prank calls, Kris. How can I prove this to you?"
"What am I thinking right now?"
"Your very confused, nervous, afraid. You think I'm crazy. You think your paranoid. This could never happen. Do they have phones in heaven?"
"Holy shit!...er...sorry about that."
He laughs. "Its alright, I like that one."
So I'm sitting there, blinking with my mouth pulling its own goldfish act. "Wow...Okay so...what did you call for...Sir? Mister? Do I call you My Lord or something?"
He's still snickering on the other end of the phone...wherever the other end was... "Nah, Jesus works, or Son, or whatever. Call me John if you want."
"What about Smithy?" I had just finished playing 'Smithy's Quest' online a while ago.
"If you want."
"Right. Okay, Smithy, what did you call for?"
"You had a question."
"Do you call everyone that has a question?"
"Everybody gets one."
"Okay then...Wait one question or one call?"
"Well obviously you get more than one question."
"Oh."
"So?"
"Okay...Why is the sky blue?"
He sighs and there's some kind of rattling on the other end. "That's a fluke. The atmosphere is really reflective so its mimicking the color of the water."
"Really?"
"Well I'm not lying."
"Right Right. Sorry."
"Its fine. Next? C'mon give me something difficult."
"Does everyone have a soul?"
More rattling, "Yes. Your soul determines where you wind up in the afterlife. Heaven, Hell, Earth, Limbo."
"Shit, there's really a Hell?"
"Wal-Mart exists doesn't it?"
"True..."



TBC....

Begin It

Let me tell you this, in words you'll understand.
Where music fails, and pens run dry,
And the keys stick to the board.
When your paint brush busts,
Your charcoal snaps.
Your muse runs from you screaming.
Let me tell you this in wors you'll understand
Cause theres nothing in this word better than
What we've got.
You had it and lost it
I found you there
In the gutter of the City, where no one knows
Your there.
And you needed me so I lent a hand
But you pushed me away,
Said you could stand.
So I watched, and I waited
For you to make your move.
But still you sit there,
Reclined and Recluse.
What can I do?
To mend what they've broken,
Won't you give me that final token?
The gift that will lead me to my Paradise
the field of your heart.
Your soul, that is Light.
Let me find your fountain of tears
and drain it of its sorrow
Let not another teardrop fall
Unless it falls in joy.



Finish It.

YO ITS INSANE THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT PASSES WhEN YOU AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION.

really though. I'm seventeen. Its ridiculous.

Anybody seen "The Unborn"?

wanna see it REALLY bad.

But its whatever. How are you?
COMMENT! Just say hi. or something. Pwese?

Love,
Sacred Secret

Pssst!!!

Hey dude! Its snowing! In December! Holy cow! No really like, its snowing. We've had late start all week, yesterday school was closed. Today was late start then it started snowing hella hard and everybody went home. HAHAHA its awesome! Anyway, I figured I'd post again 'cause I have some time and nothing to do yet. I can't wait until Christmas, by the way. Its gonna be awesome. GIFTS. To be given! And gotten I'm sure but I'm not excited about those anymore. I want to show give gifts and see faces. YES! Its gonna be awesome. Now I have gifts for all the important people. My mom, Hito,Fange', John, Tyler, Lafa.* Everyone. All is well. ^_^ I'm excited!!! WOOHOO! I'm thinking that my gifts won't be as cool as other gifts but its the thought that counts right? MHM! I'm excited excited excited!!! I hope I'll be able to make it to Fange's this weekend. Cross your fingers!! Well I'm just here to tell you about the snow. Maybe I can get inspired today and look to a deeply neglected Cael. (SORRY! :( ) yup yup. See what I can do. So much free time, don't know what to do with myself. Keep it chill.

Bada bah bah bah!,
Sacred Secret

To Be

To be loved again.
Wanted again.
Remember what that feels like?
Warm arms wrap around you
Tender embraces
Fond memories
Someone to lean on in times of need.
To be wanted again.
To be loved again.
If only for a night.
Wouldn’t have to pay
For the acceptance I yearn for

It isn’t to be.
I’ve cursed myself to this.
No one to blame but my own calling
Now they all have fallen.
Those who called me by my name
Now lay in separate graves.
Those who call me now are whores.
Who want nothing more than coin.
Those I pay on the coldest nights
Have no name with which to turn my head

Every sigh I draw
Each moan and ragged panting
Scrapes raw at my soul
Lending me no breath of my own
Though my body strains and relaxes
Stress eased for a time
The weight upon my shoulders
Only grows heavier.
With no one to share this burden
I walk.
Guarding the world I once walked in.

Long ago I cursed myself
Blinded by pride, and greed
I experienced agony.
Watching those I have always loved
Fall into nothingness
Wither into dust.
Each member of my family,
Every woman I have ever taken into my heart.
Gone.
Forever alone I wander
Holding myself at a distance
From those who would hold me.
I will not make that mistake again.

When I walk this earth again
Among the living,
Among my friends
I will have proven I am capable
Of learning
Of trying.
I can understand mercy
And sacrifice.
I have learned pain and defeat.
Over the long years I have learned.
I am only One.
Against Many.
Though I may be strong
Perhaps fast and intelligent
There is always one better.
I must work.
Work to be better and learn.

When I may walk again
I hope to find my soul.
Wish to find the one who holds it
And die one day.
Surrounded by loved ones.
To be the one buried instead of the one to
Bury.

To be loved again.
Wanted again.
Do you remember what that feels like?

Remember?,

Sacred Secret

iPersonic

I Am A Sensitive Doer (SD)


Sensitive Doers are gentle, modest and reserved persons. They cope well with everyday life and like their privacy. With their quiet, optimistic nature, they are also good, sought-after listeners and other people feel well in their company. All in all, this type is the most likeable and friendliest of all personality types. Tolerance and heir regard for others distinguish their personality. They are very caring, generous and always willing to help. They are open to and interested in everything that is new or unknown to them. However, if their inner value system or their sense of justice is hurt, Sensitive Doers can suddenly and surprisingly become forceful and assertive.
Sensitive Doers enjoy the comforts life offers to the full. They are very happy in everyday life.
Sensitive Doers are often gifted artists or very good craftsmen. Creativity, imagination and an especially keen perception are just a few of their strong points.

Sensitive Doers are very presence-oriented; long-term planning and preparations do not appeal to them. They take life as it comes and react flexibly to daily demands. They do not like too much routine and predictability. Their talents come more to the fore when work processes are variable and there are not so many rules. Sensitive Doers like to work alone; if they are part of a team, they do not get involved in competitive or power games and prefer living and working together harmoniously and openly.
Sensitive Doers are completely satisfied with a small, close circle of friends as their need for social contacts is not very marked. Here, too, they avoid conflicts - quarrels and disputes put considerable strain on them. Sensitive Doers are often very fond of animals and are very good with small children.
As partner, this type is loyal and reliable and is willing to invest a lot in a relationship. Mutual respect and tolerance are very important to Sensitive Doers. Their love of pleasure makes them a pleasant companion with whom one can experience intensive moments. They like to look after their partner with attentiveness and small gifts and are very sensitive to the partner’s needs - often more than to their own.
However, should they meet the wrong person, they run the risk of being taken advantage of. They are then deeply disappointed.


Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, practical, emotional, spontaneous, sensitive, peace-loving, reserved, gentle, good-natured, independent, empathetic, friendly, playful, carefree, sympathetic, relaxed, quiet, modest, pleasure-loving, loyal, obliging, caring, helpful, optimistic



http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html


Who Are You?

$1

I gotta dollar! I gotta dollar! I gotta dollar! Hey hey hey hey!

Voices In My Head

So you can guess that sometimes when I'm bored (rather all the time for every reason) I recede into my head just to do whatever. And when I'm in my head someone else is here. Right? Right. So today i'm in my head, watching whoever is here (which just happens to be Christina) and she was walking through the halls at lunch, going to the choir room. Whatever. And gets tackled by my stalker (child abuse guy?) and she elbows him in the gut. HARD. It was like reflex. Instataneous. She didn't even like squeak when he pounced on her or anything just *pounce* *BAM* *whimper* It was great. And he backed off like "owwww why'd you do that?" And she was like "oh sorry you scared me." HAHAHAHA it was awesome. First I felt bad for him, then her, then it was hilarious. Anyway. Thats all I got for you. Oh yeah, quick rundown.

Math sucks
French is hard
History is cool
Physics is amazing
Science sucks
IB English SUCKS HARD

and thats it. My day was great and everything is good beans. Later, loves!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: F**K YEAH!

Away From Me

Ever want to just tell people to shut the hell up and go away? Me too.
Anyway, whats up guys? I'm good. I have so much IB homework right now because I'm SUCH A SLACKER. lol its my own fault but still. Jeez! I have to read an entire book, come up with a theme and start working on my essay this weekend. "Why aren't you doing it now?" you might ask. Well Its because as I said before: I'm a slacker. I'm a procrastinator. An underachiever*. And a Failure*. Woohoo! lol I love that. I also feel sick as hell. but that should go away soon....hopefully...and if not there's always meds! ^_^ yay! lol no drugs are bad...kinda...j/k j/k. So how have you all been this week? Didn't it go by super slow? I think it did. But my MySpace has gotten a lot of stardom. By me anyway. lol Dude. I want to be hyper but I'm tired. So only my thoughts and words are hyper. My body is like "What the hell, mind? Can I get some sleep?" and my mind is like "UHhhhh NO! Hahahahaha!" Y'know? It's gay. I want to bring bac that one Voice, cause he sleeps WAY hard. Like there is no waking that guy up unless he wants to be woke! lol I kid. His commander could probably do it. (and so can my alarm clock I guess) Or maybe he's just a very trained man. Lots of self-discipline. But people in the military tend to have that. In abundance. Trying to share with everyone. True? You know people like that? I do. Obviously. Hmmm....well thats it I guess. Go check out Fange's blog!

Love. Life. Laughter,
Sacred Secret

132

So this is my one hundredth and thirty second post. Sounds like big. but not as big as if I had blogged like everyday since I got this. Mr.Blog seems a little neglected...but happy. Maybe I should give him a make over. But like dude. I'm cold right now. Even though I took a 400 degree shower. (hotter than my normal shower cause I had to get the smell of PEOPLE off me) I went to the Twilight Tour thingy. It was cool. But I don't have a lot to say about it right now. So ask me later maybe. Uhmm...I'm bored. I don't really have a lot to say so I'll probably get offline and mull around a while before either going to sleep or getting back online. I dunno. We'll see.


"OMG RIGHT NOW",
Sacred Secret


P.S: Laurent is my new favorite....then Edward. ^_^

Watch It Fall

(unedited)

Something in the distance is calling me,
calling me
Telling me, telling me
I need to get up.
I've got to move, I've got to go.
Get going get going, you're missing it all
I can't take this pressure this insanity
Let me breathe let me be let me
Fly.
Now I want to take it off
Shed my clothing of society
Spread my wings, open my eyes
Take that running leap.
Let her go, watch her fall
Crubling into the mist
Falling into the endless abyss.
Let me take it off
Shed my skin
This cutting sin
Is banishing me from reality.
So let me go, watch me fall
Watch me fall
Part my lips and scream your name
Let me go 'til I can't breathe.
I can't wait any longer.
I've got to take the
Jump.
Let me go, watch me fall
Into this abyss of lonliness
Let me scream, let me die
Watch my pain.
I'm not thinking
I'm just sinking to the place
Where I Belong
So let me go, watch me fall
Watch me fall
Watch us fall...

Sacred Secret

OBAMA

OBAMA JUST WON DOOD. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right. He did it! What say you now, non-believers?

Yes We Can,

Sacred Secret

We've Got Spirit, Yes We Do!

Okay so there's this sign in the hallway at my school that says "Spirit takes ya high!"
Tell me honestly.
Doesn't that make you think of drugs?
And the sign is on bright paper with paint spatter all around it and crazy flowery stuff and stuff.
Tell me it doesn't remind you of drugs! Hippies and drugs dude. Really.
Anyway. DUDE! I'm A GOD-AUNT! lol *heart star squee*

lol you're probably like tres wtf I know but my guy-friends friend (yay Chels) said that I can be the god-aunt of her baby boy. I' m so super excited!!! Squee!! I want to get him a bunch of cutesy little baby things. She'll have to tell me when her shower is, 'cause I wanna go (if she'll let me)

Let's seee. School is fine (IB IS A B*TCH), life in general is almost puuuurrfect. It'll be better after the "flow". Y'know. But anywho....the Voices are goodish. There was some recent weirdness. Lots of fighting and a couple of people got hurt but nothing big. Everyone is fine now. I'd tell you more but I don't want to anymore. So I'll see you all later. Byeeee!!


Can't Wait!,
Sacred Secret

Color Quiz 3!!

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!!


COLOR QUIZ!

Sacred Secret's Existing Situation

Sensuous. Inclined to luxuriate in things which give gratification to the senses, but rejects anything tasteless, vulgar, or coarse.

Sacred Secret's Stress Sources

Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and of separation from others. Believes that life still has far more to offer and that she may miss her share of experiences if she fails to make the best use of every opportunity. She therefore pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity and commits herself deeply and readily. Feels herself to be completely competent in any field in which she engages, and can sometimes be considered by others to be interfering or meddlesome.

Sacred Secret's Restrained Characteristics

Emotionally inhibited. Feels forced to compromise, making it difficult for her to form a stable emotional attachment.
The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are.

Sacred Secret's Desired Objective

Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand her fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.

Sacred Secret's Actual Problem

The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her to play her part with an urgent and hectic intensity.

Sacred Secret's Actual Problem #2

Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of her own efforts.



Take The Quiz,
Sacred Secret

What's Really Good?

Dude I haven't blogged in forever. Sorry bout that. Not that anyone reads this anymore. Dude. I don't really wanna blog So I'm gonna post some lyrics and a picture describing how I feel. Okay?

And now I'll be a cool person and write up some lyrics for you!

"Into The Ocean" ---Blue October

I'm just a normal boy

That sank when I fell overboard

My ship would leave the country

But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life vest I'd be stuck again

Wish I was much more masculine

Maybe then I could learn to swim

Like 'fourteen miles away'

Now floating up and down

I spin, colliding into sound

Like whales beneath me diving down

I'm sinking to the bottom of my

Everything that freaks me out

The lighthouse beam has just run out

I'm cold as cold as cold can be

be

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard

I keep looking each direction

For a spotlight, give me something

I need something for protection

Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine

the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind

I'm treading for my life believe me

(How can I keep up this breathing)

Not knowing how to think

I scream aloud, begin to sink

My legs and arms are broken down

With envy for the solid ground

I'm reaching for the life within me

How can one man stop his ending

I thought of just your face

Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun

I calculate what I had done

Like jumping from the bow(yeah)

Just to prove that I knew how (yeah)

It's midnight's late reminder of

The loss of her, the one I love

My will to quickly end it all

Set front row in my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all

Into the ocean, end it all

Into the ocean, end it all

into the ocean...end it all

[Zayra]

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye)

end it all (goodbye)

(In to space)Into the ocean (goodbye)

end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye)

end it all (goodbye)

^^Repeat til the end^^

okay..done now...later guys.

twma,

sacred secret

Say Hey!

Hey! People what's going on?! I know it's been a while. I'm a horrible host. *ducks tomatoes* But at least I came back right? Yeah! I've had a good reason as to why I haven't been around anyway! I mean if I didn't have a reason I would just be a jerk. But I do have a reason and those of you that truly read this blog, or that truly know me know what it is/was. Now that that is all almost over and stuff I have better news. I'm Sick! Hooray! lol I hate being sick but it was kind of undeniable. Because Fange' was sick, so I was bound to be sick anyway. *shrug* Oh well. Hey Hey! School is pretty much over right!? Dude it's a been a long year but we made it. Class of '010! lol our number looks dumb, like messed up 101. but that's okay, cause we are in fact the BEST class. Hehehehee and our graduation is going to be awesome. MUWAHAHAHAHA I gotta go now, as I have some patrolling to do. Peace and Love!

Summertime '08,
Sacred Secret

P.S: "Proceed with caution, for this is the land where hearts are burned, morals are tested, and souls are pushed to their very limits. This land is not for the weak, or the easily deterred. This is the land of love." --- Anon. *YOU KNOW*

One Thing..

HAPPY PHURY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn!

Nothin' special right now. I'm working on a story about my friend again. I stopped for a while because I had to stop thinking about his ass. But now I'm back on it and it's looking good. I also have an oral quiz (ha-ha-ha) in French class and I'm sweatin' cause I have not been practicing at all. But enough of my complaining. how have you all been? EEEEKK! I can't wait until tommorrow because we're going to the beach!!!! (Hawaii really but hey!) I'm so excited. Von and his woman were going to come but...something "came up" lol if you knew. If you knew. So it will just be me and John. Hopefully. *crosses her fingers* Like I love having company when I'm out with him but singular is awesome too. Double dating is fun. With my friend and her b/f. It's mega fun. Haahaaa. Anyway have an awesome memorial weekend guys and tell me what you did! Gotta go play Wii now with the fam. Peace!

Wii Like To Play,
Sacred Secret

Blue Ribbon

Hey. I know I haven't been the best of host as of late but I'm seriously swamped with stuff. Like I bombed a math test on Monday-Tuesday. Like totally BOMBED it. Absolutely no chance of getting that one back. It sucks. Then today I was late to school and since I have French class first period I missed that class and I had a quiz in it. So I missed that too. Gonna have to stay after school sometime and take it. Freakin! Ahhhh! Anyway. So I've watched a couple movies since I posted last and "Juno" is amazingly awesome. Like I love it sooo much. Hooray for "Juno" !!!! Also, I've seen Apocalypto and that was awesome too. Hooray!

On another note, Nightmare's birthday is coming up. He'll be getting into the terrible twos. And it shows. -_-; God does it show. He's being such a brat lately. For instance. I got rid of my bunk bed and now I'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor, true? and he gets up on my bed, strutin' like he's cool, then lays down, rolls over, almost falls off the bed. Then what does he dig his claws into so he doesn't fall? My arm of course!!! Yeah. It hurt. But it was like one in the morning so I couldn't scream. I just gasped kinda loud and waited for him to get his balance so he could retract his claws from my flesh. Who else is there to catch you but your parents? Those first few years anyway...

On the topic of parents. This guy I know at school. I don't know him very well he hits on me sometimes and we talk in French but otherwise we're not very close. He came to school today, (we have the same lunch so I saw him then) and his arm was covered in bruises. I was like "Oh my god what happened?" Mind you, this boy is my color. A little lighter but not much. And these bruises were extremely bright on him. He then sat down and told me how his dad beat him the night before with a belt, because he got four F's. Now I understand the need for discipline in this situation. Beating the crap out of him is NOT okay. I told him how I sympathized, I inquired as to if this had happened before, if he had told anyone previously about it. He said he dared not to. If the authorities came to their house his dad would go after him again, with or without the police. He proceeded to show me the larger, more painful bruises and welts, WELTS on his back and the back of his legs. I noticed that he was wearing unusually baggy clothes today. Probably to conceal the evidence.

My heart bled for him. Screamed out in protest that anyone could do this to their child. It isn't right. It's just...so wrong. So very wrong and unnecessary. I am so blessed that I have a loving, stable home. And I thank the stars everyday that I do. Because there are so many children out there that do not. And I feel so bad. To make matters worse for this boy, today is his birthday. He got nothing. I sheepishly told him I would bring him something tomorrow but he waved it off. He said he is used to not getting anything.

This is another thing I understand. But I think everyone should be able to celebrate, happily, the day they were born. They day they were blessed with life. And those who have touched their live and they in return touched someone else's.

God...I could go on forever about this. Child Abuse and Harassment is not an okay thing to do. I don't care who you are. Children are small, and defenseless. Helpless to do anything against the strength of a grown man or woman. Thousands of children die everyday because of child abuse. And even if it isn't continued abuse, children blame themselves for everything. If their parent is mad about something and takes it out on their child, all the while the question "What did I do?" will come through their heads. When they did nothing but simply be a child. Children are not little adults. You can't dress them up in formal adult clothing and expect them to act that way. They are meant to learn and play. To laugh and engage in mischievous little acts. Make friends, go to school, do arts and crafts. Adults are meant to guide and teach and nourish that little spirit. Not beat it down into submission. I could go on and on. but instead I want to show you something.

Murder is the ultimate form of child abuse. Multiple burns and human bites were only part of what killed this ten-month-old infant. His father was convicted of the killing.
Cited from : http://www.violence.de/prescott/hustler-new/article.html

I know this is brutal. I know, most of you already know that hitting and abusing a child is a horrible crime, not only of law but of moral. I know. but for those who don't I want to bring this to their attention. Stop the circles of child abuse. Save a little life.


Blue Ribbons For Kids,
Sacred Secret

Do It

I keep thinking that the need for posting will come back to me. But it hasn't yet. I've been working on a new series like thing of writingdom. It's about a friend of mine. He's awesome. And I end up upsetting him every time I talk to him. So it sucks. But I think I'm helping. Pah! Anywayz. Right now I'm watching Fraggle Rock. A hella old ass show, my mom used to watch when she was a kid. Well a teenager anyway. It's a pretty corny show, but it's got cool music. lol if that makes any sense. I'm sorry I haven't posted in a long time but I haven't wanted to. So I'll see ya when I see ya.

Last to know, Last to show,
Sacred Secret

Sorry About That!

Whoa! It's been forever guys! And I have nothing to tell you! Look I'll admit...I've been cheating on you. With my Laptop. His name his James and he is a little younger than you are...alright! So he's a lot younger! But he treats me well! He's faster than you too! He doesn't have problems with loading, and he is easier to use. Look I don't want to argue with you about this. I just thought you would want to know! Don't yell at me! We have nothing left together! I'm sorry! No, I take that back I'm NOT sorry! You were a jerk to me! You never posted when I wanted you to and then when you did it looked bad! I couldn't handle it anymore so I found someone new. We've had a lot of good times together and I hope we can still be friends after this. Please? I don't want to end it like this Murphy! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(anyway school has been fine, everything is fine. Hi lover. The Counselor has a girlfriend. I'll tell you about that later. Hm what else? Oh wait..)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It can't end this way! I'll kill you so that no one else can have you! Wait! Wait! That's not necessary! Really I'll come back to you I promise! NO! You've already been using him haven't you? How many times have your hands touched his keys!? Tell me! I-I-I don't know! Murphy just calm down! AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! (ooo that had to hurt. Anyhow, how many of you read Lost Words? The blog I mean. I'm sure there's a book out there too. But you should read it (the blog) and get into the foxy loop. I love those too a lot so check them out! I think they might even post more than I do!) Murphy why!?! WHY!??! OH GOD! WAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! W-W-WAAAAHHHH!!! *cries hysterically* You didn't have to do it! I would have come back to you! I know we could have worked it out somehow! NOOOOO!!! (jeez...drama much. Those two are always fighting. Peh. Oh Nightmare is doing well. For those of you who tuned in during his bad break. When he was attacked by those dogs? Well he's sitting here in my lap all twelve pounds of him, rendering my typing skills almost useless.) *runs off screaming carrying Murphy's body with her* I know I can fix you!! Who Knows Alchemy!?!?!
.....okay then...anyway back to normal stuff. Maybe I'll post a picture of him when I get the chance. Which should be relatively soon. He's two now. God he's gotten so big since I got him. But I love him more and more all the time. Though the scratching could occur less...Don't even think I'm getting him declawed! That's just mean! Besides, the cats I know would be pissed. They all probably winced at the thought! (sorry bout that guys) Jeez some people...anywayz I'm gonna try to get a picture of Night for you so you can see how big he is. Later Gator.

Flyin In The Wrong Direction,
Sacred Secret

P.S: MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION DOESN'T COUNT ANYMORE!!!! =]

Long Time No...Sniff?

I don't know, I'm really just here to tell you that I'm alive and I don't want to tell you guys a whole lot right now. Me and Tyler broke up. I can't say I'm not happy. Because I am. I really am. I like being single, and being held down in a boring relationship isn't fun to me. I'm going to see if I can 'find' one more suitable for my tastes after being single for a little while. It's more fun when I can shamelessly flirt with anyone. It's fun to go places and check guys out without feeling guilty. And I may be an asshole for going on pity dates but I feel bad if I break up with them. Anyway, I'm listening to "Go on Girl" by Ne-Yo right now. It's a hot song. It reminds me of.....nevermind ^_^ there are a couple other dongs by Ne-Yo that remind me of him as well. Because he sings them a lot. But this song also reminds me of V, because it fits him. I gotta go now, I'ma go talk to the guys. Because I have nothing better to do until I gotta work.

(last night by the way? ROCKED)

I'm Rite,
Sacred Secret

Oh My Dear God Why!?!?!

Why? Why God Why would you bestow this HORRIBLE thing upon one of your greatest creations?! Women do not deserve this! CRAMPS SHOULD NOT EXIST! This I will tell you over and over again because it is true! The bane of my existence would be these spasms of pain that shoot through your entire abdomen so bad it makes you curl into a ball and fall on the floor drying wanting to die because you hurt so fucking bad. WHY DO THESE EXIST?! I want to know what MORON even discovered them to exist! If they didn't have a name maybe they would be easier to deny. From now on just refer to them as "Oh! Damn that hurt!" or something. So maybe we females can make the bodily world a better place for the generations to come. I've been at home ALL DAY because of these fucking things. Trust me if I could have moved I would have gone to school. I have three tests tomorrow that I could have been studying for today, god knows what I messed in french class! Math is forever confusing missing any of that is bad news. We aren't doing too much in Social Studies, English I'm working on right now. And P.E can kiss my ass. I didn't suit up yesterday because I lose the damn key to my locker and then today I didn't come so that's fifteen points off this week. Plus whatever else that fat old whorish, sexist chauvinistic pig marked me down for. I don't even want to be here right now, but I know no matter where I go it's gonna suck and I don't want to put someone else through this too so I'll just stay. What use is leaving? Anyway.......ow GOD! NEVERMIND!

F******* A!,
Sacred Secret

P.S: *sighs* Sorry for cursing so much....

Hey Guys

I don't have anything to say.

Hi guys. Can't wait until tonight.

See you all later

I accept your offer.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: If you don't know, don't speak.

I Love You

You ARE beautiful.



Dove, Campaign For Real Beauty: Amy's Video


I Love Your Body,
Sacred Secret

Quickie

Hey guys it's Christmas and I had a small break so I'm telling you guys I'm alive and well. The Voices have updated their blogs, so check them out. If you read them.


MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS!

Tootles!



Sacred Secret

P.S: What'd you get?

Another Color Quiz Check-Up

For those of you long term blog readers, you know I've done this before. This is the Color Quiz. Take it! Here are my newest results...


Sacred Secrets Existing Situation:
The existing situation contains critical or dangerous elements for which it is imperative that some solution be found. This may lead to sudden, even reckless, decisions. Self-willed and rejects any advice from others.

Sacred Secrets Stress Sources:
An existing situation or relationship is unsatisfactory, but she feels unable to change it to bring about the sense of belonging which she needs. Unwilling to expose her vulnerability, she therefore continues to resist this state of affairs, but feels dependent on the attachment. This not only depresses her. but makes her irritable and impatient, producing considerable restlessness and the urge to get away from the situation, either actually or, at least, mentally. Ability to concentrate may suffer.

Sacred Secrets Restrained Characteristics:
Becomes distressed when her needs or desires are misunderstood and feels that she has no one to turn to or rely on. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.
Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity.

Sacred Secrets Desired Objective:
Wants to establish herself and make an impact despite unfavorable circumstances and a general lack of appreciation.

Sacred Secrets Actual Problem:
Anxiety and restless dissatisfaction, either with circumstances or with unfulfilled emotional requirements, have produced stress. She tries to escape from these by denying their existence, concealing her dissatisfaction behind a proud but illusory claim to self-sufficiency and independence.


Well that's it. Remember it's just for fun. Tell me what you think....I guess. Everything is good. No need to ask. ttyl. Byebye.

Hi Boyz,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I don't really have any idea what's going on.

I live the perfect Life

I live the perfect life.

I live somewhere in the suburbs of some nice little town. I go to a uniformed private school. My parents are happy and live together. I see my dad all the time but mostly he's away on business. I'm okay with that. My little brother goes to a private school in a different state because that school better fits his needs. My grandma and grandpa are happy together and they live together in a small house. My grandma bakes cookies all the time and loves all of her children and grandchildren equally no matter their age. My grandpa is retired and wears a bathrobe in the morning , smokes a pipe, and reads the newspaper everyday to critique the world in an observant way. My cousins are in college studying to be doctors and lawyers. I will follow in their footsteps. We have a perfect yard and our home life is great. I go to a wonderful school with all of my friends. My teachers are nice and I have A's in all my classes. I have a wonderful boyfriend. I can tell my best friend anything, we share all our secrets, she's just like my sister. Every summer my family goes on vacation to somewhere exotic like last summer we went to Hawaii, this summer we plan on going to Africa to visit the rain forests. My dad wants us to be well rounded in our travels. I speak three languages and I am working on my fourth right now.

This is the perfect world I live in in my dreams. I have created this world because on the occasion that I visit it I can predict exactly what is going to happen. In my little world of sheltered and naive people I have no Voices. I am a mindless zombie and in this little world of major conformity I am obliviously happy because I am ignorant to any kind of pains. I have never fallen down or scraped my hands or knees. I have never failed at anything. I have never been poor or without anything. I have never talked about sex or abortions or politics or poverty or genocide or anything or the sort. You know why? Me either. I don't even know why I'm writing this, telling you all this. None of it matters because I don't understand it. Don't reply. Don't tell me some weird ass bullshit I've heard thirty thousand times before because like everything else that is said to me I take it to heart until someone else shoots down myself esteem to what seems to be beyond recreation. Then I listen to someone else's bullshit and *sighs*.....whatever anyway. It doesn't matter. I'm going to go lay around in my bed for about three hours. until I fall asleep to stay in my dream world for a while. Then when I wake up I'll go to school and do the same thing I've been doing everyday of my life. I'll fake it.

I don't have any problems. I live a perfect life. My problems are truly insignificant I have no reason to complain or bitch or moan or gripe about anything because compared to people with real problems I am fine. I am perfect. My life is careless and fancy free. I need no help. I am not dependent. I can make my own decisions and someday I will go off and have a family of my own that is just like my dream world. Deep deep under the surface we will have the most fucked up problems you could ever imagine. That's alright, because I'll still be perfect. And that's all that matters. I don't understand what's going on. I'm not going to reread this to make sure it makes sense for your benefit. I'll spell check it though, so that when I come back to this in a couple of weeks and read it I'll be able to just barely make out what was going through my head this night. I'm going to go now. And maybe in the morning I'll be perfect again.

Sincerely,
Fallacy
aka Sacred Secret
aka Half-Witt
aka BooBoo
aka Baby Girl
aka Sweetie
aka Babysitter lady
aka Cynthia
or whatever you want to call me.

P.S: Like that wasn't enough for you?

TGIF!

This post really isn't about anything but its FRIDAY! WOOT WOOT! lol every time I say WOOT it reminds me of Hito. Because he used to say WOO allllllllll the time. For any occasion, he even had different versions of it. It was hilarious. Anyway, I want to have a party. It's HAT DAY at North Hill and so I took pictures with the kids and ran around telling everyone that its hat day. It was fun. Now I'm waiting for Fange' to get here and wondering how I'm going to tell her things. See this weekend we are going to go to The Victorian Christmas show and then on Sunday we're going to my boyfriends soccer game. I really want to go and watch him. He's really good at soccer and he likes it a lot. lol he's been trying to get me to go forever now, so I finally just said yes, because we aren't going to the winter ball together. Why? 'Cause I have a concert that night (like last year) and so I think he's just going to have dinner with us (Mom, Grandma, Fange', Myself) If Fange's comes over that weekend. Which she probably will because she doesn't miss any of my concerts unless she absolutely has to. But thats all fine and dandy. I just hope they can get along. Tyler doesn't have any problem with Fange' but she still has a grudge against him I think. I can never tell. But I DO understand why she doesn't like him. I mean she's allowed to hold a grudge, but...oh I don't know. Never mind I'm going to shut up cause It doesn't even matter. OH YEAH! I have good news. The Counselor has a girlfriend. Well she's not technically his girlfriend yet, they haven't known each other very long, but soon. He's already really protective of her but she's still kind of involved with her "ex" they still live together and they still "play" together but they're not going out. She's really quite and when she does talk her voice is really soft and kinda raspy like she doesn't use it a lot which she probably doesn't. The Counselor loves her voice. Like really he does. He smiles every time she says his name. It's cute. So to give them their time to get to know each other I've been hanging out with Hito and Kin. And Williem and his crew. Speaking of Hito, those of you that know about the event, Mae woke up the other day after being unconscious for about a week. She's doing alright now, and the pHd's are deciding on whether or not she'll be able to have kids again. She doesn't remember what happened she does know she's lost something, but Hito is unsure when to tell her. It will be hard on him. :( . But Hito is strong, and so is Mae, so they'll get through it. Alright well I think I'm done now. GO HAVE A PARTY BECAUSE ITS HAT DAY AND I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Latah ^_^

TGIF,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Who am I dating?

Happy Turkey Day

YO! omg it's been foooreevvveerrr! I'm sorry I haven't posted in forever but not a whole lot has happened to post about. Which is a good thing right? Normally I just post about my problems because if I were you, the reader, thats all I would find interesting. Humans seem to be interested in the pain of others. Even the most sympathetic ones and interested. It's just a common curiosity I think all of homo-sapiens share. But its okay, I mean I'm the same way, so... Right! How are you all? I'm doing well (as earlier stated) me and my boyfriend are happy (for those that care) and school life is great for the most part. I got my report card and goes as such:

French 1: A
Geometry: B
Integrated Science 2: A
English: B
World History: A
Quality Fitness: B

Cool huh?! I am soooo happy, you don't even KNOW! lol I've been listening to dumb music this week. You can listen to it with me if you want to and visit my YouTube account. Leave me a comment when you get there too, please! That is, if you go.

Sacred Secrets Video's!

I hope you go. If you don't, no hard feelings. What are you all doing for Thanksgiving? I'm going to meh sisters house and stuffing my face. God I love Thanksgiving, for multiple reasons; I get to eat, spend time with family, get out of school, party, sleep, and cooler still is Christmas is almost here too! I know most of you are like "Oh, and your not going to post again until Christmas, huh?" Okay, okay! I know I deserve this. Hounding everyone to read my friggin' blog and when they do I don't update. Well I'm Sorry! But if there's nothing to say can you blame me? I hate reading other people's blogs who only post three sentences and sign off. That's annoying, when I read someones blog I want to learn something about them, or sympathize, feel joy or something. I don't want "Their still alive? That's good, next website." Y'know? I want to feel something when I read it. But maybe that's just the writer in me coming out. Speaking of writing! I'm conducting a "thing" with the Voices. I picked a select few and let their significant others pick out "modern human names" for them. (i.e: boys for girls, girls for boys) and it turned out interestingly well. I would list the names they got but I can't. It's confidential. And if I list them the Girls will know their new names and so will the Boys. I can't do that sooo no luck for you. The only one that might get to know is Fange'. But I have to be careful there too because almost everything she knows, they know. I'm the same way. I tend not to keep anything from the Voices. Sometimes that is an inconvenience however because ALL of them have enormous mouths and can't seem to keep them shut. But I love them all the same. Well I have school tomorrow and it's 11 o'clock. So peace, and happy eatings.

Kiss Kiss,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Your secret today: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

P.P.S: J/K. I've noticed people who usually piss me off tend to be pretty.

Possibly the Best Worst day of my life...

I feel like I've let down everyone today. I let down my son, my friends, my boyfriend, my mom, my sister, and myself. If any of you disagree I don't care. Just let me live out my sorrow for a moment. Oh! And shout out to Suketsu & Family. I love you guys for all you've done in the past 72 hours. You guys rox my sox hard. I mean it. HARD. I have a lot of homework and yet not a lot. School is going well and weird and yeah. Same old shit. I can pretty much close my eyes and make it to each of my classes I'm so used to it now. But I know if something in my schedule changes I'll tweak out because I'm not friends with change. Sudden drastic changes scare the f*** out of me. I don't know why but they do. Deaths and births don't bother me however in the least. But people moving away, changes in my everyday schedule or my immediate house-hold freak me out. I've gotten my fear under control so that I can hide when I'm tweaking out a bit, but there are still somethings...anyway! Well my grandpa is taking me out to dinner and I'm going to go get dressed. See you guys later.

Get Well Soon, Night,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Please, for the love of God, please don't be mad.
P.P.S: Thank you for understanding.

Hey peeps! I'm bored call me. It's only nine and its dead quite around here. Well a quickie update:

Takin the PSAT on Wednesday
Test in French bumped up to Thursday
Favorite color is still dark red
Favorite color combo slowly switching from black and purple to green and black.

Other than that I'm BORED AND NOT A LOT OF TIRED
I think I'm going to call Fange' and see whats doing. Maybe catch up on the HW.
So yeah. sorry this isn't longer. But...I'm bored.

Til Pigs Fly,
Sacred Secret

P.S: At school I try to remember what I do, the choices I make, and the things I say. Then I reflect on the during the bus ride home.If I feel I've dissapointed myself, or stepped out of my own moral boundaries I vow to apologize to whoever I wronged.

Do I Really?

Current Song: "I'll Cover You" --- Rent


I don't think I do but I'm not going to say anything for fear of being eaten by all of the people that think otherwise. I'm nervous and excited and dreading the time...but I'm so tied up I guess I'm floating around in a weird euphoria. Just floating and nothing more. If I'm not insanely tired I'll get on when I get back and tell you how it went. If your wondering what it is, its Homecoming. And the game yesterday? We lost. Big time. Like Forty something to twenty something. How gay is that? Dammit! I messed up the makeup again. Maybe I'll send you a picture if you reall want to see. But not right now. Later, when my mom puts the pics on her MySpace. So yeah like I said....lots with the nervousness. I think I should probably eat something before I go...I don't know if he's taking me out to eat or not though...so should I? *sigh* I wish I could have a handful of the Voices in my purse the whole time so I can ask them for advice. I know I can have them in my head but....I want a pocket pal!! Oh well. The Counselor says I'll be fine and Hito said I look like a goddess, *smiles* I loved the look in his eyes. Kin said I shouldn't go because Tyler doesn't deserve to look at me dressed this way. But Kin is protective. Batman was hitting on me more than usual, so was Adrian and Vaun. One of Zenisha's darkies was too, which is weird. Well I guess I should get going and eliminate the Voices that are going to make me more nervous and keep the ones I'll need for advice. On top of the other stuff I need to be doing so yeah...God I'm scared..

Waiting For Tonight,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Please, please, please don't let me down....

Welcome To The Bloody Parade...

So I'm here talking about nothing and everything at once. Figuring that if I can just say it and get it off my chest then my soul and mind will not be so heavy laden with guilt. Alas...I have a feeling I won't be able to attain this bliss. I'm going to continue listening to my new favorite song "Falling Inside The Black" by Skillet. It's a good song. I will admit it's a little emo but I like it so shut up. Sorry I'm being an ass. And the was I was speaking earlier is just a type I fall into when I'm writing sometimes. So just excuse me for that. I honestly don't have a lot to talk about. I want to see Suketsu's kids. I haven't seen them in a long time and I really want to know what has gone down to make Ryuu sound so grievous. Or maybe I'm just imaging his pain, but I'm pretty sure there is something wrong. Also, to remind myself I'll write it here, I have to get so many birthday presents for the people with upcoming birthdays. And the new ones that are coming. I hope the wolves return soon and in good health. I want to see the Brothers. I want to see everyone. I've been holing myself up in The Counselors office (his house) for a while now and he looks at me with concern. When I'm not with him I'm with Fange' and Sy helping them with what I can. Speaking of him he's doing well last I checked and should be coming home soon. Gods I hate the Italian doctors right now. They know nothing! D.C knows more than they do and she's barely almost seven. *sighs* But whatever they will get replaced soon enough. You know how vamps can't get sick from human diseases or sicknesses? Well apparently they aren't immune to the illnesses of the Mist. Four civilian vamps I know have come down with flu and fever after reportedly talking to someone of the Mist. The three I do know, know nothing of this sickness and are almost fearful of it. And whatever makes Mist afraid makes me outrageously nervous and scared for my life. But they don't seem that worried just a little like it might circulate their house and get the l****e k**'* sick. So yeah. Oh my mom is totally enthralled in the BDB right now.. of course so am I but she's a n00b she doesn't know anything yet, but she's almost done with the first book. I started the fifth today but I was already on page fifteen cause I actually started the day we got it (Sept. 25) so yeah... but I'll post more about that later (I'm going to come talk to you V..I have a...some questions ^_^) Alright I'm done. Peace easy fo' sheezy.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: When I don't get that maternal fix my heart feels like it's breaking and my mind says I'm losing my purpose. I know its not true and I'll keep on living but I surround myself with children each day to stave off that horrid feeling. It's like a drug I can't get rid of because I'm afraid of the pain...Sometimes...I am so pathetic...

Hey Peeps

I'm not posting about much, just sayin' Yo. 'Cause I'm tired and I gotta study for french class still. My weekend was good. Fange' and me walked down to the marina and back (well we took the bus half way back) And truly it was some of the Voices so yeah. I'm going to start giving them credit where credit is due. So I'm gonna get. Tell me how your weekend was everyone! I hope your monday is just as good as my Saturday!!! Peace

Stayin Above The Water,
Sacred Secret

Thinking About Tomorrow...

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't posted in forever. For some reason I thought that if I just kept checking my own blog something new would pop up and tell me something about myself. The Counselor corrected my foolishness, and so here I am posting. Ever since school started I've been really tired and my knee has been jacked up and shite. Well, I'm tired and my mom wants to give me a friggin' horse pill for the pain in my knee. And I don't want to stop because I haven't posted in so long but I can't focus...and I haven't written anything in forever except for the stuff on my laptop and I can't transfer that to here. Maybe I can find a picture for you. There that one's cool right? It reminds me of Yukiko, because of the bright green eyes. Her eyes are so pretty, and her son's are almost the same color. Want another? This one reminds me of....guess! You'll never guess never mind. But it reminds me of Rehmidy. I don't know why, but it does. I've been talking to her a lot lately...she makes me sad, but she also makes me appreciate my life and the people around me. She's been very sickly ever since....well if you don't know then shame on you. And recently she's taken a liking to coming here for about two classes everyday, and then she leaves and Fherosity carries her around until she falls asleep in his arms. He is very worried about her and she refuses to see anyone, medically I mean, about it. Fherosity won't push her on it because he loves her so, and I think he's worried about her health as much as her brother was...no as much as her brother is. I'm very sure that he is watching her, however disapproving his gaze maybe. But all of us know how much he loves her and I think his passing is taking it's toll. Not that it didn't directly the day of but now...*Sigh* I'm going to stop, and go check on her and get to work because despite my sleepiness I still have work to do. Yawn yawn. Goodnight everyone. Sorry again for not posting sooner.

Waiting On The World To Change,

Sacred Secret

P.S: When I'm around people who think little of them self, it makes me think that I am even worse off than they are. Even if there's nothing truly wrong....do you understand?

School Starts in 16 hours

Oh my god. I'm tired and bored and I don't have a lot to say. School starts tomorrow I have to catch the bus at the top of the hill at seven. I hope I'm not late on the first day....picture day is Friday I think so I have to get meh hair done. The Voices lives are going smoothly for the most part. I'll update you all on that later maybe. Right now I want to write about something. It's a story ideal that is quickly unraveling. Here's my idea:

A little boy, about the age of six is standing at his front screen door in the middle of a terrible lightning storm. His mother is out at work and he is waiting for her patiently to return. Eventually he goes to bed without her and hopes in the morning she will have come home. But when he wakes, his mother is no where to be found. Days go by and the boy sees a car crash on the news, and a picture of his mother beside it. Unable to read and not quite comprehending the announcers words he figures she had something to do with the accident. The little boy is undiscovered for three years, living of the money and food that was left, the continuing checks that are sent to the house from welfare, child support and some other government branches. One day the boy is discovered by a neighboring cocaine addict and is sold for money. The rest of the story is how the little boy survives, from his point of view, and his travels. There's more but if I write this I don't want to spoil the ending for you.


So what do you think? I might write it and I might not. Sounds kind of weird to me. I'm supposed to be editing and updating A Touch Of Poison, but I'm burnt out. Maybe later....Anywayz check you out in a quick minute peace.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Yes, actually, I am scared to start school tomorrow.

Holy Crap! Summertime!

It's summer you know and I'm at Fange's place, posting from her computer! (Fange' says Hi) So how are you all doing? I'm good, awaiting school again. I'm anxious to go back but I know that when I do I will be bored again. But atleast then I'll have something to do with my freaking life. Because GAH! Summer is boring. I haven't done anything like all summer and I cannot wait to go camping. The Voices will probably be there the majority of the time but it will be fun any way. You know why? BECAUSE WHATS-HER-FACE WILL NOT BE THERE!!! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heehee that was mean but I don't want her there because she's Emo when she's not with her boyfriend. Bleeeeehh. God sometimes...anyway! It's cool though because Fange's house is fun when it's not boring....does that make sense? It doesn't have to. Anyway. I'm gonna go now. So PEACE


TWMA,
SACRED secret


P.S: You can't be serious, you think your going to get a secret? It's SUMMERTIME. Read the title. Duh.

Happy Summer!

It's summer time and I don't have a whole lot to say. I went to Ozzfest last night (ROCKED) going to Ozzfest again tommorow (ROCKS X2) Currently in a CUlinary Arts class (yes during the summah) and gettin .5 credits toward school. Thats awesome right? Sha. So like I said I don't have much to say but Happy Summer!!

Peace, Love, & Rock N' Roll,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I don't know how to tell you that I love you....love you more than any words can say. I'm not sure that I'll ever tell you just how much....I need you.

The Burger, The Shake...But No Fries...

In my last post I said you might get A Touch Of Poison's latest installment...but...you don't. Sorry but It's just not ready. I transferred all of my info to my computer at home and so everyrthing is out of wack and...ugh. So I have to still make the rest of my writings on this computer go home. And I have three days to do so. If only Shiroi and Ryuuzaki had their hacking skillz here. Those two! All of the boys are going through some weird thing where they feel they have to kill each other to claim their place in the family. All of them have gone insane, and try and kill each other when they aren't around the cooresponsive sister. The sewt up is like this:

Ryojin --- Nami
Shiroi ---- Uitara
Kyarameru --- Yokozuna
Ryuuzaki ---- Tesu

So all of them have different floors of the house, paired with their own sister. The girls can interact with each other fine but the boys...oi. There are like...6 or 7 different floors above ground, two below. Yes, their house is huge. So each of them get their own floor (yes, each floor has its own bathroom and mini kitchen, not that they use the kitchens) and unless they have to go to school or someplace they stay there, not wanting to kill each other. Because the boys are not of equal strengths. I'm sure out of all of them Ryojin is the strongest, for now, Kyarameru is close behind him. Ryuuzaki is the tallest and has a lot of strength behind him too and Shiroi is pretty much his twin just a little shorter. If they all got into it...it would not be a pleasant outcome.
In other news, remember when I said I would get to babysit for Yukisora and Xiao? OMG It was way more interesting than I thought it would be! Pheleon' (Xiao's Son) and Veiraun (Yukisora's Son) are practically inseperable. They were born around the same time, so they are the same age. I forget which one is older. Everytime one of them got an idea of something to do he would look at the other and say "Yeah. I got it." Then they'd hop off the couh and go about their bussiness. *sighs and rolls her eyes* I'll update you guys more in a New York minute. My info tech teacher thinks the last three days of school are important. Oh btw Ryojin and them are out of school already!! How unfair is that!? Well...they are a day ahead...Pfft still not fair.

School's Out For The Summer,
SacreD SecreT

P.S: I can't WAIT until OSC

P.P.S: I Love You!