"The Notebook Story"

This Is a story I've been working on for a while, and I need to save it. So if you want to you can read it. Fange', it needs help. BAD. R&R please! Thank You!

A/N: Liras- (Luh-rye-ahss) Atreyu- (ah-treh-yoo)

Liras’s eyes snapped open as he shot out of his bed, panting, skin covered in a chilled sweat, he looked around his dimly lit room and tried to concentrate on something. Anything that would take his mind off of his dream. Finally his senses fell upon the soft inhale and exhale of the young demon resting on the corner pallet. Smiling he glanced out the window and watched as the new falling snow sparkled like gems in the bright moonlight, he rose then and flipped on the lights, stretching his hands above his head his gaze again fell upon his pet, Atreyu. Quietly he stepped over to the small form on the floor and tucked the blankets in around him, with a final glance over his shoulder as he turned, he walked out the door and down the stairs.

Coffee, coffee. He chanted in his mind, opening cupboards and drawers in search of his prize. “Aha!” he whispered softly picking up an almost empty can of Folgers out of a dusty cupboard. “Now, where would the pot be?” Liras continued his search, coffee in hand for something to make it in, for he wasn’t one to eat coffee grinds raw. Coming up fruitless, he restarted his search, countertops just as bare as the cupboards, “Maybe one of those little coffee shops is still open...” Liras sighed hopping up onto the counter to look in the higher cabinets.

“What are you looking for, Father?” Liras jumped back, barely catching himself to land in a crouch on the kitchen floor, he brought a large hand to his chest, “Good Jesus! Atreyu, you scared the shit out of me!” Liras looked up at the boy who sat atop the refrigerator swinging his legs casually, a playful smile on his face. “I’m sorry. What are you looking for?” Atreyu cocked his head to the side, inquiring further why Liras still kneeled. Liras coughed quietly to hide his embarrassment and stood, “I was looking for the coffee pot, but now that you are awake, we can leave.” Setting the coffee can on the counter gently, he turned and plucked the boy off the refrigerator with ease. “So, we weren’t going to stay here for much longer, Father?” Shaking his head Liras made his way back up the stairs, “No, we weren’t. Gather your clothes, and lets go, this house is beginning to reek.” Dropping the boy and wrinkling his nose, Liras picked his shirt up off the floor and tugged it on, not bothering with the silver and black buttons.

Too true were his words that the house had begun to smell, the corpses of the houses previous occupants were beginning to rot, and soon the police would come to investigate the putrid stench. Liras did not want to be here when they arrived. Having more than one felony, and probably more than a couple murder charges, the authorities, and him were not the very best of friends. He followed Atreyu with his eyes, making sure he grabbed everything he had brought into this house. “Do you have everything?” He inquired when the small boy slung his backpack over his shoulder and stood in front of Liras, looking up at him expectantly. Atreyu glanced around the room once more and nodded in finality, “Yes, I have it all.” Liras nodded and led the way down the stairs, through the living room and pausing at the front door, so Atreyu’s kleptomania could be satiated. The little demon could stuff an entire household worth of things into that little backpack he carried around. When the child rejoined him he continued out the door and into the night, when they had gotten far enough out of the vicinity, Liras lifted the illusion from the neighborhood. As they walked a scream was heard, and immediately he could sense one of their closer neighbors dialing 911. “Start running, Atreyu.” Liras whispered, and the child took off a few moments later he followed, quickly the two of them disintegrated into the darkness, the sound of sirens at their heels.


“Please Sir, allow me to at least shelter my son for the night.” Liras bowed politely to his newest victims, an old couple. Very stereotypical hardass oldies, graying hair, high water pants, and a double barrel shotgun pointed directly at his chest. Raising a fuzzy eyebrow the old man eyed Liras suspiciously, “Alright, just the boy”. Liras winked discreetly at Atreyu as the old mans wife stepped aside to let him through, wrapping him in a blanket when he entered the house. “You can come for him in the morning, now get out of here.” The old man shoved at Liras with the rifle, and he bowed again granting the mans wish to move away. “Thank you, sir. Goodnight.” Liras turned and walked off down the street waiting until the couples door had closed to take off into their backyard and look for the closest window with the easiest access. “Come on Atreyu, make it quick. Fucking cold outside tonight…”

Atreyu tried to cover his disgust with a happy smile as the old woman offered him green pajamas covered in furry little animals. “You must be tired child, get some rest and we’ll see about breakfast tomorrow.” The old biddy smiled and set the green atrocity on the bed before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Atreyu waited a beat before changing his appearance from that of a homeless little boy to the demon child he truly was. From blue to purple and black his eyes changed, and his poorly cropped brown hair grew out to his waist changing back to its original golden color. He flexed his hands as his claws resumed their outstretched position and his wings unfurled from their arrangement curled tight to his spine. “Where did he say the master bedroom was?” he opened the bedroom door slowly, an impish smile on his face as he tiptoed down the hallway to the master bedroom. Cracking the door open slightly, he looked around before sliding silently into the room. “Nice digs, we should be able to stay here for a while.” Resisting his urges to loot the place, he made his way to the large window.
Pulling back the curtains and scanning the backyard he made sure he was in full view of whoever was watching in the backyard as he unlocked the window and backed away. Moments later the window slid open and Liras rested on the window sill, his arms wrapped around himself for warmth, “Fuck, its cold!” he stepped inside and slammed the window shut, patting Atreyu on the head as he passed the boy. “Nice place we got here. Find some thing’s you like?” he said picking up an antique bauble and began tossing it between his hands. Atreyu watched him with wide eyes and nodded; “I found a lot of things Father…” he trailed off becoming entranced in the safety of his future property. Liras looked from Atreyu to the trinket and smirked, “You want this?” the child nodded and stepped closer reaching out small hand to take his endangered toy. Liras held it above his head and pointed with his free hand to the door. “Get rid of them or make them pliant and you can have your little toy, but,” he paused thoroughly amused by Atreyu’s definite interest in the worthless piece of glass, “If I have to interfere at all, I won’t let you take anything from this house, got it?” He waited for the child to nod before setting down the trinket carefully on the dresser.

Liras followed the demon with his eyes as he ran down the stairs, and could hear him as he unsheathed his blades. The crisp sound of metal against metal made him smile, but when the gunshot rang through the house he bolted down the stairs, swinging himself around the banister and froze. Slowly a smile crept onto his lips, his pet held the couple at gun point with the old mans shotgun. A hole in the wall where the man had tried to shoot the boy, though had ended up missing terribly, crumbled and dropped debris onto a small showcase filled with more priceless little trinkets. Atreyu looked over his shoulder at the case then back at the couple that trembled in fear against the smooth white wall. “You almost hit the case. Your lucky you didn’t.” The old woman opened her mouth to scream. “I don’t want to hurt you, Mrs. Rivers. Please hush.” Liras raised a brow when Atreyu used the woman’s name, normally the child could careless about the names of his victims, he must have seen a monogrammed towel with their name on it or something. Quickly Atreyu negotiated their stay, that they would leave the two in the morning and would never come back if they promised never to speak that they had been there. “Also, I want all your trinkets, everything, I will be allowed to take anything I want and you are to say nothing. If one of your friends asks, you sold them. Okay?” Reluctantly the two nodded and Atreyu smiled, cracking the gun in half single-handedly, and replacing his daggers in their sheaths. “Good, Good. Thanks for letting us in again.” Atreyu turned to Liras, awaiting his response.

Liras nodded and smiled patting the child on the shoulder before jogging back up the stairs. Atreyu followed suit glancing back at the couple, who waited for them to return upstairs before they talked to each other about calling the police. “Very nice, as promised, you can have whatever you want. Next time I think you should just kill them. It’s easier that way.” Liras went down the hall and looked through each room before disappearing into the last room on the right side of the hall. Atreyu smiled hugely at the compliment and spun in a quick circle. Yes! Now I can get those Faberge eggs in the guest room. He thought giddily as he skipped into the room Mrs. River’s had shown him originally and picked up each little egg, stuffing them gently into his bag.

When he reached the last egg he looked around the room, pleased with himself that he had successfully retrieved everything in the room he claimed as his. He headed for the door to start on the next room and ran into the only woman in the house. Her tear streaked face hurt him, for a demon not used to feeling sadness or regret he took a step back, confused at the new emotion that flooded his mind and wore down his body until he fell on the floor. “Come here child, I know you mean us no harm, that man is controlling you with something. Come tell me.” She held out her arms to him as though she truly wanted to protect him from his master. He shook his head rapidly and opened his mouth to call for whom he served but the woman knelt beside him and pressed a withered finger to his lips, hushing him if for only a moment. “I know you’re scared but please, let me help you.” She cooed and stroked his hair with one hand and rested the other gently on his cheek. Atreyu could feel her shaking and knew that he scared her but couldn’t bring himself to push her away, he was drawn into her kindness until he heard the familiar baritone voice call for him. As his name passed through Liras’s lips it vibrated through him, replacing something the woman had broken, making him shudder and shake his head, trying in vain to clear it. “Atreyu!” He called again, coming out of the room he had chosen to look down the hall for the boy, and when he laid his eyes on the old woman his eyes flashed a deep red as he came forward, and a low primal growl escaped his throat. “Father.” The child whispered and backed away from the warmth of the woman’s hand and pressed himself against the wall. A perplexed look came over her, then her eyes widened and she looked over her shoulder. Liras loomed over her, claws and fangs extended to a full length as he glowered down at the old woman. “Get away from me, devil incarnate!” She screamed holding up a crucifix. Atreyu’s eyes widened as he realized she had intended to lure him in and then spear him, she wanted to kill him not befriend him. His eyes began to tear when he figured out that she hadn’t really wanted to hold him as he had thought, she just wanted to pierce that wooden death through his back.

TBC....

Thank you again, peace!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Computers

The computers have all been going wacky lately. They're all really stupid. And the guy in my I.T is still hitting on me...I think. It's hard and yet extremely easy to tell with him. But anyway, look. We're making web pages about people that we think have an interesting story to tell and he chose to do one on me. And he wants me to do one on him, but problem. We Don't Know ANYTHING About One Another!! *sighs* This is going to be so frustrating. On a side note, my best at school friend, Heather, is having boyfriend/bestfriend problems. I don't think it's rigth to be talking about her on my blog where anyone that wants to can read it, if they know how to find it. So if you really want to know I guess you'll have to ask, but most of you don't so I don't have to wqorry about it. Anyway, she came to school really sad/pissed/frustrated. And said she gave herself a "reality check" the night before. Funny. I did the same thing, kindof over a guy but not really. Not the guy in I.T. either, it was for someone else. (There are freaks reading over my shoulder....God I hate that.) But yeah, it was a miserable night. Though I did make considerable progress in "Lover Awakened" I'm still not done but it should be soon...hopefully. I really want to know what happens! But I have so much other stuff to do. (I'm VERY easily overwhelmed.) Well I guess I should go now. Peace out, maybe I'll update you on the Voices later.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret


P.S: Does he or doesn't he? I'm scared of where this could go. But I don't want it to stop. I'm pathetic and indesicive. They should all stop liking me.

New Layout

I haven't posted in a while 'cause I've been working on a lot and things have been weird. I'm surprised its already freaking May! There are B-Days coming up so I've been in the F.E. alot earning some money. Anyway, I'm going to go back to doing what I'm doing. Tell me how you like the new look. I know it's dark but I was in that kind of mood...I might change it again. L8r ppl.

TwMa,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Can't be sure what his problem is. I will pose no explanation. It doesn't matter anyway. Leave me alone.

iCube!

Today I titled it as iCube because just now at lunch me and Honora stole our friend Mac's iCube and ran around the school with it. Because he's a ninja we had to hide in the Girls bathroom until the coast was clear then we ran to find some Soph friends that would protect us. Unfortunately we couldn't find Moeberry, so we settled for Jim (almost all names have been changed to protect the sanity and pride of our Soph friends) Then we accidentally ran into Spazzy (or Keileigh...however you spell her name..-_-;) and crew and passed the iCube to her. When Mac finally found us we trembled in humorous fear and admitted that we had passed the iCube to someone else. Slightly peeved Mac stopped stalking us, and went off to find his iCube. So lunch was eventful. How has everyone else's day been? Mine, overall, had been gewd. My dog got bit by a raccoon a while ago so now my whole family is leery about going outside in the early morning/evening. When we let the dogs go outside my grandma takes a hammer with her (for protection) and stays close to the dog that got bit. His name is Ebony. The rest of our pets are not as afraid but Koruyu (Ebony's adopted big brother) is very protective of him and follows him all over the yard. Lady (our other dog, AKA 'Table') will not move off the porch for fear of raccoons. I know for a fact that our backyard terrorist is none other than Commander, a neighborhood gang leader of a raccoon. I don't really have much more to post about. I'm mad at Fange' cause she didn't have to go to school until 11, and I had to get up at six. But my school gets more days off than her so I dion't really have any hard feelings. (Though she does get a better education at AHS...) Anyway, today's question is: Why, when you know somebody is going to talk to you, would you not brush your teeth in the morning? Really though! Come on, you cannot be going to a public place with some rancid meat breath. Okay? Please people for the love of everything Holy; BRUSH YOUR FREAKING TEETH! I can't complain too much because I don't always brush my teeth either (most of the time I do) but I eat a mint or I don't breath in people's faces when I talk to them until I can get to some mints. Okay ^_^ I'm done now. Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Nothing more to say, peace out and shnite lol "...peace out, and long live the king and such..."

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I have a disease called Insta-Crush. The symptoms are automatically liking someone immensely for the way they talk, look, or smile. Then being hurt because they are wrong. (i.e: have a girlfriend, are assholes, are retarded, smell, less cute up close, don't like you, ignore your existence, ect.)

Belated 90th...

I seem to be running late a lot today. Because of the WASL schedule everything and everyone for that matter is a little upside down and backwards. So, the last post was our 90th. Happy 90th post Mr. Blog!

Hope your day was good, people. Today I had to go to a weird little conference thingy with my Algebra teacher, Mrs. Clymer, and my I.T teacher, Mr. Urner. It might sound like a drag but it was actually pretty fun. They listened, and actually seemed like they cared like they really wanted to hear what I had to say. I hope we can do it again sometime, but probably not. Those two teachers are busy people (even though they're my favorites I don't talk to them that much) If any of you ever need someone to just shut up and listen, I'm always available! I'm not good at giving advice though so maybe I could refer you to The Counselor. He be good at what he do. lol I can't wait to get to 100 posts. Then we'll have a celebration, maybe I'll change the layout...I dunno! It will be spiffy. What will you guys do for your 100th post? I know it's not really a big deal, but I need something to celebrate. What else can I talk about today? I don't know I'm not sure I really have much more to say...OH FANGE'!!! Can You do me a major favor and type up that minuscule story thing in your notebook and send it my way? I will love you a million times Infinity if you do!!^_____^ So now that that is finite, I don't know what to write about again! I was looking through my older stuff on this compy and I don't like it. Maybe a PowerPoint will cease my boredom. How long can you write without using "I, Me, or My"? It's hard you know, especially when your writing about yourself. See if you can do it! It's fun saying words that end in "Tion" pronounced shun. Words like completion, demonstration, contemplation, recreation, jubilation, variation, agitation, crazy nation. Lol it's fun. Oh composition, publication, dedication, active notation. Confusion, counts because it isn't spelled with t-i-o-n , but when you say it you can hear shun in it can't you? For extra credit look up a bunch of words (not the ones listed) that end in t-i-o-n or say shun at the end! Okay? That will be fun. Well time flies when thou art having fun, now thy must depart! (avoiding I, Me, My) Fare thee well!!

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: Talking. What I Love to do but rarely have anyone to do it with.

P.P.S: the title of the last post is "We Arrive To School Once Again" or something along those lines. I forget now. Use babelfish.

Nous Arrivons À l'École Une fois de plus...

Buwahahaha I love French. Babel Fish Translations brought to you by Altavista has given me my references so if what I say is not correct....blame them. ^_^ So how was your guy's Spring Break? Mine was good as you should know from my previous posty post. We're still waiting for someone to have a baby coughcough. But I'm sure he/she will be worth the wait, so no rush. Not that you can rush the process anyway. Shetsumae's birthday was last Saturday, sorry I missed it Happy Belated Birthday, Mae. I'll get you your present today, promise. What other news is there? Uhmm....This blog is probably going to be about the Voices pretty much, I've been around them so much this past week it's weird being here. So far todays been pretty good, but as I've learned I'm going to leave while I'm ahead. French sounds weird to me. It's a lot different from English and Waaaay different from Japanese (which I can only speak in my head -_-;) I can't speak the Old Language of vampires but their are a a few words that I recognize when I hear them (even though I'm not supposed to speak it because I'm not a Vampire its hard not to when you know how. When you do speak to them in their language they look at you like your insane and talk to you in a language they know you know(most commonly English, or Japanese)) You know what? One of the Voices asked me what my favorite race was and I would have to say Vampires right off the bat but Mist things are cool too (the sane ones) and Foxes rock. Werewolves are cool too and I love Fallens, and Dragons are my family. I don't really have a favorite but there are a few I watch out for, like freaking Snake demons. I only talk to two of them and those two are harmless, but the others? Aiyiyi...their evil! That makes me sound stereotypical, and I'm sorry but all the other Snakes that I've talked to and what I've heard about them makes them sound mean, but I'm sure one will come along to change my mind. Wow, I've been writing for a while now, have I made any progress? I don't even know. I was going to do a bunch of stuff in this class today but I forgot it all because my mind got so frazzled and screwed up in math class that I can't remember anything that I was going to do, except for when I get home my numero uno plan is to take a shower and clean my room because Nightmare destroyed it while I was gone. *sigh* Children. I love them. (for those of you that are daft Nightmare is a cat, AKA My Son) Well I guess I should go now and do my journal thingy, oh btw we're so close to doing Romeo and Juliet in English!!!! I can't wait I love that story as sad and depressing as it is. Why haven't we done it already? Because my English teacher is slow. You all know that! Anyway like I was saying, Peace out and have an AWESOME day, peeps.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: My secret today is the classes I have the most trouble in contain the teachers that I love (except for Mr. Joshi, I will NEVER like that guy.)

P.P.S: Even if you THINK your teachers don't read what you write...they probably do.

P.P.P.S: Blogging is Fun.

Home Away From Home...

I'm not at my house right now, I'm @ Fange's watching her little cousin play video games. She's @ track practice right now, so I'm all by my lonesome. It's alright though I'll see her tommorow. as weird aas it sounds I'm supposed to "take her place" until she gets back. Its harder than it sounds. I'm tired too but I can't go to sleep because...well I just can't. Surfing the net is fun anyway and I've got to check my e-messages. 'cause if I don't they'll crush me. How has your guys spring break gone? Going? If you already had it how was it? As you should know already mine has been fine so far I guess. I had to argue with my mom to get her to let me stay here. I almost feel baad about it. But I think what I did was right...kinda. Bah! I'll explain to you all later. I don't want to right now. So I'll say peace and let you go on about your day.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Hey, Fange'...I don't like your keyboard. ~_^

P.P.S: I like babies 2 and younger.

Good Day

(uneditedish)
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala It’s a happy day today. And I don’t really know why. But does it matter? Today Rox Sox hardcore. ^_^ Even though we’re doing Excel in this class (I.T) I’m still having a good day! Today is really good, I 0wonder what my horoscope is for today…I read it almost everyday. Yeah. Today is definitely a good day. If I can even have a good time in math class AND info tech, it’s a good freaking day, I hope everyone else is having a good day too. My friend was in her hot tub this weekend and fainted because the water was too hot and she slammed her face into something, cracked open her chin, her lip and hurt her head, so she had stitches in her face. Every time she talks she says her mouth hurts so we keep telling her to shut up. (It’s so fun) When I get home I don't know what I'm going to do, it's so pretty outside I think I'm going to go on a walk and talk to the Voices, and you know what speaking of them, I've been here all day. Wow. The Counselor was right...^_^ Cool Thanks. Maybe I'll stay for tomorrow too. Its awesome, I haven't been here in so long. Most of the time I only stay for select classes but I've been here all day and it's been gewd. That's awesome. OH! I almost forgot,

Congratulations Vaun, Tikara & Yuki-maru

Heehee, if you don't know why there's three names don't ask. Normally it's only two right? Well those three are odd so their always together. ALWAYS. Yes, even in the way you think. ^_^ But their cool. You know what I say a lot? Uh huh, and uhm, and and, and Well, and oh, and I don't know, and hm. lol I say a lot of stuff a lot. I say a lot a lot too. Buwahaha. Maybe I got too much sleep. I don't know I had a good morning so my day isn't screwed up. I was late to school, but I think it made my day better (I say "I think" a lot too, and so) Have you ever thought it would be better if you could go to school whenever? Like As long as you did get there,it wouldn't count as you being late or anything. You know? Ehh whatever. You don't have to understand. Am I rambling? I met a cool new voice today, she's Tuki's friend. (I call him Rise.) Her name is Tessianavee. I call her Tess, Rise's dad calls her Tessa, and Rise calls her Navee. Interesting huh? she's really pretty too. She has really long hair that she wears up in a extremely high ponytail, and her nails are like OMG their soooo long. Like wahh! Her eyes are really pretty purple and gold swirls. They sparkle in the daylight, it's kewl. Heehee I wanna see what happens with those two, cause Rise is a playa. He's not the committed type but hmmmm we'll see, we'll see. Whatelse? Oh my friend Honora, not a voice, had a crazy dream about the people who sing "I'm Too Sexy" (Right Said Fred) What is the craziest dream you've ever had? I think mine would have to be the time when I had those reoccurring dreams where I was dating a really sexy guy and I thought he was real so I'd wake up and be all disappointed and then he became a Voice in my head (THAT was disappointing, thanks a lot -_-;) That's the only weird dream I can remember right now, I've tried writing down my dreams in the middle of the night but when I woke up in the morning I couldn't read what I wrote! It was very gay. I used the '!' in a weird spot just now. Don't you think? I do. Oh well. Because this post is seeming to go on forever I might end it soon. Because I don't want to go back and read it and edit it ^_^ So goodbye, see you later how ever you say tootles in different languages. BYEE! Oh, and have a nice day.

Nothing Can Cool Me,

Sacred Secret

P.S: My secret for today is that when people ask me if I watch T.V I tell them I don't own one, I read instead, but the truth is there are four T.V's in my house and one of them is in my room.

Hey Hey Hey!

It's not Fat Albert! Do you know the way to do eBay? Contemplation Demonstration or repetition condition of mentality disposition. Yes? No? Greenenbo. PSP PS2 xbox gamecube and wii. Gaming for gamers by gaming gamers? http://fanboys-online.com/ is an awesome comic you should go there. Friends and Lovers and Baby's Daddy's and Baby's Momma's. Little Kids and Old ones. Adults and Teens. Hair and Baldness restless leg syndrome. Cancer, AIDS, premarital sex and masturbation. Abortion, Prolife, proage, and cell phones. Driving drunk and driving sober tired anger cold and heated. Swimming naked, temples, nudist colonies and polygamy. YouTube, Fanfiction.net, Hampsters and Neopets. MySpace, Bebo, My Yearbook and The H. French class, Spanish class, German, Japanese. Sign language, deaf guys, blind people and mutes. Dwarfs, midgets, preemies, blacks. Asians, natives, Mexicans and whites. Computers, technology, videos and DVDs. Typing, Writing, reading, publishing. Can it. Forget it. Relieve it. Memorize it. Listen. Hear. Think. Relive. Promise. Keep. Children. Wealthy. Poor. Thoughts. Lead. Wars. Peace Happiness. Jokes. Retaliate. Harmony. Joy. Names. Forgotten. Numbers and math for science and chemistry. Sex ed and physical education balled up into one. reading and writing are next to electives while math is next to phys ed. Friendship and rivalry. Books and magazines.

Controversy.


Think About It,
Sacred Secret

"I Like You On Your Knees."

Don't even ask about the title if you don't already know. It's just too funny, you would have to have been there (or have a nasty mind) to understand. So anyway. How any of you have seen "RENT" the movie? Or heard "Seasons Of Love" the theme from that movie? If you haven't heard it check it out. But there's a really high note in that song somewhere around the end and I want to be able to do that I can't. (the last 21 secondsish.) I can do the end of that but I can't for anything hit the beginning. I don't know how I should say. I'm listening to Ike play his ukulele. It's so cool ^_^ Ukulele's look like really small guitars (its a gitar strang!) and the sound so awesome. Ike plays his all the time, so he's good at it. I don't really have anything else to say to you all today....hm I'll see if I have something in my files for you to read... I don't think I've let you read this yet...I hope you all like it because I wasn't going to post it but I feel nice today so... here you go:

May I Play With You?

You think I care?
Think I care what you think of me?
Do you honestly think I care about you or your opinion?
Well…
I do.
Everything you say hurts.
When you say mean things I think their true.
Kind things you say are lies.
When you invite me places I think your just being mean to screw with my head.
Exclude me and I think I’ve done something to offend you.
Though we’ve never met.
Can you forgive me?
For something I have yet to do?
Something I haven’t thought of?
Would never think of doing…
Could you forgive me for that?
I would try to forgive you.
Would make the effort to make you feel welcome
Even if we weren’t the best of friends,
Because that’s all I want from you.
Is to be a friend.
Can we?
Please?
We’re so alone…

I can't remember why I wrote that but it's probably because of one of the days in this class (I.T) that I was feeling invisible. *shrugs* I don't know. Anyway Tyler's been being mean to me lately, so I haven't been talking to him. I've been letting the Voices come during science class because I can't handle him. The other day he threw a chair at me, then yesterday he hit me with his backpack. I don't know why he's being an ass, but if he's still reading my blogs I want him to know I'm sad at him. ^_^ Now for a different subject in your comments I want you to post your favorite baby name, for those of you that already have kids please post something other than your child's name ( you know who you are -_-;) please and thank you. I'm just curious. To be fair mine are Aubrey (girl) and Seth (boy) I also like Devonte (boy) and Tori (girl) I don't know why but their names are cool. So please comment your favorite names. I found a lot of cute fox and wolf puppy pictures. I'm obsessed. There just so adorable. I've always like babies but baby animals take the cake. ^_^ *heart sparkle joy* Heehee I think their too cute. Enough with that now I'm going to work on my English homework (write a short story) you do it too. But don't put it in a comment. Send it to me! If you don't have my e-mail address write in the comment that you want to send me a story and I'll give it to. (maybe ^_~) Alright people I'm out. See you later!!!

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: I like country music, but some of it does get on my nerves.

Ranting...

(unedited)
I hate this class with a firey passion. The only time I learned anything in here is when we has that really mean old fat lady. But atleast we were learning then. I have a feeling if the original teacher had stayed I would be working right now, instead of wondering what the hell I'm supposed to be doing...*sigh* I wish SOMEONE would HELP me maybe you know maybe someone like the TEACHER after he gets some breath mints because that stuff is rank to high heaven! Seriously, who has that rancid of breath? Sure he looks a little more clean shaven than before but his breath is still gross. SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS CLASS!!!!!!!!! I wish someone could like come in here and ask me what I really wanted right this moment. I would say "another class please." and then they would wave their magic wand and I would be in a new info tech class like that. So much better that way. I want to work on my story for English class. I'm going to go home and leave, have someone else clean my room and the bathroom then I'll come home and work on my my story. I want to cry now... I don't know why either I just do. I want to burst into tears and run out of here. It would feel so good. These people are stupid. Can't someone please, for the love of GOD get me out of here? Please? I can't wait until the freaking school year is over so I can go to french class everyday instead of this hell. Please let me get transfered out of this class please please please!! Its not always like t his but I hate Excel (microsoft program) and God forbid he tell us what to do at all. No. He just writes some questions on the board without telling how we're supposed to answer them. Bah! I hate this class! Hate hate hate! Utter loathing. Grrrr I'm leaving.

Eternal HATRED For Info Tech,
Sacred Secret

Hey

Hey people I didn't post yesterday because of the following reasons;

1) I was sending all the stuff from this computer to mine.
2) The computer was especially slow yesterday.
3) I had an actual assignment to complete
4) And lastly, there just wasn't enough time!!

There wasn't enough time because the schedule is all screwy because of WASL testing. I don't expect you to know what that is, but it is a standardized test for the state I live in. I won't tell you, you'll have to figure it out ^_^ But otherwise how was your yesterday? What about yesterdays tomorrow? Mine is fine. I recieved interesting news last night and even before that equally happy news, Congratulations Lie & Tori. So I'll have to tell Fange' about my discoverings later, if she doesn't already know...which I don't think she does. Hmm. Well I think I'm done for today I don't want to give my stalkers too much to read for now. Maybe you guys will get luckier later...freaks. ^_^ Byeee!!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I'm Not as nice and meek as everyone thinks. ^_~

Title

So how are you all? I'm kind of bored today as once again I am posting from my head. I didn't want to come to school today because Fange' and the elementary schools didn't have to go to school today, but cest la vie. I'm Stickerfiying everyone today with Shamrock stickers. It was my mom's idea. I'm having fun. Moberry's friend gave me a cookie and I shared it with Honora, as we wandered through the halls. Hey, do you know any guys that can scream really high pitched? Like a girl? Some guy did that today, it scared the crap out of me! Needless to say I was very surprised. I'm writing something wrote now because the voice that's here is soooooo nice. She's very tolerant. I'd come actually be here but I'm watching some kids and waiting for their parents. Their asleep now, so I have time to write this but when they wake up I'll have to go. I've been going to career cruising.com and they said in order for me to be a Writer I should take classes like Computer Tech and Keyboarding. As well as English Literature and a bunch of business classes. I didn't think that it would take so much! If I become a Freelance writer I won't have to take all that stuff, plus I won't ever have a deadline I can work at my own pace. That would be awesome but I would need a day job to keep the cash flow. Hmmm I wonder what I'll do. Of course I have other options, other ideas, but right now that's the only one I really see. Do you have a dream job? One you hold tightly in your grasp, a dream you don't plan on letting go anytime soon? I used to want to be a Scientist, I thought I would find the cure for breast cancer but they seem so close now that by the time I got there they would have long since found the cure. But childhood dreams die...though...I still want a horse...^_^ anyway! Crap! Their up and starving (little vampires do that when they wake up =_= oi.) Got to keep their teeth away from me so peace out! Oh! And have an awesome weekend!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Friday is not my favorite day of the week, Monday is.

It's Pie Day!

My nail broke. I never thought I'd say that because my nails are so strong but it broke on the door or something. I don't know. It hurt. Today in Info Tech we are writing about what we know about Global Warming. Isn't it amazing that we're working in I.T.? Mr. Urner must have gotten yelled at or something because now we're working (yes, I'm back at school) and it's kind of fun. Oh BTW its Pie day! You know the mathematical sign, pi? Well it's March 14 which makes it 3.14! Get it? It's a math thing. Anyway Happy Pie Day. So what are you all doing this weekend? I'll probably hang out with my friend and it should be a happy weekend. We're expecting kids this month but nobody has had any yet. :( I'm sad because I love it when people have kids. It's so fun everyone gets excited and happy. Like when Darius and Sayuri had their kids everyone went psycho! Everybody was like "Omigod!" lol it was funny and cute because of the babies and everyone was jumping around wanting to see them and *smiles* It was cool. I guess you could say I'm having a good day today, yes I was here. I've been here all day. And you know what? I'm not invisible in I.T. today. People are talking to me and noticing me. I didn't change anything about myself so maybe it's because I was gone mon-tues. I dunno. Well I guess I'll go now , I actually have to pay attention a little bit! See you all later!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood. (I like to try odd foods as long as the LOOK good)

P.P.S: Does anyone other than me HATE the labels?

"Contemplation Demenstration"

(unedited)
It's something a friend of mine says a lot. I'm not quite sure what it means but he says it all the time. Sometimes though when I'm not paying attention it sounds like something else. Figure it out for yourself. I don't know what to write about anymore. Have you ever done that? Started writing and then had to stop because you didn't know where it should go from there? I do that all the time and Fange' get's mad because I don't finish anything. But I guess she'll have to get over it or I'll have to find some self motivation. I have the sudden urge to read now...but I won't for at least another ten minutes 'cause I'm waiting. We're watching Lifetime. The channel for women. I don't know why either, but it's kind of interesting, a bit creepy. Well I guess I have nothing better to say. *yawns* I'm bored. I think I'll let someone else be bored. lalalala lol yeah right I can't sing right now. My throat is so dead its not even funny. I didn't go to school again today, and I reallly want to go tommorow because I missed a test in science today and God knows what I missed yesterday. Aww this movie is making me sad. No I don't know what its called, but it's very sad so far. I guess I'm going to go do something now. Bye bye bye!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: You don't get a secret this time.

Sick

I'm sick, and it sucks because tomorrow I have to sell girl scout cookies and today I think I have to go to choir. It is Tuesday after all, and small ensemble needs me. I don't really want to go but I've been at home FOREVER now and I'm really really bored. When I'm sick I don't want to lay around all day I get too bored. Unless I feel like total shit then laying around is good. This medicine is good though it really works and I love it. I don't really know what I'm going to do now, I'm very very bored. I guess I'll putt around YouTube for a little while, maybe write something. Eat some more. Well I guess I'll talk to you all later. Maybe I'll post again. But I never do when I say that! Maybe!!

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: Sometimes when I'm mistaken for a boy, I just play along.

Friday

Okay so I'm blogging from my head, the voice that is here is kind enough to let me do this. (thank you) because they have other things to be doing. I just wanted to tell you all that I haven't been here all week. I've only come back a couple times and you can bet it wasn't at school. Next week I'll be here more often (promise), cause The Counselor said I should be. But I like being there and talking to other people that are actually intelligent and I don't have to dumb myself down so they can understand what I'm saying. If anything they have to stupify themselves so I can understand them and it's so great ^_^ I'm so used to people saying things like "What?" and "I don't get it." it's just so frustrating to talk to idiots all the time (I'm sure at least some of you know what I'm talking about) If there weren't intelligent people for me to escape to I think I'd be permanently stupid. So I'm glad for my house, Fange's house and the Voices because I don't want to be dumb all my life (though sometimes I do lack common sense) Enough of my ranting! It's Friday and I am happy. I ate good food, played games, spent time with the coolest kids in the world, and now I'm going to go visit some babies (and their parents) and talk to some other people and get to know new ones! I love my job ^_^ Speaking of jobs I think I've acquired a new one. I don't want it for permanency. It's just fun to do sometimes, okay? Stop asking me to do it for an actual job because I already have one and I LOVE what I do, okay? Okay then. Fill in for someone when I'm not doing anything? Sure. Got an extra job when I'm bored? Okay. Offering a couple dollars when I'm broke? Of course. But keep in mind that I do enjoy babysitting and I want to keep that as my job. Alright? Now that I think about it some people will not understand what I was just talking about and because of it your going to have to stay confused because I'm not going to explain for you. Either try and figure it out yourself or let it go. Alright, I'm done now. Peace Eazy people.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: If I had a true confidante' I would tell them everything about myself the first time I talked to them. I try not to do that with everyone because it gets me into bad friendships. The people I'm close to already know a lot.

Sorry 'Bout That

lol thank you my sistah, I completely forgot after being slapped. That I didn't give you guys your secret! To explain the being slapped thing, some kid walked by and hit me. I don't think it did it on purpose but it still pissed me off because I'm apparently invisible in that class. Anywho here are your secrets for today, later!


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Talking is like a guessing game to me, I tell people what they want to hear, but if I say the wrong thing I play it off.

P.P.S: Sometimes I think I'm something that I'm not and it makes me feel better than everyone else because I pretend they know.

Betches

This post was going to be happy until I got slapped just now. That totally ruined my day just now. This had better not get any worse. I try to make the most of Monday's because they start every week and there's going to be a lot of them. Life is what you make of it so why can't Monday be the same? There's a boy in my Info Tech class who looks (and reminds me of) a rat. Not a very smart rat either, not one you use for testing. Just a regular old ugly, smelly, rat. And he's annoying too! (bonus points!) Otherwise, today has been pretty good. I wish people would watch where their going sometimes, instead of just stopping in the middle of places without thinking about the other people that are trying to get by. You can't say excuse me because they take manners as sarcasm, and you can't just flat out tell them to move because then they get all huffy and hostile talkin about "Why should I?" and "Go around!", "You move." and ish like that. I don't understand why people have to be jerks all the time. Jeeze. Anyway, I haven't completed my publicity stunt yet, I keep forgetting to cut out my blog address. I think I'll just bring scissors to school. In Info Tech I'm writing a lot of things and I'm not letting anyone read them because after I know what someone else thinks about it it makes me feel like the written piece is used and old. So there's a bunch of stuff no body's read yet. And when I'm done with them I'll send them to my house computer and post them up here or print them out and give them to Fange' and my Mom. My Info Tech teacher, Mr Urner, is a pretty off the rocker kinda guy. Like right now there's a kid drawing a "picture" of him on the whiteboard and he's totally cool with it. When class started he made everyone shake his hand before they cam into the class. It was so weird, but he does odd ball stuff like this all the time. Wow. Anyway I think I'm gonna go now maybe I'll post something later...I doubt it though. Hmm....whatever, peace ya'll or as the newest voice says: Later bye-bye!


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Daddy's Little Girl

Daddy's Little Girl
Frankie J

He drops his suitcase by the door
She knows her daddy won't be back anymore
She drags her feet across the floor
Tryna hold back time to keep him holding on
And she says

Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you
Daddy Daddy don't leave
Mommy's saying things she don't mean
She don't know what she's talking about
Somebody hear me out

Father listen
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go
Father save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
I pray to you

Now she hasn't slept in weeks
She don't want to close her eyes cause she's scared that he'll leave
They tried just about everything
But it's getting harder now
For him to breathe
And she says

Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you
Daddy Daddy don't leave
The doctors are saying things they don't mean
They don't know what they talking about
Somebody hear me out

Father (father) listen (listen)
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go
Father (father) save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
I pray to you

Please don't let him go
I'm begging you so
There open his eyes
There ain't no more time
To tell him that I love him more
Than anything in the world
Is Daddy's little girl

Father (father) listen (listen)
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go
Father (father) save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
She was Daddy's Little Girl

Mmmmm Oh

Choir

This Picture Is Dedicated To Those Who Have Ever Had A Shitty Day.

Okay so I went to choir today, didn't have very much fun. I was really bored and I'm going to quit (don't try to talk me out of it this is my last quarter) I ate milk and cookies and I want to write about stuff but I can't and I....UGH! I don't want to go to school anymore, 'cause today right before lunch and then again before 5th period depression hit me. Like a wave I couldn't control it, it bum rushed me and left me shaky and on the brink of tears for reasons beyond me. When I was steady I went on with my day and I was fine until the next time. But ugh...maybe I'll just stay in y head from the time my alarm clock goes off until I get home and crawl into my bed @ which time I'll leave again and restart the cycle. "The Counselor" says that I should spend some time here just to keep up with things. But I don't want to because it hurts...*Sighs* I'll just come back every once in a while so that I'm doing bot h what I want and taking the suggestion of "The Counselor". So I'll probably post from my head when I'm at school. Speaking of school I have a "Student Led Conference" on Friday. It's a take-home thing though so there won't be any teachers there. Now I'm going to do something I have been wanting to do. It's probably very dumb and it won't do much but it's another "publicity stunt" I'm going to print out my blog address and put it into random people's lockers tomorrow at lunch. I don't know what will happen and I'm not expecting much but I want it to be something good. If not oh well. I guess I'll go now. And do something...or something...Here's a pic:It reminds me of the voices.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: Singing makes me tired.

Nothing To Do With Me.

The following poem/thingy has nothing to do with me, though I did write it. This is the morbid poem thingy I was talking about yesterday and don't worry about me because I like life too much for me to do any of the things listed in the following poem. Okay? All of those I know that may freak out about this please don't worry 'cause like I said I like life too much for this to happen. I think the only person I've talked about this poem to is "The Counselor" and he said it scared him too. But I explained it to him and now he understands. But he also only read the unedited version. I don't think this version is as scary. So...here goes...

"My Note"

Created By: Sacred Secret

I ran all the possibilities through my head
I wrote them down in script.
I thought about the people that would be affected
But figured my pain was greater
Than any, they could know.
I did it very quiet
I left them in the dark
The paper lay beside the spot where I would fall.
For a moment more I thought of them
The people I held close.
Of all the good times and the smiles
I thought of all the children I had yet to have
The significant other that would never hold me close
I thought of my Mother and what she would think when they found me
My Father and his tears.
Then the darkest angel came into my thoughts.
Their face blurred my vision and they whispered my name
I trembled and lost control of my legs.
Tears streamed down my cheeks
I screamed
“Don’t come any closer! You have done enough!”
And they stared in disbelief
I brought it to my head
Felt it swirl in my loose grasp
I pressed the cold steel to my temple
And adjusted my grip
“Please...”
They whispered as I closed my eyes
“This can’t go on you’ve hurt me enough.”
I said calmly
As my baby sisters little hands reached up at me in my mind
For the last time.
I heard my older brothers deep laugh and remembered the vibration in his chest from it.
For the last time.
I opened my eyes and stared straight at my dark angel
I told them to look
Look at what they have done.
I told them not bring another this fate.
And I released the blast into my own head.
I saw the ceiling
I could hear my dark angel scream my name
I saw my blood pool around me
Felt it mat my hair
Then I was cold and that was the last I felt.
I saw my baby sister again
I saw my brothers disapproving frown.
Saw my Mother and Father curled into themselves bawling.
I saw my dark angel and me on the swings of the schoolyard.
Saw myself as a child.
And in that moment I actually
Regretted Everything.
As I continued falling into what seemed to be an increasing cold
I wished I could go back if only for a moment
And rewrite my note…
But now I can’t
And this is what I have left them…

“Dear those I thought cared,
How could you have been so cold? Didn’t you care?
Obviously not or else, I would still be sitting there talking to you instead of you reading this smiling. Though you’re probably enjoying this, watching my blood seep from my wounds to pool at your feet. I hope you have fun at the party celebrating my death.
To My Angel, I sincerely hope…
You take full blame.”

There you have it. Please don't freak out, as I said. Take it in, and comment. Thank You.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: I actually edited this poem. I don't ever edit anything most of the time.

Hey Look!

I'm having a good day. And I don't want anything to ruin it because they have been so few and far between these past days. Right now life is good and there is nothing negative on my mind. I love it. I've been at my friends for winter break and I had mad fun. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Lol and all the people that tried to comment but couldn't don't be discouraged! Sometimes Blogger just hates everything and wants to be Emo so just try again some other time! And I found out that more than just one person reads my blog! Yay 'You know who'!!! I luvs ya!! I forgot what I was gonna say. I was writing a poem in my head but its morbid and unedited and it doesn't make any sense so you don't get to read it yet. I'm gonna go do other stuff now so I'll posty posty later okay? Okay. Peace

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I'm not sure which world I like more, the one in my head or my "reality"

...

(unedited)

I don't know who'ss winning or losing in this situation but I know its not both at the same time because if it was then we wouldn't be so confused, he wouldn't be so pissed off, and I wouldn't be so irritated. How dare he be mad at me! Like he couldn't have this coming when I told him! When we broke up the first damn time I told him: "YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM ME I BRING BAD NEWS AND CONFUSION!" did his dumbass listen? God no! Jesus he acts like its all my fault I wuite clearly remember giving him full warning and a clear chance to get the hell away but did his stupidass take the hint? Nooooo of course not he just figures I'm lying to him and I don't have aduquate reason to break up with him becuase "I'm crazy blah blah blah" You know "crazy" people normally know what they're talking about. Someone should listen to them one day and find out. But "crazy" people make "sane" people feel crazy so they don't talk to them I guess because they don't want to admit their dumb. Well I'm gonna go now. Peace

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I Hate Life.

Updation

I don't know if that's really a word but I like it. And as for the updation in question...do you like? Comments and things please!

P.S: This isn't a real post so you don't get a secret

I'm Changin' Some Things...

Where will it go from here? Where will they stop?

Sigh...

I'm happy/frustrated because someone other than Fange' read my blog (Thank you) and Blogger hates me right now and I can't do anything!! This is the third time I've written this. Maybe I'm the incompetent one but good lord! Was I mean to it? Why does it hate me? I'll have to thoroughly edit this later when I get home so you can get all the cool stuff. I was going to post a picture and a poem/story/song thingy but as I said Blogger hates me right now and I can't do anything. I'll see you all later I guess.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret


P.S: I know I'm a good singer but when other people say it and I agree out loud I'm conceited, when I don't agree I don't know how to take compliments.

P.P.S: I love dual meanings (especially the gross ones)

Publicity

I'm handing out my web address to the people I know will read it. This is a big step for me especially since I've been putting my actual secrets on here. Oh I hope I'm not making a huge mistake. I'm only giving it to people who have Info Tech, and I think I can trust. My mom already has the site address but she doesn't come here she just wants to show her friends we have a "close" relationship. My horoscope says I'm not supposed to talk to Scorpio's (my Mom) I'm a Capricorn and it says we are incompatible. But I guess whatever is whatever. I'm working in my Geography Final right now because the Voice that was here last night didn't finish (she looked exhausted, and yet so happy) I love having my music with me because I can block out all the stupidity around me. But I guess sometimes I just want to get lost in my own little world where no one can bother me except for the people I want to. I don't know why I pretty much only post during Info Tech but that's just because it's easier I think. A lot of people don't understand what having a "blog" is, but I tell them it's just like MySpace. Except less stress and less popularity. I have a blog so I can release myself and let someone else read it without knowing who it was that read it. I suppose I should go now. Peace Out 07'!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: I still like my Ex-Boyfriend but I'm afraid I'll confuse him (and me) if we go out again.

Ephebiphobia

Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers

I'm bored today, and I'm not sure whats different about today either. Maybe I'm just not feelin' it today. By It I mean that vibe you get when you know your alive. In Info Tech class right now and Mr.Urner is teaching us how to take notes (because we don't know how to do that. @_@) I've also found an interesting quote that I am supposed to save. I'll post it:

"It's hard to believe that moments that once brought a smile to my lips now bring tears to my eyes." -- Suketsu Tenshi Aleandera

Don't steal it, because it isn't yours and you didn't say it. I'm tired now. I want to write stuff but I can't because I don't know what to write. I want to read something but I can't because it will look like I am not paying attention. I talked to my dad online the other night and I never want to do it again. Just because of how stupid he is 'sometimes' (because he isn't dumb all the time...at least I'd like to believe so) I want to cry but I can't because I don't know how in a sense. That's my secret for today. That I can't cry. No matter how hard I try to I just can't. Crying pisses me off for some reason and when I do it I hate myself for crying in the first place and hate myself for not being able to show the emotion others can. When I can though...when I am on the brink of tears I hold them back, even though I know I won't be able to do it later. I should stop explaining this because I'm going to regret doing so later.
I have a question for you all, what would you want your epitaph to say? For those who don't know what and epitaph is look at the bottom of the page for "Word Of The Day" I haven't changed it in a while so those who frequent that section of the blog I'm sorry. Now I want to post this before I have to type it again because I think the computers are going to "mysteriously" go out again like on Friday.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Crying pisses me off, but when I can't cry I hate myself.

Celebrity Deathmatch

I'm watching Celebrity Deathmatch and it's funny. If you've never seen it before (you live under a rock) it's about clay celebrities beating the living hell out of each other. It's great. So yeah. I haven't posted a picture in a while and that one's pretty good. I like it anyway. So how are you all? I'm fineish.

I'd tell you but I don't really want to. I'm only posting 'cause I'm bored. See you all later.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret


P.S. I'm jealous of my best friends body, and I hate my own.

P.P.S:
“Large fibs; offing eye theodicy zero nigh ash one region black panther. “ --- Half-Witt & Fange'

Water Bottle

There was a much better version of this post that I was in the process of writing before this nimrods in my class restarted ALL the computers by turning off the main power. God I could strangle them! I want to switch out of this class but I can't yet. I have to wait. I don't think they'll let me switch anyway it's not important. Anyway this post WAS about

Water Bottles
Fears
Epitaphs
Dumbasses
Bathrooms

But now it's not because I don't want to write all of that over again. But because their stupidity isn't fair to you, I'll post all my fears (some of them I just like the sound of)

Favorite/Self Phobias:
1. Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself
2. Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
3. Achluophobia- Fear of darkness
4. Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.
5. Anglophobia- Fear of pain.
6. Atelophobia- Fear of imperfection.
7. Belonephobia- Fear of pins and needles.
8. Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness.
9. Catagelophobia- Fear of being ridiculed.
10. Chronophobia- Fear of time.
11. Daemonophobia- Fear of demons.
12. Eremophobia- Fear of being oneself or of loneliness.
13. Gerontophobia- Fear of old people or of growing old.
14. Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666.
15. Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
16. Hypegiaphobia- Fear of responsibility
17. Isolophobia- Fear of solitude, being alone.
18. Kakorrhaphiophobia- Fear of failure or defeat.
19. Lygophobia- Fear of darkness.
20. Microphobia- Fear of small things.
21. Monophobia- Fear of solitude or being alone
22. Nyctophobia- Fear of the dark or of night.
23. Uranophobia- Fear of heaven.
24. Parturiphobia- Fear of childbirth.
25. Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.
26. Phengophobia- Fear of daylight or sunshine.
27. Poinephobia- Fear of punishment.
28. Pyrophobia- Fear of fire.
29. Sciophobia, Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows.
30. Selenophobia- Fear of the moon.
31. Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words
32. Teratophobia- Fear of bearing a deformed child or fear of monsters or deformed people.
33. Triskaidekaphobia- Fear of the number 13.
34. Zelophobia- Fear of jealousy.
35. Zeusophobia- Fear of God or gods.

Well that's all you get because I'm feeling pissed off and lazy, like I said, and I don't want to write all that again. Maybe I'll do it later when I get home. Probably not though so don't hold your breath. *sighs* This was going to be a long post. That saddens me. W/e its too late now. Want to read part of a 'poem' I wrote? Of course you do. It's called "How Does It Feel?©"

"How Does IT Feel?©"

How does it feel to be left by the world?
So alone not even the rain will give you company.
So this is the life you’ve chosen little bird.
The kind that does not bring friendships but enemies instead
You’ve entered a land that no one is willing to walk through with you, even though you loath them all, still you wish for their company, don’t you?
So this is what you want, little bird?
This is what you’ve chosen.
Accept that now even the clouds shun you for your betrayal.
You shall live for neither side.
Nor shall you die for either.
You have chosen this path, little bird.

A destiny you must live with.

What do you think? I like it but I don't think it's too good. I like the last one better, you know the one I'm talking about? "Let's Go To Paradise". I like that one because a lot of other people like it. I showed it to almost everyone in my fifth period class. A lot of them laughed at the title though, but they can kiss my ass. There's only a couple minutes of class left so I guess I should start wrapping things up. How are you all? I'm fine. From now on at the end of my posts I'm going to put one secret that I have. That way I can feel better and begin my new years resolution. I started working on it late because most people have broken theirs by this point. Okay see you all later.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S. I lie to my loved ones more than I lie to my enemies.

Let's Go To Paradise

I wrote this yesterday after talking to a couple of the voices. I guess you could say what we talked about inspired me....here you go:

Let’s Go To Paradise.©

Take me away to a place I can feel
Where the winds and the rains are forever calm
Where the grass is green on both sides of the fence
Where no matter how long you’re in the tub you never wrinkle up.

Take me away to a place I can live
Where children can fufill all their dreams
Where adults always have enough money
Where the elderly are not taken for granted or given limits.

Take me away to a place that doesn’t hurt
Where teenage hearts can prosper
Where the widowded can find love again
Where children and ‘puppy love’ are taken seriously

Take me away to a place far away
Where the people are new
Where everyone knows your name
Where the coffee shops are different and there isn’t one Starbucks

Take me away to Paradise
Where I can meet with my loved ones again
Where life doesn’t seem so pressured
Where you and I can rest peacefully together every morning and play every night.

Take me away to a place where we can be together

And not judged or told what we do is wrong because of our

Age, race, backgrounds, raisings, income, clothing, friends, parents,
or living status.

Take me away, and I’ll take you and together we can play in the neverending field.
Take me away from my problems and I’ll take you
Take me away.
And I’ll take you.

I hope you like it, and for the people who inspired it I hope its good.

Time has been flying by really fast today. I took my math final and...*shudders* I'd rather not relive the moment. I have my music today. ^_^ I'm happy. And I haven't gotten it taken away! But I don't want to jynix myself so Shhh! Buwahaha hey you know what's really gross? Thinking about my ex-boyfriends' mom doing his step dad. *gags* Yuk. So grody. I'm telling you because my mom told me yesterday. Ick ick ick. SO nasty. Anyway, I've got to study for my Info Tech final. PEACE! (try to get that image out of your mind ^_~)

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: Calm Down '07, its gonna be O.K.

No Musick...

I have no music because the banned it in the Exploration academy and I don't want it taken away from me. :( I'm very sad and very bored...I'm bringing it tomorrow.

Bored Out Of My Ever-Lovin' Mind,
Sacred Secret

Color Quiz!!

Personality Analysis of Sacred Secret.
Generated on Wed Jan 24 10:05:59 2007.

Sacred Secret's Existing Situation
Dissatisfied. The need to escape continued involvement with her present circumstances makes it imperative for her to find some solution.


Sacred Secret's Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.


Sacred Secret's Restrained Characteristics
Feels that she is burdened with more than her fair share of problems. However, she sticks to her goals and tries to overcome her difficulties by being flexible and accommodating.
Trying to calm down and unwind after a period of over-agitation which has left her listless and devoid of energy. In need of peace and quiet; becomes irritable if this is denied him.


Sacred Secret's Desired Objective
Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feeling into which she can blend. Responsive to anything esthetic and tasteful.


Sacred Secret's Actual Problem
Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.



Take the ColorQuiz yourself right now!

Flying Without Wings

Flying Without Wings Lyrics

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the faces of their children
Some find it in their lovers eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you find that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing in every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the works of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You'll find it in the deepest friendships
The kind you cherish all your lives
And when you know how much that means
You have found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cuz who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete

But for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place
It's the little things that only I know

Those are the things that make you mine, all mine
And it's the flying without wings
'Cuz you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
You're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy it brings
I'm flying without wings



TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Alright Cool

(unedited)
6oth post. Alright woot woot!

So anyway second post today I know kinda weird for me but I want to write. I don't know about what. I look over my old writings and I hate them. I mean I really loathe them with a passion, but I can't delete them off my computer because I know I'll regret doing that later. I'm bored though. Io should do my homework and study for my many tests but I don't really want to'cause that requires movement but so does eating. *sighs* I guess I should get to it...Oh yeah my english project is due tommorow I think instead because Mr.Sampson wants the essay to be good. I'm watching the news I know kill me now but I can't help it 'cause it's on. I'm so tired and I've been asleep for like four hours. I feel really heavy too. I think I'm going to leave. Yeah I have to work anyway.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Hey People

Hey guys what's up? I'm doing alright I guess. I mean nothings really pullin me down but I already feel under. You know? I feel like I can't get back to where I was before. But I guess that's okay as long as I don't feel any worse. I got new songs for my iPod. They're good. I'm listening to "Welcome To The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. They're good. I like their music but some of it's weird. Kind of like that one guy on ABS. lol I love that. abs at ABS. Albino Blacksheep rules. So does Bored.com. That place is awsum too. I spelt awesome stupid. Does anyone know why people have to be illiterate on the Internet? I just don't get hat like it takes so much more effort to put an 'o' in 'you'. And about iPods and other MP3 Players...people don't blast those tiny little speakers. If you have t he big ones (Fange') you can play it as loud as you want because no one can hear it but you. I know rock songs and songs that you really like you want really loud but when your around other people or somewhere quiet...don't be stupid. Thank you n_n. Now for other news my ass hurts and I have to work on these essays for class tomorrow so I'll talk to you all later. Peace!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S.: Pssstt! HeyFange'....HI!! ^___^

School Again

Well I'm back at school now and I'm working on my essays for tommorow. Ehhh I'm not doing well I only have two done out of six! Plus I think I bombed (did badly) on my math test today in third period. *sighs* As long as I'm not failing. And Finals are coming up. I need stuff for my diaorama for English class plus the essay to go with it. Jeez I'm shoulder deep in homework. I hope next semester isn't so bad...


TWMA (Maybe)
Sacred Secret

P.S.: Don't go to high school it's bad for your back _-_,

Oh My God It's Still Snowing!

It's still snowing guys. And I've got today off again. Brr it's cold, I'm just watching the snow fall and I'm cold. I think after it stops it should stay for a few more days. Not that I don't want to go back to school....<_<>_> You know though I can't help but think when I'm going to get out of school in June. I dunno. My cousin, Randy, got back from New York yesterday and so he's in the living room on the phone right now. He's always on the phone and bothering Nightmare. *sighs* my poor cat. Well it's cold and I'm bored. So guess what I'm going to do? I'm gonna crawl back into my bed and turn on my music. Hey Fange' I heard you have school today. Sorry, :( I love you.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Editing

Hey, I'm editing my blog. So if you experience some weirdness that's why. Just refesh it a couple times or come bac later. No big. Tell me how you like the changes!


Mixin' It Up,
Sacred Secret

Quick

(unedited)

Today is weird so far and I'm not sure why. It just is. I think it's because I don't have my music with me. And I'm actually aware of what is going on around me. *shrugs* I dunno. But it's weird. The crazy sub choir teacher is gond now (FINALLY) and Rosey is back! Yeesss! IT's so great. He had a baby and his name is Jeremiah, born on December 12 2006. He's almost two months old already and Rosey is just coming back! Oh well. lol when I have kids I'll probably quit my job for a year or two! I'd be too attached to go back to work. Unless it's just me. Then I wouldn't have a choice. So I haven't updated in a while, sorry about that. I've just been busy. Midterms of sorts are coming up now that the holidays are gone gone gone. I'll try to post more often, and tell you guys more. Right now I've only got a couple minutes left of class to tell you that a guy in my choir has been hitting on me (I think) so far he's gone out with two different girls in the choir. Maybe I'm trippin' but I think he's trying to get to me. O_o I hope I'm mistaken. That weird girl that sits next to me is talking but I'm not really paying attention, and it smells like hairspray...I blame Ciara for that. Lakeyah, my ex-best friend is in the doorway withher weird pink back thing talking to the kids in this class. Well I've only got five more minutes of this pathetic excuse for a class. Timwe to pack up and bolt. (Science is next)

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Dreams

What wonderful things they are that allow us to live and yet die in the same scene. Dreams are blissful unrealities that unable us to live out all of our dreams and all of our fears. Who would want to live out their own fears though? Someone who has never experienced fear, one who has yet to experience pain. A child. Though I would never wish any fear or pain upon a child I would like for them to experience the feelings at least once, if not in life than in their dreams. Dreams are the core of your imagination, if you do not dream you possibly are not as creative a you could be. But I digress. Or perhaps I don’t. Is it not possible that rambling is only a forming idea? Quickly ever so quickly does it for and take over thine mind with overwhelming anticipation and giddiness. Soon after this idea is formed you would wish to carry it out would you not? By doing so possibly giving someone else an idea, being creative is a wonderful thing, truly it is. Maybe you can figure out a way to dream and be awake at the same time? Like breathing and talking, like relaxing and working. Things that wouldn’t normally come together until it is invented or found through accidental experimentation. Alright my odd rambling is over for the time being. Farewell.

TWMA,
SACRED SECRET

Who's an Internet Whore?

I am!

God I don't think I could live very long without going insane if I did not have this glorious thing called the internet. I may try and act like I don't really need it, but god almighty is it an ever important thought in my head. I don't have a MySpace or anything but I'm always wondering if I missed something, or if I have an important e-mail waiting for me, did I miss something on my calrendar? Oh god the inhumanity. I think the government should issue everyone an up to date working computer with DSL or better. I know I'm crazy but you all should have known that by now!! So how was your holiday? My Christmas was beautiful, I got almost everything I wanted. I got my iPod, and my stereo, plus I got mass Nightmare Before Christmas stuff (including a belt, a stocking, a keychain, some magnets, chapstick, stationary, ect) and I got a bunch of gift cards ( I LOVE GIFT CARDS) which allowed me to buy two new video games. Gods I love Christmas and now my b-day is almost here. I love holidays. I love a lot of things now that I think about it. So I guess I'm going to go surf my beloved internet until the sun comes up!! OH Yeah!

Internet Whore Forever,
Sacred Secret

Merry Christmas!

Hey! It's almost christmas, and since I probably won't post again until maybe my birthday, I'll leave yowith something that will entertain you. RANDOM STUFF FROM INFO TECH CLASS! Yaayy!! Okay, here we go!
This first selection is called "Away" I don't remember why...

"Away©"

Do you know how I feel when you touch me?

Do you know I can barely hold back tears?

Do you know how much you remind me of the things I used to know?

Do you know that when you speak I shudder?

Do you know how much your voices are a like?

The only difference I'm afraid is you've taken longer, loved me shorter.

Can you believe that there are people like me?

People whom just want to be truly loved. I cannot believe it has taken me so long.

To realize that I have done this by myself.

Maybe I should go away and try to live alone by myself away from me away from you…

Can you believe that I’ve been waking in the middle of the night, just to make sure your arm is still around my waist?

Just to make sure you are still holding me tightly?

To make sure that my body is still perfectly contoured to yours?

I can't believe I've made it this far...

Or that you've helped me reach it.

Well that was fun right? Kind of interesting if I do say so myself. Here's something else, this is called "Boredom" no wonder...

Once upon a time there was a magical greenbean. The magic greenbean got eaten one day and turned the cow that ate him into a frog that then got eaten by a snake that got eaten by another snake that got eaten by a crocodile that got killed and worn by some people that just happened to all be on the same plane that just happened to crash in the middle of the atlantic ocean. The moral of this story is: Run on scentences are bad for you, so watch your punctuation.

I was reaalllyy bored when I wrote that. Thus the title. This next thing is kind of a song kind of not. I'm not really sure what to call it. But it's technically titled "The End Of Humanity"

"The End Of Humanity©"

This is an end to humanity.

This is the end of my sanity.

This is the end, yes, this is the end.

This is the end of us all.
Can you feel it?

Can you feel hidden deep within your bones?

Can you feel it?

The sorrow searching for a home.
It’s such a feeling that it gives the reasoning to tell you this is the end.

This is the end.

This is the end of us all, us all.

This is the end of us all.
Must I say it again?

I will tell you only once more.

This feeling I’m getting is something I’m fretting.

Not something I can just ignore.
This is the end, yes, this is the end.

This is the end of us all, us all, this is the end of us all.

Morbid little tune isn't it? Well I think I'm doen now, that's all you get. So Merry Chrismahaunakwannzaka to you! lol I so stole that just now. And to answer a recent question Gaiety means cheerfulness and or merriment.

Alright, peace out everyone!

TWMA,

Sacred Secret!

P.S: And A Happy New Year!!!!

The Best Years

Song(s) Of The Day: "Through The Glass" --- Stone Sour & "Behind Blue Eyes" ---- Limp Bizkit

(unedited)
I was just looking at my stuff from elementary school and you know what? Those were the best years of my life. Minnimal drama, recess, cool teachers (mostly), little homework, field trips, man that was the best. I miss going to the Pacific Science Center in the spring and coming in from recess soaked with grass stains on my jeans from rolling around in the grass fields. I loved playing actual games in gym class and looking forward to it. I liked hanging out with my Real friends before/during/after school. I liked the simple gossip that didn't really matter. I though it was cool that it was okay for me to be out of the loop 'cause I wasn't the only one. I think my best experience in elementary school was the sixth grade. I learned a lot then, and I want to go back. But I don't want to feel the pain of splitting up again. That sucked. Me and my friends split up and went to different middle schools, but it's kind of okay now 'cause most of them go to my current school. Maybe I'm just feeling loathesome of my current situation right now, I don't know.

Phrase Of The Day: "Your only as good as what you create."

Punctuation Of The Day: "."

Well, I guess I'l go now. I've tidilated your senses enough. Oh btw check out those songs, okay? Their really awesome.



TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Jeez!

Holy crap can you believe it's almost Christmas already!? That went by hella fast. First I'm rolling down the street trying to go places after Thanksgiving then BOOM! It's Christmas time! Jeez...time needs to slow down a little bit I don't want to be older just yet. I like this age. I'm just settling into it. Doesn't it seem that way? You finally start telling people how old you really are because you haven't forgotten and you've got to start saying something else because your birthday came. It's insane. I know I know I don't have any reason to complain that I'm old but I feel like I can! Old people can't really complain either can they? What's so bad about being old other than you lose your flase teeth all the time and people start calling you gramps? I don't see a problem with being and old person who get's to sit on their butt all day and do whatever they please, be respected by total strangers 'cause your old. I like respect. I like being lazy. Being old sounds perfect to me! I could be wrong of course. Also, if young people and old people don't get along how come middle aged people who aren't kids anymore get along with old people? Is it because their about to be old? I dunno. Tell me if you find out. But then again I know alot of adults who hate old people, and they like seriously cannot stand them. It's funny sometimes. Well I guess I'll get to steppin now. I'm gonna go take a shower and eat some cereal. I like cereal. YEAH!


TWMA,
Sacred Secret