This is that one

Which case is it that you write everything backwards?
esacrorriM!

Hahahahahah!
If you don't get it, thats fine. I just made it up anyways. I'm trying to blog right now while my Sweet does her homework for her newest class. Its an English 101 class, which according to her test scores, she shouldn't have to take. But since degrees don't care about test scores, she's gonna take it anyway. Needless to say, she's a little frustrated.

In other news, I think I might have to poop. Maybe. I can't really tell.I have noticed that I have gotten comfortable enough around my Sweet one to fart in front of her. -smirk- this is by far the funniest thing.Ever. Seriously. I don't know why its so funny. But it is. It makes me laugh. That's all for now. If I decide to post something later, I might. But my mom's house (where I'm staying for the moment) doesn't have internet. soo...kinda screwed there. But whatev's. If I feel like it tomorrow, while Sweetness is at school, I'll wander down to Fred Meyer (they have Wi-Fi) and post then. Maybe.

Hehehehe,

Sacred Secret

PS: Toot!

Happy Anniversary, Sweetness

Sweetness,

There aren't a lot of things I can say right now. But I want you to know that I appreciate you giving me this chance to show you that fairy tales don't always have to have a "Prince". And even if its only a temporary fantasy that I'm living in, I'm glad that I got to live it at all. I know that I won't be the one you grow old with, but I'll definitely grow old beside you. And not just because that's the way nature works. No matter what happens, you hold a piece of my heart. Right here, right now, though we are apart, you are beside me. Because I carry you with me wherever I go.

I love you, Sweetness.
And though it may break my heart, I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure you're happy.

Love,
Mushroom
Aka Sacred Secret

Late night postings

I've been laying here for about an hour and half now. And I can't fall asleep. I just can't. I miss Sweetness. I miss the demanding way we cuddle and I miss falling asleep with her tucked safely beside me. I worry about her when she's on her own. This is probably a nonsense post, since I should, by all rights, be tired as hell. I have to say, I really like the Blogger app better than the text to Blogger thingy. Those way, I can write as much as I want. No limits. Of course, because its on my phone, I probably won't ever post this way very often. Why? Cause its too damn hard to type this much on a touch screen! Considering how late it is though, I think I'm doing pretty well in the typo department. It's 3am. Sweetness should be waking up in about an hour or so. She's working this weekend, getting a lot of hours. I wish I had a way to earn more money. Our anniversary is in two weeks. And I have no idea what I'm going to do for her. I can't ask anyone for help. They'll look at me weird. I wish I could get Sweetness something that she really wants. Maybe, I could try to get her necklace fixed...that's a crappy present though. Hmmm...this is hard. Any suggestions? Anyone? Anything at all would be great. Usually I start thinking about what to get her really early, but this time, I just had too much on my mind. I'm sorry, Sweetness. I'm always letting you down. I shouldn't go to New York. I should stay here and focus on getting a job. But I don't want to do that. I want to go to New York. I wish I was tired enough to go to sleep. It's annoying. Being sleepy but not being able to sleep. I'm hot too. This sucks. I want my Sweetness back! :(
I'm going to try to go to sleep again now.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Titleless

A stream of consciousness follows.

If there is nothing at the end of this world, why do we work? If there is ultimately nothing that will bring us true happiness, then why do we strive? What is the point of pain and heartache? Growth, I believe. If you do not grow, you cannot experience new things from a different point of view. If you remain in the same view point, then your ignorance will define you. And ignorance makes you hopeless, whether knowledge brings you grim reality or not.I have been offered the opportunity to travel. It is a harder decision to make then most seem to understand. I am aware that embarking on this trip will force me to grow, and change. This prospect is exciting and unnerving. I want to go. I also, do not want to go. But it is very difficult to make up my mind when all the advice I am given is biased. I am learning, even now, that I must make this decision without the impacts of others thoughts. If I go, I will not return home as the same person, in the same frame of mind. However, I am also nervous that I will return to be exactly the same. I do not enjoy my current position. I am not...happy. This, I cannot explain because I do not know. I do not know why I am unhappy, or with what. But I am. Something in my heart aches. Something in my soul cries out but the voice is so lost and buried under the wants and needs of others that I cannot hear it. I only hear the voices of others. I have lost my own. If I leave, I hope to find the voice I have lost. But I am frightful that if I do find that voice, it may say something I am not willing to admit. Something I'm not ready for. But then, pain and struggle are the reasons for life, aren't they? If there is no change and no struggle, then there is no life. Humans must fight for happiness, because they are either too intelligent or too stupid to float aimlessly through their short lives. With summer quickly approaching, and my window of opportunity rapidly closing, I must come to a decision. If I am to go, I must tie my finals ends and begin preparations for my trip...however...there is one more thing...there is My Sweetness. I haven't told her any of this, and she may read it before I have the chance, but I wish she would be happy for me...I wish that she could understand that leaving her will be difficult for me. I can't even begin to describe the feeling that is lodged in my chest at the thought. This is why I haven't said anything. Because I cannot describe it. And I fear she may think I'm lying or have no true reason if I cannot explain.But I do have a reason, I do have one.I just can't say what it is. It may be because I'm afraid of who I will be when I return. What if she doesn't grow too? She will be the same, and I will be different. How can I help her to grow as well? Or is that something she must do on her own? I want to talk to her about my nervousness and my excitement. I want to be able to include her and plan with her and share these things. But she doesn't want me to. She has no desire to hear any of it. Because she is also afraid. I understand her fear, as I have stated. But...do we handle things so differently? I am unable to openly talk to her about so many things because I do not wish to make her uncomfortable or upset. She is fragile, like glass or porcelain. And it would pain me too greatly to pressure her into anything, to upset her, to cause her tears...to cause her true pain...I am afraid to leave and come back....only to find Sweetness to be the same sweet-faced beautiful girl I left behind, and for me to be the person that she used to know...I am so afraid...but I must find my voice again. I don't remember when I buried it, but lately I have been seeing things that make it cry out a little louder. High school, my diploma, my possible trips to France or Italy, my family, my old friends...these things are causing my inner voice, my buried, muted voice to rasp...but I cannot her what she has to say. I don't understand her. And that is a deep sin. To be so out of contact with oneself that they cannot even decipher their own thoughts? It is terrible. A tragedy. And I can no longer allow it to go on. I must decide. I must speak with Sweetness. But before I do any of that, I must question myself. I must be set in my decisions, before I receive any outside opinions. My mind is such a puzzle right now. I'm almost physically sick with the confusion. I wish I could step back and look at it all from an outside POV. But on the other hand, do I really want to do that? I'm finished for now...I'm going to retreat into my mind, perhaps. I might take a shower. But I also might sit here and play video games. I might do all three. Whatever I choose, I must stand by myself. If I can't, then I can hardly expect anyone else to.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

Add a Little This: Genre

Fiction:

a : something invented by the imagination or feigned; specifically : an invented story b : fictitious literature (as novels or short stories) c : a work of fiction; especially : novel

2

a : an assumption of a possibility as a fact irrespective of the question of its truth fiction> b : a useful illusion or pretense

3

: the action of feigning or of creating with the imagination 

 

 

Non-Fiction:

 : literature or cinema that is not fictional 

 

 

Simple enough? Good.These are the two main categories of "genre". These two can, of course, be demolished into thousands of sub categories. Like this;

 

Fiction:

Sci-Fi

Romance

Thriller

Fantasy

Mystery

Action

Ect.

 

 

Non Fiction:

Sports

Gardening

History

Technology

Animals

Art

Science

Ect.

 

Just by looking at their differing sub categories you can see how different these two genre's are. It's very important not to confuse the two. Admittedly, I used to confuse them a great deal. But that was a long time ago. Anyway, this post is short for a reason, just to give you something to mull over. Go forth and find two examples of each Fiction and Non-Fiction. Which one do you indulge in more?

 

 

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

 

Add a little This

I'm not going to pretend I didn't get on here for a reason. But that reason is irrelevant now, so on to my post.

We'll start with this.

Staring out the window, looking down on the insignificant insects of my species, I cannot help but observe the disgusting way they, unfortunately 'we', move about and cater to the needs of our existence. Walking is a less then graceful way to get around, breathing is loud, eating is horrendous, and don't get me stated on how they disposes of their wastes. As I sit, and observe I take note of one particular insect, a relatively stout man with a large belly, dressed in a blue work shirt and black slacks. Nothing very noticeable at all. He's balding, carrying some sort of paper in his hand, and has a peculiar gait. Coming from the opposite direction is a woman of similar stature, wearing a purple zip up jacket over a green shirt, jeans that are  too small and slippers adorn her feet. She has dyed her hair a fake red color and she is the owner of a pair of coke bottle glasses. 

Simple enough, what next? our protagonist, who also happens to be the narrator I think, seems to look down on humanity very harshly, pressing the reader to feel a similar way in order to get his or her point across. For the sake of simplicity, we'll refer to the protagonist as a "him". He points out two people that he finds particularly disgusting and describes them with some disdain. His point behind this is to give the reader a sense of place. Where could these two people be if the woman is wearing a jacket, but the man is not? She is dressed casually and he is dressed semi-formally with no jacket to be seen.The narrator does not give any description of setting, so lets throw some in.

The fat, balding man appears to be making his way from his car, headed to a drab looking building with paperwork in his hands. It is early spring, and the trees dotting the street are half bare. The extreme overcast makes it a touch chilly as the wind sighs lazily through what leaves have appeared. The cars that drive by on the main road quick, and there are no open windows to be seen. A pair of crows hops about on the green space betwixt the sidewalk and the road, searching for unlucky animals or leftover human fodder. As they strut up and down the sidewalk, I am reminded of  humanity and their incessant arrogance. Revolting.

There we go, some setting. Now we can piece together that Man and Woman are outside. the narrator is inside, we conclude from his earlier observation that he is looking at Man and Woman through a window.He continues to describe a parking lot, and a sidewalk, a main road and a few notable features. Such as the crows, the trees, cars, and the weather.Even his description of these things makes the world seem dull and boring. With a taste of foulness to top it off. why does the narrator hate humanity so? He is human, so we can assume because he tells us so. Perhaps he is visiting a different country and sees this nastiness for the first time in a race he isn't familiar with? That's far fetched. Let's add some dialogue.

I cannot hear the man, nor the woman as they pause to speak with each other, though I didn't suppose that they knew one another. Perhaps one insects is asking the other for directions? I presumed the conversation was something like this;
"Excuse me, sir?" the woman says, waving her hand in his direction as they approach one another.
"Oh, can I help you?" He calls, fumbling with his paperwork as the breeze contemplates whipping them from his grubby hands. 
"Do you know where the library is from here? I can't find it and I've been wandering around here for an hour." She says almost hysterically, raising and dropping her arms in exasperation. The bald man stares at her for a tic longer than is polite before gesturing to their right, just a jog across the street. 
"See that building there?" he pauses as she turns to look, "That's the library. It closes at six. Would you like me to take you over?" He offers politely and the woman whips her head back to stare at him, anger flooding her body. Even from my view point I can see that her posture has changed from demure and helpless to ridiculously, and stupidly independent.
"I can get there on my own! Do you think I'm stupid! I've just never been here before, okay?!" She shouts, more waving angrily with her short, flabby arms. It almost looks as though she is going to strike the bald man for his offer, but he steps away and shakes his head, holding tighter to his paper work.

There, we've added a new dynamic to the story, speech. Woman is apparently dumb and Man is exasperated at her anger. The narrator seems to be on Man's side, but also describes the scene with an offhanded sort of carelessness. Notice, that the narrator clearly made up this dialogue, paring it up with the pictures he saw through the window.He makes Woman out to be extreme, with her sudden changes in mood and her dramatic gestures. Man is on the opposite side of the spectrum however because he his calm and helpful, full of disdain just like the narrator. Let's finish this up like this:

The fat, obnoxious woman dashes across the street toward the library, narrowly avoiding getting crushed by an oncoming car. The man watches her go, and once she is safe enough on the other side, he proceeds into the bland building he was headed toward before this unique encounter. The woman, I lose sight of, but I presume she made it alright. Not that I particularly care whether or not she makes it to the library. It was simply an observation. Humanity is sick, and should be cleansed, but that is not my place. I am only to wait for them to come unto me. As I once was as they are, though shall never be again. Interesting how I still crave to sit and watch their daily lives go on and on. Do they know how I wait for them in the wings? Can they feel me? Curious...

There you have it. What is our narrator? If he is not human, but he once was? I don't know. That would be something to further investigate about, I suppose. If there was a sequel or something. But there isn't. His particular dislike seems to enthrall him enough that he must often find himself watching humans from far away. The "wings" if you will.

I'm so hungry now that I can't even think anymore. So I'm going to do something else. Congratulations on getting through this probably very boring post.
Good afternoon, Gents.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

Just another Spam post.

If you're a writer and you know it clap your hands!
*clap clap*
If you're a writer and you know it clap your hands!
*clap clap*
If you're a writer and you know it, I think that you should show it, you should comment on my poems, clap your hands!
*clap clap*

http://www.wattpad.com/user/Mercy003
:D

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

Mothers

This will be quick, I have things to do.

But I've spent the last oh...hour or so, trying to find the perfect quopte to start off this post. But I couldn't find one.
Why?
Because I was looking for a quote that describes how I feel about my mother.

I love you!

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: So...about your nipples...

Musical Melody

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."

- Dale Carnegie

I'm not starting this post with that quote for any particular reason, just in case you were wondering.It just sounded like a good quote to use today. Of course, I suppose subconsciously I'm using it for a reason, but I couldn't for the life of me tell you why. I'm trying to find something in my mind to write about. So this might just be a long series of strange and abruptly cut off thoughts. That's alright though, because writing is a muscle that needs to be flexed occasionally, if not daily. We're at Starbucks today, Sweetness and I. We've been here for a while. I tried ordering Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life online and decided that I'll just wait until I have more money or find it in a store somewhere. That's fine with me. I really want it. I do. But I am honestly poor and can't afford to spend money on really old video games. (video games period, actually.) I know I should be applying for various places that I haven't already applied for. Like Taco Bell, Starbucks, QFC, Safeway. Jobs that I previously had no desire to obtain whatsoever.

And to be completely honest with you, I still have no desire. Unfortunately however, I need a job. I need steady income so that my female and I can find an apartment (or a house) to rent that is to her liking. I really don't have an opinion on where we live as long as she's happy with it. She wants to share a bedroom? Fine. Wants two bathrooms? Awesome. Demands a full kitchen, a den, and a studio? By all means. Whatever she wants, I strive to get for her. I know that I often take far too long to get things or do things and it frustrates her. 

In my defense, or excuse, whichever you see it as, I am a slow moving creature. I very rarely feel the need to rush for any reason.  I don't like fast. I prefer slow and deliberate (in most areas of life, not all) I enjoy fine attention to detail and I am known to be very exact about certain things. I have taken up making abstract art in Paint (the program) and Sweetness looks over my shoulder while I'm zoomed in on the itty-bitty pixels, filling in white spaces and fine tuning things and she shakes her head. Sweetness! My perfectionist doll! She shakes her head. I can't help but laugh. I'm finally being anal about something. The tables are turned! In any case, ranting at you about this has made me a tab bit more willing to fill out applications to work at places I hate. 

C'est la vie,

Sacred Secret 

What-What

There's so much stuff that I could write about, that I'm not going to write about. I found my love some things online (because she asked me to, not cause I'm spending on her again ;p) and now that I've done that I think I'll get off the computer and play video games until she get's home.Or maybe I'll look for cheats and unlockables and play video games. Whatever whatever.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: If the first thing that came to your mind when you read the title of this blog was "In the butt" then you should comment saying "Got me." lol

Ohh Nooo!

I meditated for too long and my thoughts got too deep.
Sweetness is home now, she ended up not going to the mall with said co-worker.
Do they have online psychiatrists? I think I need one. Just to help me sort out some things I think. Otherwise, I think that session was successful. For future reference, listening to the Zelda CD did not help. See you soon.

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Jealousy

I found this "article" on one of my favorite "reference" websites. I put these words in quotes because they aren't legitimate sources for this information, but because it's hard to find such things. I use my gut instincts.

The Theory of Jealousy
(clicking this link will open a new window, FYI)

It's pretty good, if I do say so myself. The author of this "article" also has a lot of other helpful things on topics I'm highly curious about. I'm going to meditate further (while listening to my The Legend of Zelda 25th Anniversary Symphony  CD!! :D) on this subject. If I find anything else to toss your way, I'll try to remember to post it.

Sweetness is at the mall with a co-worker. So I have time.She captures my attention completely when she's around, so that makes it difficult to meditate then. I'll get it out of the way while she's busy.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

Dark Outside

Starbucks tonight isn't lonely. I'm sitting here with Sweetness, so much closer to home. I have a feeling that this is not a good study environment for her, however. She seems to get distracted really easily, and she can't seem to quite resist the temptation of buying a delicious drink! Its okay though, she'll get used to it. We'll be coming here pretty often, since Sweet has an online class and we don't have Wi-Fi at home. Very depressing. It's warm in here though, and basically within walking distance (if we didn't have to carry all our stuff too!) Anyway.

    How have you all been? Are your new years resolutions working out? I didn't make one out loud. But I think I secretly want to try and write more this year. I've been trying to find the time to. It looks like the weekends and my time after blogging is going to have to do. I could get up a little earlier and start before the baby comes, then I can start back up during naps (maybe) and after he leaves. I don't know if all that will work. My brain seems to get jammed up a lot. But if I keep at it and do regular exercises (the mental kind) then hopefully I can get the Guys to stop harping at me. Because honestly, gentlemen, you're not helping. You're just making it harder to hear my own thoughts.
     I almost wish I could post pieces of my works on my blog, so the masses could give me some sort of feedback. But then I run the risk of thieves. And nobody likes those guys :(. Damn idea stealers! It's kind of sucky, not being able to share my works in progress with you. If it was just a fanfiction or something, then it wouldn't be a big deal. (on that note, I haven't written fanfiction in a long time!) But I plan to make money off of it someday, so no internet publicity for me. *shrugs* Oh well.

I think this Starbucks has more artwork than the other one does. I figured out another perk to blogging all the time, it increases my typing speed! Do you know how fast I could type if I did this like, everyday? It would be insane! lol I'll try to keep you updated on that! (among other things)
There are a lot of asides in this post...

Sweetness is accident prone. I thought you should know. And on top of that, her cousin is teaching her how to fight. Bruce Lee style, I guess. I'm not a fighter. In anyway, really. So it doesn't really interest me. But it makes Sweetness happy for me to be interested in what she's doing. And it isn't terribly boring. But I prefer learning about the mental aspects and she prefers the physical. I figure because she's so small, its probably a good thing that she learns. Later in life, when I have daughters, I want to enroll them in some sort of self-defense class. I think it would be good for their self-esteem. I also want to enroll the boys in a dance class, to show them that they can do anything. Their world doesn't have to be gender divided. Hehe I have big dreams for my progeny. Good luck with that, hm?

Well, I think I ought to go try and write now. OR find a prompt to get the juices flowing. Oooh. That automatically became sexual in my head. Hahahaha "juices flowing" Woo. Funny. Don't laugh out loud to yourself, Mercy. It's weird. Off I go! (hopefully @_@)

TWMA,
Sacred Secret

P.S: Tonight reminds me more of Christmas Eve, than Chrsitmas Eve.

Betwixt

Hello! How was your New Year's? Mine was awesome. I played video games with Sweetness and a few friends, drank apple cider and had a good time. New Year's day, we went to the club, and danced the night away. I have acquired the following games:
1. Viva Pinata (I LOVE THIS GAME)
2. The Legend Of Zelda: Skyward Sword
3.Skyrim
4. Just Dance 3

I have to say, it's a pretty decent haul. I'm going to trade in Skyrim though and use my 20% off birthday coupon to get something else. (Hopefully Mortal Kombat but we'll see.)
Valentine's day is the next major holiday I think. Unless Mardi Gras comes first. But in either case I'm getting my Sweetness some gifts. I really want to get her jewelery, but I know that she needs clothes.Or some new tennis shoes. I was thinking about it yesterday while we were at the mall, but it'll depend on if i have money or not. Hmmm, hopefully my mom will be able to toss some money my way for watching the boy.  If I can stand to save it, then I'll be able to get her things for the upcoming holidays.
What are you getting your partner for V-day? Try to get them one thing they need and one thing they want. That way you touch both bases and they can't be mad! It's clever, I know. I have to do big things for Sweetness this year, because I couldn't do much for her birthday. Which reminds me, I have to check ticket prices for flights to South Carolina. Sweetness and I are going this summer to visit my Dad and family.I hope to pop down to New Orleans too, but we'll see how much it costs. I want to take her traveling, I really do. And she's always wanted to go. Someday I'm going to take her to Europe and hit all the places she's dreamed of going. Italy, France, Ireland, Scotland, Greece. Everywhere. Someday, Sweetness, I promise.
Well, I've got to go now and check those prices. See you again soon, blog flowers.

TWMA,

Sacred Secret

P.S: Thank you Sweetness, for everything you do for me. I love you.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year's Eve, everyone. See you on the other side :)


TWMA,
Sacred Secret

Sunny Spot

Do you ever find yourself taking a cat nap in a spot of sun shining through the window? All the warmth and deliciousness of the sun without the burning! lol UV rays don't go through glass, so you can't get burned or tan that way. Cool huh? Anyways, how are you all? You're probably curious as to how my presentation went today. I'll tell you!
It didn't.
That's right. I didn't go. I didn't even do the tri-fold at all. I know, I know. I'm just as sad as you are. I was going to do it. In all honesty I was. But, idk i figured it isn't worth it anyway. I mean, what does it matter? I'm just gonna have to take all these classes again. So whats the point of doing all the hard work for it? That doesn't make sense. Besides, i need to focus on getting an evening job so I can start saving money to get an apartment for Sweetness and I. She hates living with my grandmother, and to be honest I do to. But I'm so used to it, I guess I just don't care anymore. My mom lived with her for years. So I feel like it'll take me that long to get out too. Sweetness won't allow that though. I'm always curious to see how far she'll go before dropping me. I'm dead weight in her life, so it'll be interesting to see hoe far she's willing to go. I'll try to keep you updated in that front if anything changes.
I think its cute that every store is playing Christmas music. I'm sitting in Starbucks like "la la la la! Doo dee doo doo! Jingles merry bells christmas yaaay!" Rocking and stuff. Luckily, no one cares so, its okay. Sweetness has a final today too. So She's busy. I'm gonna go fool around online now.

TTYL,
Sacred Secret

Brown Cow

Don't ask me about the random animal titles. It's just what comes to me, yeah? We're leaving soon. Sweetness has an interview for a job she doesn't want. It's a job though, that will give her more hours (thus more money) than the one she has now. So...anyways. I'll be back. Like, monday. Or something.

THIS BEAT IS SICK,
Sacred Secret

Blue-Bird

I realized something, ladies and gentlemen. I completely forgot to put Pikachu/Zelda paraphernalia on my Christmas list! How sad and tragic! Oh well, I don't actually expect to get anything I wished for anyways.This blog is going to be short, I decided. Cause I don't think I can think of anything to say really. I'll probably skate over to Lowe's for no reason. I'm hungry, and broke. So thats too bad. I've got like fifteen dollars, but that is a pitiful amount of money. Cause usually when people say "I've got fifteen dollars" they mean I have fifteen dollars on me. I literally have fifteen dollars to my name. Right now. It's sad. In any case, I'm getting tired of listening to these med students study, so I'll be going. Hop over to Sweetness's blog and wish her a late happy birthday. She'll appreciate it.

Sleepy,

Sacred Secret

Happy Birthday, Sweetness.

Sweetness, I want you to know how much I love you. You are such a beautiful woman and I am so grateful that I have gotten to stick around and watch you grow more and more beautiful each and everyday. I love to watch you flourish and spread tentative wings, it pains me to watch you struggle and get frustrated, but know that I will always be around to help you through it all. I'll be here for you as long as you need me, Sweetness. I promise. I love you. Happy Birthday, my love.
 
Starbucks is full of people today. I had to ask a gentleman if I could sit next to him. He didn't mind, and here I sit. I purchased a Christmas gift for Sweetness and Pooka. By some strange miracle I had like, $20 extra dollars in my bank account. Merry Christmas to me! Of course, I only got them one gift each, but that should be enough. I got gifts for the most important people in my life.

Sweetness turned 20 today. 

She's in class though, and I don't know what we're gonna do when we get out, since I'm broke and so is she. I wish I could have bought her a present for her birthday. But hopefully what I did buy will get here just in time for it to be a half and half present. Half birthday half Christmas. I just hope she likes it. I don't know anything about it. But Amazon has never done me wrong before. I'm counting on no one else getting her any. Cause if they do, mine will look really cheap and sad. Oh wells.

Okay! So I did something cool (aka FUCKIN SCARY AS HELL) today. I drove Sweetness's car to Starbucks! Now most of your are probably like, "well why is that a big deal? You're a grown ass woman." That's not the point. The point, my flowers, is that I do not have my license. And I've never driven alone before. See, Sweetness was going to be late for class so she told me to drive the car to Lowes. Which is more or less, just across the intersection. I, however, being terribly nervous and inexperienced, got in the far left lane. I didn't know that left lane means turn, but I figured it out. So I drove down what I believe is the highway, flipped a u-turn, hit the wrong pedal (luckily there was no one behind me) and came to a dead stop in the middle of the highway, then gunned it for the light, passed two cops (both of which btw didn't give a damn about me), drove into Lowe's parking lot and parked as close to Starbucks as I could. (long sentence) So thats what I did this morning. Right after deciding what Sweetness was going to wear today as her birthday outfit.I decked her out I think, and if I had more time, I would have done her make-up and flipped her hair. She looks hot when its like that. She likes it. Thats all that matters.

Starbucks is emptying out. there's only like four people in here now, (not including me), compared to the original ten or so. And this is not a very big Starbucks. Anyway, it's warm and cozy so I don't care. I kind of prefer the background chatter that comes with a bunch of people being in here. Its nice. I want to own my own coffee shop someday.

Alright, this time, I'm really going to write. Yesterday I got on Gaia (www.gaiaonline.com)and spent all my time there. It's sort of addicting. But today I promise I won't. I will check my email though. And that's it! I swear. ;)

Happy Birthday, Sweetness,

Sacred Secret

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Seriously, it might as well snow. Here I am, in Starbucks again, while Sweetness is in class. My cock-sucking whore bitch of an "aunt" (parenthesis because I refuse to claim her as family)is at my house, so instead of going home and chillin and getting warm and cozy with a cup of Sweetness's coffee and a book, I'm at the coffee shop. Now, as I've said before I enjoy being at the shop, because it makes me feel true to my craft. But that's not the point. Oh well. You know what? I need to get out of Washington. I need to jump ship like Kelsie. Except, if I go, I'm taking my woman. She's the only sane person I fucking know. I could live with Sweetness. Matter-of-fact, I live with her now! I could easily move in somewhere with her. No problem. We occasionally have our fights, but that happens. Nothing too big or unbearable. We're pretty symbiotic now. I'm happy with where we are.

Anyway, I gotta figure out how to talk about something else. I'm really sleepy and cold.I want a coffee, but I promised Sweetness that I'd buy her one for her birthday (tomorrow) so I can't. I love spending money on her, and I think she knows it lol. Of course, she feels bad whenever I do it, but I don't mind. She lights up like a kid, and gets all smiley and stuff. Its adorable, and highly addicting. I
can't help myself. Its a bad habit for my wallet. But caring is sharing, isn't it?
I did it again.

So, I'm going to try writing in this environment. The Society suffers when I'm in contact with the internet. Its another bad habit. I can't seem to focus on what I'm supposed to be doing if I have the internet. For instance, I'm blogging when I should be filling out applications, or writing, or something like that. But blogging is sort of relaxing. Kind of like the Internets form of meditation. I can vent to you and you won't give a damn. Mainly because you don't care, but also because someone, somewhere out there, understands. And I think that's part of the allure of the internet. You're not alone. Ever. No matter what you're interests are, no matter what time it is where you are. There is someone on the same site as you, some one searching what you're searching, someone feeling how you're feeling. and it makes the world a closer place. A single unit like I'm sure many people have dreamed that it could be. Kudos, inventor of the internet.You made the world a arguably better place.

I'm gonna go now, probably do something I shouldn't. Tootles.

Happy Holidays,

Sacred Secret